KEEPING KIDS SAFE - MNHQ NEED YOUR TOP TIPS

agree with Franny, it is important to teach them to question things, and not just do what they are told. (You have to make an exception for teachers at school though!)

Do role play with them
"What would you do if there was a fire?"
"What would you do if someone offered you a lift home?"

Tell them never to go out of public sight into someone's house or garden, unless it's been okayed by parents first.

Treat vitamin pills like medicine and keep them out of sight (was surprised when googling poisons to find out that one of the commonest ways children get poisoned with with adult vitamin tablets containing iron)

Don't assume that because you have got high chair harnesses etc that your children are safe and can be left alone.
I used to hardly ever fasten harnesses, and was consequently very vigilant.

Talk to them about things like not letting someone else touch their bottom.

Ask them what they did at school? Who did they talk to during break time? Don't just assume that because you are hearing nothing, that everything is OK.

Whenever we are in a crowded place, or somewhere distracting like a museum, we go through our drill. At first we simply reiterated the rules to our children, from about 4y we do it as Q&A:

Q: What do you do if you can't see Mummy or Daddy?
A: Stand still and look around me.
Q: And if someone comes to you and says "Come with me, I'll take you to your Mummy (or Daddy)"?
A: I say "No, thank you. I'm waiting here for my Mummy. She's coming to me."

We never say "Don't go too far", or "Stay where I can't see you." After all, how can they know what is too far, or what I can see?! We always say "Make sure you can see me." If they go out of our sight, we call out "XX, can you see me?" and s/he usually comes running back around the corner "I can, now, Mummy!"

When out walking I give them a landmark showing how far they can run ahead (eg the red-leaved tree) and teach them to wait for me on the houses side of the pavement at street corners, rather than by the kerb.

My eldest is 7.

A few days ago I was going to add a post about getting out of the car when we park it.

I've told my 8 year old to get out on the pavement side of the road and stay nearby on the pavement till I have finished unloading and locking the car.

However the message hadn't sunk as much as I hoped On Friday, as I gathered ds1's school things from the boot of the car, he was nearly run over. Our street is quiet and he had absent mindedly wandered into the road without looking properly. A car swept in front of him, missing him by inches. The driver stopped the car in shock.

So ds and I have had a serious talk about how IMPORTANT it is for him to stay on the pavement, even if the road is quiet.

I think this shows me how easy it is to get lulled into a false sense of security. ds1 is getting older and I trust him more, so I am not constantly watching him by roads - but this has shown me he needs a strong reminder on safety and I need to watch him more closely.

I read this thread yesterday and then did the shopping, took some new toilet rolls upstairs and wondered where to put the empty wrapping. So I would add - never put any plastic bags in waste paper bins around the house - always use a bin you know is secure.

Abby - I used the stairgate until the youngest DC was about 3 and a half (took that long before I could be comfortable that the minx would be likely to stay in bed all night - she frequently got in with me up until that point)

When ds started to crawl and be able to tackle the stairs, it took a week to teach him how to come down safely (ie on tummy, backwards). Gates errected at this time because the stairs were a great attraction.

Ds now 2.5. We still have stairgates attached - now used to prevent falling downstairs at night or to keep the dog out of the way if there are small guests that are not used to dogs.

i meant spidey - as in spiderman! he gets a spidey sense about stuff

i specifically used it in reference to sleepovers or round at someones house. i know i used to get it - i think i did a thread about it last year.

i know you said specifially in reference to your ds - well am not sure if ds's have this spidey sense ( ironic as spidey was a man) hate to be sexist but my daughter knew exactly what i meant - whereas my sons think i am completely over cautious bonkers nutbucket - but she definatley gets that 'wrong' feeling when around certain people - i did too as a child - even as a small child i can remember feeling distinctly uncomfortable in certain peoples presence.

If they get lost in a shop they must firstly stay where they are and shout for me. On no account should they run around trying to find me, or leave the shop.

