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The Sex topic - an update on moderation

465 replies

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 01/03/2023 09:43

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all your comments over the past week regarding the Sex board. It’s become clear from the discussion that we needed a rethink about our approach to this part of the site and so we’re going to introduce some rules to help ensure that posters can get the support and advice they need from the board and that everyone has clear expectations of the behaviour we expect.

Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board.

The board is text based - we don’t allow NSFW (not safe for work) images.

We don’t allow links to any NSFW sites or personal profiles on other sites

We will not tolerate creepy or harassing behaviour in particular from male posters

We’ve also had concerns raised about the ongoing ‘sex chat threads’ including the risks involved with allowing users to PM each other. Our approach has always been to allow consenting adults to make their own judgement when it comes to what they’ll share and, broadly, that is still the case across the site - but we acknowledge there are additional vulnerabilities here that we ought to consider.

With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat. For one thing, we can’t guarantee that the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are and we can’t realistically safeguard these kind of off-board discussions. We’ve looked at the moderation principles of similar boards on other sites and this is indeed the policy on several others.

We’d also like to address some of your other comments if we may. Last year we reduced the time required from joining to posting on Sex from 90 days to seven. We’ve no plans to change this at the moment because this timeframe has proved to be a sufficient deterrent to bad actors and we believe that 90 days is too long if you’re a new user with a genuine concern. We’d also like to be clear that our commercial partnerships have had zero bearing on any changes we’ve made (nor did anyone ask us to make changes) and MNHQ does not (and would never) post affiliate links to products under the guise of a regular MNer. We may be many things, but we are not underhand!

As with everything, we’ll continue to monitor the situation and we hope these new rules will go some way to reassure you. If anyone has further questions, please post here and we’ll do our best to answer them.

Thanks.

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PostMasting · 04/09/2023 02:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

gamerchick · 15/03/2023 14:06

Why does people keep going on about mods. Mumsnet isn't moderated. You have to report shit

C8H10N4O2 · 15/03/2023 13:46

Rhondaa · 15/03/2023 08:41

'I'd also be interested to hear what progress has been made on the enhanced moderation of the sex topic, particularly with respect to CSA.'

They've said repeatedly posts will be assessed on a case by case scenario, just report anything you see that you feel is off.

The sex topic is people asking for advice with a bit of light hearted chat inbetween, it isn't wasn't wall to wall pornography. I've no idea why some of you are so bothered by it.

Nope, it was strongly implied that a more proactive or enhanced process would be used. If that is not the case then the statement needs amending.

There was also a question about whether modding that topic would be optional for mods, considering mods don't have the option to hide stuff. Not seen that answered.

Rather like the extra crystal clarity about age - fine words, butter and parsnips spring to mind.

Rhondaa · 15/03/2023 08:41

'I'd also be interested to hear what progress has been made on the enhanced moderation of the sex topic, particularly with respect to CSA.'

They've said repeatedly posts will be assessed on a case by case scenario, just report anything you see that you feel is off.

The sex topic is people asking for advice with a bit of light hearted chat inbetween, it isn't wasn't wall to wall pornography. I've no idea why some of you are so bothered by it.

C8H10N4O2 · 15/03/2023 08:01

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 20:48

But sometimes, children whose parents have had their eyes open to Reddit and blocked it effective immediately, do know that their parents’ MN account has some ‘juicy grown up stuff’ on it. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been around a while, I’ve seen teenagers of innocent MNers hijack their accounts and ask all sorts of dodgy stuff. I’m not saying it’s rife but if it happens, so if it happens in this scenario it will become known sooner or later that it’s easy to access and request ‘extreme’ content amongst young people, and that could create a whole new wave of trouble. It needs to be shut down before it starts I think, by restricting access here, now.

Show quote history

They don't need to "know". Google will find it - a google search on key words appearing in some of the recent sex topic threads takes you straight to an MN link and from the link you are straight into the content.

