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Original poster

Could we have an "interracial" talk topic?

169 replies

toky · 28/10/2004 14:33

I would dearly love to talk to other mums in mixed relationships, about all the issues of mixed-race kids etc. I know I could start a general mixed race thread (and will do if this request is turned down), but there are so many 'sub-threads' I'd have to end up starting, from the thorny political issue of mixed-race hair to in-law (in)sensitivity, etc etc!

OP posts:
hercules · 29/10/2004 14:14

I like "mixed families".

Shimmy21 · 29/10/2004 14:13

Hello everyone -so you're all still at the name thing!! IMHO the name should be as broad as possible and people will select themselves if they feel it's relevant for them. I guess the Special Needs topic area didn't feel the need to specify what they mean by special needs. What I mean is we should leave the name broad e.g. 'mixed families' and then people will join in the threads if it's relevant for them. If someone feels that their family has any aspect of 'mixedness' be it culture, ethnicity, religion or even class then surely we want them to feel they can contribute?

jampot · 29/10/2004 14:06

Im not from a mixed race family (unless you count Anglo-Irish descent)and the only problem we have there is my dh wants too many potatoes. I would certainly read the threads as its interesting to know and find out about different cultures and how people deal with extreme multi-cultural differences. Plus there seems to be loads of mixed-culture relationships on here from MNers kids, marriages, even parents.

hercules · 29/10/2004 14:00

I like the idea of it being for mixed race families but I wonder whether it would be too restrictive in the number of posts.

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:31

Phew indeed. Really important to keep this positive as it's a positive subject.

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 12:26

Phew! Am off to have lunch, bbl

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:26

Yes yes yes on all counts LM!

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 12:25

I would like to think of this topic in a similar way to, for example, the Special Needs topic. Many parents get valuable help and support sharing with other parents with SN children. I also think people who don't have any links to a SN child or person can post there to ask for help or advice.

I certainly don't feel resentful that they have their own topic and don't think it has been divisive on MN. The fact is, they DO have many different experiences and issues and problems than parents with a non SN child. And it is very similar with mixed race families.

Hope that makes sense and was a reasonable comparison to make..?

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:24

Sorry, bad link: this is it: Mixed Feelings: The Complex Lives of Mixed Race Britons

OP posts:
Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:23

And I am trying to tread carefully here - I really don't want to offend anyone - without taking the topic a million miles away from what I intended.

I would like to be able to discuss mixed-race family issues such as those explored by Yasmin Alibhai-Brown in her book /link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0704347067/qid=1099048889/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-1730242-5044424\Mixed Feelings: The Complex Lives of Mixed Race Britons}, with others who are going through the same thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:17

Agree with LM!

OP posts:
Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:17

Yes I really hope we can keep this positive. hmb, if you are looking to share experiences, maybe suggest an 'interfaith' (or whatever term you prefer) topic???

The word 'race' / 'ethnicity' should probably be retained in the topic title to avoid confusion - ?

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 12:15

I don't think you're out of order posting, you have a valid point.

hmb · 29/10/2004 12:09

Oh, hope that I am not out of order posting, as dh and I are both white british. It is just that this is the sort of thread that has all the hallmarks of starting out realy well and ending up unpleasent.

I think the religious thing could become very complicated, for example I belive in god but dh doesn't. I don't self identify as a 'mixed' couple because of this, but I can see that others might IYSWIM.

LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 12:09

OK, Well, I suggest we leave it at that then, a topic for mixed race families.

PS. It was getting scary, took me about 15 minutes to compose each post in case I inadvertantly insulted anyone

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:01

Not sure about the religion thing as it's not relevant to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 12:01

Yes, I'm scared too!!!

Yes, LM, what you said is what I'm getting at. What I'm looking for is a topic for mixed-race families, like yours and mine.

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 11:38

I know hmb, that's the difficult part!!!

LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 11:37

Have I got this right?
This subject area would cater for a family like mine, which is mixed (colour not religion in my case).

But does not necessarily include, for example, an Indian family, where both parents are Indian.

Would it be able to include a mixed religious family? Parents of different reigion?

Don't mean to sound, inclusive and exclusive, but you see what I am getting at I hope???

hmb · 29/10/2004 11:31

Puts head nervously above parapet. This could get nasty, hope very much that it doesn't. Ducks back down again

LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 11:29

Oh dear...

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 11:28

I think I'd be happy with pretty much any 'mixed' category (whether racial or cultural), but would be unhappy to be thrown together with all 'other' (agh) races - the white and black experience are equally relevant/irrelevant to the mixed one, iykwim.

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 11:24

I think quite tricky, but possible. Everyone's experience is so different. I'm going to think about some possible sub headings, or something...

Original poster
toky · 29/10/2004 11:21

Mmm ... and I feel on potentially tricky ground. Don't want to be divisive / exclusive but I don't think all "non-white" people share the same issues - the MIXED experience is quite specific, especially when it comes to parenting.

If other black / Asian etc mums feel the need for a separate Talk Topic (I don't!), maybe another thread could be started - ?

OP posts:
LipstickMum · 29/10/2004 11:12

There seem to be A LOT of different issues coming out of this subject area, don't there??