I've been teaching DS (3) this for a while -I've just asked him now what he should do/not do if he loses me in a shop/street and hes got it right!

Sorry, I wasn't clear in my last post. When my daughter needs guidance on how to be safe this is the technique I use.

Haven't readall posts so this may be repeating others....but I try and use positive language otherwise children just hear the last bit. For example " Don't jump on the sofa" becomes "Don't JUMP ON THE SOFA!" Instead I try and verbalise the positive behaviour eg "Sofas are for sitting on" When my DD can work out the positive behaviour for herself instead of being told not to do something she is much better behaved.

And they know never to run near a swimming pool

(these sound like wierd random ones but just trying to include those that have not been covered)

I teach them to bite into grapes as soon as they are put it their mouths (choking risk)

Be vigilant on holiday; many people let their guard down when they are away. Before even starting to relax, check out accommodation and make sure smoke alarms are working, windows are safe, plastic bags away, put cleaning materials/sharp knives etc up high, as well as any medication you have taken with you. Check gas oven hasn't been turned on by your child before you go to bed too.

The thing that is most likely to kill your child is the road. It is non-negotiable bollocking if they put a foot on the road from the time they can walk. And non-negotiable bollocking if they do not stop at the kerb.

I let my children tell me when it is safe to cross - and make them take the lead. So we stop, say "It is safe to cross? You decide when we will cross." And we talk about looking and listening. I do this with my 2 year old.

Sometimes it takes a minute or even two before she decides it is safe to cross. But a minute or two at the kerbside each time is nothing compared to hours sitting in A&E, at a child's bedside - or worse.

Stickyj - that reminds me of when dd got caught up in dh's jacket once. It was one of those with a nylon drawcord at the bottom.

I heard a weird crying sound, raced downstairs to see twisting round tryign to get out of it as the cord was getting tighter. SHe had several red marks on her neck

Since then I've always put things like scarves, skipping ropes etc in the cupboard under the stairs (which is locked).

ANd if you have blinds, put a hook next to the window to loop the cord onto.

Try to create a home atmosphere where you kids feel like they can tell you about their mistakes without you jumping down their throats, or attacking their character. Eg Child tells you they have failed their test - didn't do their homework, spilled their dinner all over the sofa - try to remain calm and listen. I think this is really important as it means they are more likely to tell you important things as they grow up, and less likely to keep 'bad' secrets.

custardo - like the spidey sense - that sounds helpful for when my DC are a little older...

If you need to carry any medication with you in your handbag, put it inside a childproof jar or bottle. Chemists sometimes sell these, or you can wash out an old Calpol one.

For all deaf parents - don't leave your hearing aid batteries in handbag/work bag...they will get hold of it...they will pull the battery packet out and you will then spend next 20 mins in blind panic trying to remember just how many batteries were in there, poking around their mouth, and in my case, sending photo via sms of the battery to a nanny friend to reassure me that DS couldn't have possibly swallowed anything that size without making some kind of noise that would have alerted DH and I.....

for teenagers i think its imperative that you tell them that in an emergency they can reverse the charges - and reinforce the fact that no matter what trouble they are in - their safety comes first and that you would be so much more likley not to be pissed at them if they phoned you.

for kids of sleepover age. i have talked to my daughter about a 'spidey sense' a wrong feeling - for no other reason that can be explained in words except you dont feel right - it might be an older brother, dad, mum sister grandad uncle of a friend of theirs.... what they do ...hmmmm its inexplainable - but something doesn't feel right in their presence.

so told me daughter about this and told her that if at a sleepover she must ring me even if its 3am - if shes not feelign 'right' i would raher she be home and i would think of some tenious excuse on her behalf.

came in handy as far from her thinking i was a loon she told me that she gets that feeling around the estraged dad of one of her friends - who visits his daughter rarely.

when going to a new place i pick a huge landmark and say if we lose each other see you back here.