No need to log in, no need to traverse an NSFW label, not even a clearly worded message - if you happen to notice the small greyish sentence at the top of the page it doesn't anywhere mention age or age restrictions, just a twee mention of "grown ups" in the middle of a wordy paragraph.

So my question remains @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet - how will MN be implementing "Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board"?

I'd also be interested to hear what progress has been made on the enhanced moderation of the sex topic, particularly with respect to CSA.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 15/03/2023 00:18

Rhondaa · 14/03/2023 22:30

'but mostly it seems to be populated by lonely people and those with serious hang ups about sex that can't communicate with their partners,'

Oh stop being so sneery snd snooty. People are not necessarily 'lonely' because they post on mn and newsflash many people have hang ups, or problems, regarding sex. You only have to read the many, many threads about sad, sexless marriages.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help you must stop shaming people.

Huh? I literally said if it makes people feel better to post about it each to their own. I'm not saying they are lonely just because they post on mumsnet, Im saying they are lonely based off their posts. It's clear that lots of people have hang ups, I'm glad you agree, are you shaming people too by agreeing Confused Weirdly aggressive post Janiie but pop off if it makes you feel better!

Rhondaa · 14/03/2023 22:30

'but mostly it seems to be populated by lonely people and those with serious hang ups about sex that can't communicate with their partners,'

Oh stop being so sneery snd snooty. People are not necessarily 'lonely' because they post on mn and newsflash many people have hang ups, or problems, regarding sex. You only have to read the many, many threads about sad, sexless marriages.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help you must stop shaming people.

Surplus2requirements · 14/03/2023 22:26

@CrotchetyCrocheting I think it's true that many people struggle to talk openly about what to many is a very important part of their lives and that's sad.

The fear of shaming and belittling is a very big part of that

CrotchetyCrocheting · 14/03/2023 22:17

I think there should be a zero tolerance for csa threads and threads like the previous one where someone was talking about their under 18 Yr olds sex life on the sex board but in relationships or a suitable board they should be modded on a case by case basis.

I have no problem with the sex board in general now that the sex chat thread is gone, there clearly are a few old pervs there but mostly it seems to be populated by lonely people and those with serious hang ups about sex that can't communicate with their partners, I don't think that they pose much of a risk to the tone of mumsnet in general. If the sex board makes them feel better then each to their own really.

Surplus2requirements · 14/03/2023 21:49

I do feel that there is a very tricky balance between allowing a space where people can talk about and receive advice and support around CSA and wider safe guarding concerns of any mention of CSA.

I think a careful and considered case by case basis by HQ is the most sensible approach and users can flag up anything they suspect of being questionable anywhere on the forum.

Considering neither of the threads highlighted in this and associated threads were posted on the sex board but are being repeatedly used as a stick to beat it with makes no sense.

aineoverseas · 14/03/2023 21:28

Their decisions haven't exactly been on the ball lately as far as sex stuff goes.
I have less faith, unfortunately.

Mermaidparades · 14/03/2023 21:12

@AGreenProblem MN know their stuff, I have faith in their decisions

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 20:48

Mermaidparades · 14/03/2023 12:10

I don’t want to minimise anyone’s concerns but I do wonder if the MN sex board is really a destination for underage posters. Reddit is available from 13 and I recently signed up as I wanted to explore what would be available to my DC. Let’s just say my eyes were opened.

But sometimes, children whose parents have had their eyes open to Reddit and blocked it effective immediately, do know that their parents’ MN account has some ‘juicy grown up stuff’ on it. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been around a while, I’ve seen teenagers of innocent MNers hijack their accounts and ask all sorts of dodgy stuff. I’m not saying it’s rife but if it happens, so if it happens in this scenario it will become known sooner or later that it’s easy to access and request ‘extreme’ content amongst young people, and that could create a whole new wave of trouble. It needs to be shut down before it starts I think, by restricting access here, now.

