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Original poster

Does MN have any standards, limits or rules for what it allows on threads?

68 replies

Brainbleachplease · 18/02/2023 20:02

A couple of years ago a thread on here was deleted and rightly so because it was a thread for women having affairs to support each other. It was deemed not in the spirit of the site.

Yet mumsnet is allowing a long running thread in the sex forum for people to hook up for sex chats. So my question is what are mumsnets rules on threads? Are there no rules? What's the difference between threads like that and fab? Frankly this site must be gold dust for the wank fodder and men who would have to compete and pay on sites like fab.

So my question is mumsnet what are your rules for what is in the spirit of the site. You must have some rules, surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 16:10

PinotPony · 19/02/2023 16:08

And yet, those of us on the thread who are women have been lumped in with the "disgusting, cheating, perverted men".

Take a moment to think how that feels. I always found the sex boards to be a place where I could talk openly and not be judged. Now I'm told that I'm no better than a paedophile.

By all means object to the content being on Active. We all want that. But please refrain from the judgemental outrage. Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like.

Show quote history

And that's where you are wrong in regards to at least one poster.

OP posts:
lovem · 19/02/2023 16:10

"Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like."

I mean ... you can read the posts. Openly. Of course you can get a sense for who's posting there Confused

And yeah I'd be feeling a bit attacked too but if you really don't think you're one of the creeps, why does it matter? And surely you want creeps to be blocked too?

PinotPony · 19/02/2023 16:08

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

And yet, those of us on the thread who are women have been lumped in with the "disgusting, cheating, perverted men".

Take a moment to think how that feels. I always found the sex boards to be a place where I could talk openly and not be judged. Now I'm told that I'm no better than a paedophile.

By all means object to the content being on Active. We all want that. But please refrain from the judgemental outrage. Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like.

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 16:05

Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 16:00

Just walk past them

don’t go to that part of town

just ignore them

if you don’t like it, don’t go there

all ways of telling women that unacceptable behaviour by men is their responsibility by avoiding said behaviour, not that the behaviour itself is unacceptable.

Report any alleged predatory behaviour. Otherwise allow adults to make their own decisions and keep ya neb out is my top tip.

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 16:01

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

I mean you could report them for being men ...

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 16:01

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Thank you!

OP posts:
Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 16:00

Just walk past them

don’t go to that part of town

just ignore them

if you don’t like it, don’t go there

all ways of telling women that unacceptable behaviour by men is their responsibility by avoiding said behaviour, not that the behaviour itself is unacceptable.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:58

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Exactly. I'm not sure what the spirit is any more. The tag line is 'by parents for parents' I think it might be time for an updated one.

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 15:55

@lovem explained that perfectly clearly. I think that the post should be reinstated. It should not have been deleted.

MN are not the morality police. But … they do have a responsibility for setting the tone for the place. If a number of us are saying that it’s uncomfortable, grim, unpleasant, I think that’s worthy of a response.

Hooklander · 19/02/2023 15:55

Flounder2022 · 19/02/2023 13:43

Did you go on especially so you could be offended and then come here to tell everyone?

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Why not? It might be a slow day in the Ostryga household. It's a permissible past-time.

Reindeerinsummer · 19/02/2023 15:50

Scroll past it?

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:49

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

Show quote history

Because there is at least one predator on that thread who was asked not to post on other long standing threads. Another poster also mentioned the same poster I'm referring to yesterday.

@MNHQ has been inconsistent with applying any standards to the forum.

OP posts:
Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 15:48

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

Same TGs apply to men and women..

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 15:44

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:16

You can keep telling me that - but just like you think it's fine and there are no problems, I don't think it's fine and can see problems, as can some others.

No pitchforks, no "cats bum face" here, although plenty of Envy

You don't have to think it's fine rather accept other people behave differently to you and as long as they adhere to TGs then there's nothing you can do. Fwiw I wouldn't post in a sex chat but I recognise lots of women will enjoy it so why not. Each to their own.

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 15:39

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

Show quote history

The thread appears in Active now.

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:32

It's a hookup for chat thread.

Show quote history

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:32

MrsMcisaCt · 19/02/2023 15:12

Ooh, you've made me want to go and look now!
I'll come back and tell you if I also find it hard to swallow..

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It's a hookup for chat thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:31

Those who assumed I was talking about a singular OP thread are incorrect. The thread started off as being titled about limerance or something like that and it was mostly OW posting.

OP posts:
lovem · 19/02/2023 15:16

You can keep telling me that - but just like you think it's fine and there are no problems, I don't think it's fine and can see problems, as can some others.

No pitchforks, no "cats bum face" here, although plenty of Envy

Questioningtoday · 19/02/2023 15:14

MrsMcisaCt · 19/02/2023 15:12

Ooh, you've made me want to go and look now!
I'll come back and tell you if I also find it hard to swallow..

Show quote history

You might get some tips over there 😉

MrsMcisaCt · 19/02/2023 15:12

Ostryga · 19/02/2023 13:11

Well I’ve ruined my Sunday looking at the sex chat. Each to their own but god that is hard to read 😳

Ooh, you've made me want to go and look now!
I'll come back and tell you if I also find it hard to swallow..

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 15:10

'Personally I think it's already bloody creepy and occasionally predatory'

It is well moderated anything 'creepy' or 'predatory' will be deleted.

Adults are allowed to talk about sex. There is a weird pitch fork waving thing going on. Folk need to lighten up, stop trying to shame women and allow other adults to behave as they like. Within TGs.

The remove from active thing fine, push for that if scrolling past 'sex toy' is a problem, but the whole cat's bum faced attitude is crazy.

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 15:06

RabbitSocks · 19/02/2023 15:02

For parents, by parents.

Though it’d seem there are plenty here who’d claim immaculate conception.

And posts like these are why some of us don't want the sex topic in Active or a hook up thread hosted by MN.