Mermaidparades · 14/03/2023 17:27

@LucyLeave would that really prevent someone underage from accessing the content though? I know I totally get on your nerves but I’m not actually the opposition. I don’t want young kids reading/seeing inappropriate stuff online either!

C8H10N4O2 · 14/03/2023 16:56

mafsat · 14/03/2023 11:53

Some kind of age verification process would be a good idea.

Show quote history

And in the absence of that stop claiming that NSFW content is adults only.

You don't need to log in to read the supposedly "adults only" content on the sex topic so claims about it being adults only are utterly meaningless. The content appears via Google searches and clicking on the link takes you straight in.

LucyLeave · 14/03/2023 16:45

Mermaidparades · 14/03/2023 12:10

I don’t want to minimise anyone’s concerns but I do wonder if the MN sex board is really a destination for underage posters. Reddit is available from 13 and I recently signed up as I wanted to explore what would be available to my DC. Let’s just say my eyes were opened.

Reddit marks all adult content as NSFW and you have to opt in to see it.

Surplus2requirements · 14/03/2023 13:50

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 10:03

I thought the issue was CSA being discussed on the ‘sex’ boards? Not on the website in general?

It's my understanding that neither of the threads flagged by @HaroldsHoodie as potentially problematic for CSA content were on the sex board but other areas of the site (the one at least still standing certainly isn't) so I can't see any reason for the sex board being singled out for extra restrictions.

MeganTheeScallion · 14/03/2023 12:29

I can't quite believe I'm still saying this, but it's about more than the sex board. (which I've never said should be got rid of btw).

Anyway.

I'm bored of this. I'm going for a Twix.

Mermaidparades · 14/03/2023 12:10

I don’t want to minimise anyone’s concerns but I do wonder if the MN sex board is really a destination for underage posters. Reddit is available from 13 and I recently signed up as I wanted to explore what would be available to my DC. Let’s just say my eyes were opened.

mafsat · 14/03/2023 11:56

Like paying a deposit with a credit card?

mafsat · 14/03/2023 11:53

gamerchick · 14/03/2023 11:29

Do you know what you're wanting here because it's not clear. What is it you want? Deletion of the sex board? Hide it away so it's not findable?

The sex board was opened years ago. Years. If you see dodgy shit then report it as we've always done.

Show quote history

Some kind of age verification process would be a good idea.

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 11:50

@gamerchick I’m sorry but there’s no way on earth I’m even going to pretend that what I want isn’t clear from my post. I’m tired today, I don’t have time for nonsense.

gamerchick · 14/03/2023 11:29

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 10:41

I really don’t get any sense of urgency from updates on this thread, it’s all very passive. A long term user leaves, quite politely despite the circumstances, and all that is said is “sorry to hear this”.

Reading things like this persisting on this site and then seeing pictures of Justine smiling next to prominent political figures is, I’m sorry to say, disturbing.

And yes as a previous poster has said, it is not restricted. And Mumsnet is not a secret place that only grown ups can find after the kids go to sleep, as much as we might like to feel that way when we are posting. You can continue to wave goodbye to users and ask people to wait for decisions to be made, but at the very least can you treat it with the urgency that it deserves? That you would if an authoritative board stepped in and told you to pull your socks up? Can you place it that high up on your priority list, please?

Do you know what you're wanting here because it's not clear. What is it you want? Deletion of the sex board? Hide it away so it's not findable?

The sex board was opened years ago. Years. If you see dodgy shit then report it as we've always done.

mafsat · 14/03/2023 11:15

Irony is not high on the list of things people on the sex forum possess 😆🙄

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4760015-sex-board-again

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 10:45

In fact, I’ve seen this more than once: the child of a MN user highjacking their parent’s account to post weirdness before the threads get deleted, normally with a very apologetic parent behind the scenes. So do you really think they don’t know what they can find here? Or even request?

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