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Original poster

Mumsnet needs your best parenting tips!

213 replies

Justine (mumsnet) · 21/10/2004 14:36

As part of the publicity for our forthcoming TV extravaganza - Mums the Word on Discovery Health (due on Nov 8th) - we are putting together a piece for the Guardian on mums' the top tips/ advice/ mantras from the parenting front line. It's supposed to be fairly light-hearted and witty - which is where you come in - and can be anything from something you wish you'd known much earlier to a really practical solution to an everyday parenting problem that you never would have dreamed would have worked before you'd tried it. The idea is to be a bit more colourful/ amusing than our usual daily tip on the home page so feel free to embellish a bit and use anecdotes. Many thanks in advance - can't wait to see them.

OP posts:
agy · 23/10/2004 11:15

Deer poo in your garden looks just like chocolate covered raisins...

The best way to rinse a child's mouth out is to say "stick your tongue out darling, let mummy wash it"

nightowl · 23/10/2004 07:20

there's nothing like a toddler to let all your friends know what you REALLY think of them.

batey · 23/10/2004 06:30

No one tells that one day you'll be shining a torch up toy toddlers bum in the middle of the night checking for worms! They also don't tell you REALLY how long it takes to get rid of nits!!!

redshoes · 23/10/2004 04:20

small babies can produce rip-roaringly load noises in their nappies. When this happens to you in a quiet cafe/shop, don't point apologetically at your child - other parents will understand and those without children will avoid eye contact

pixiefish · 22/10/2004 22:46

Tiny babies can projectile poo as well as vomit. Dh got caught with this when dd was 1 week old. i heard a scream and he was stood dripping in the stuff and didn't know what to do. She alsocaught my mum but I always managed to change her nappy side on. She also let rip a few times in the bath- and it dissipates

Amai · 22/10/2004 22:21

Never take parenting tips off other parents

milklady · 22/10/2004 21:38

If you breastfeed your baby in bed, you will at some point wake up to find a "lovebite" on your boob where he has started sucking on the wrong bit.

I'd choose labour over learning to breastfeed any day. With labour you know it's going to hurt but to be over soon, nobody warns you about breastfeeding!

jellyhead · 22/10/2004 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelloMama · 22/10/2004 21:16

Tell the little'uns when the ice-cream van goes past with the jangly tune on, all the ice creams have run out...

unicorn · 22/10/2004 20:59

arrrrr agy !!! and

agy · 22/10/2004 20:58

A small child weighing no more than 2 stone and measuring less than 90cms takes up at least two thirds of a king sized double bed.

agy · 22/10/2004 20:56

Teenagers will mess your house up, hog your msn, worry you with late nights and be a general pain in the &rse. But when dd1 finally packs her bags and leaves home for university, you will go into her bedroom, sit on her bed - and HOWL!

edam · 22/10/2004 20:39

LOL Popsycal.
I may have posted this before but ds produced one in the bath and tried to pick it up and eat it! I moved very fast, I can tell you...

popsycal · 22/10/2004 20:17

raisins also always come out whole

Frizbe · 22/10/2004 20:15

give up and let your one year old, and now wise to pudding baby have the banana half way through the main course, they will go back and finish their dinner after pudding....

harrassedmum · 22/10/2004 20:03

I would also agree that baby wipes are excellent for getting stains out - it has worked wonders on my carpets!

Sweetcorn always comes out whole

You have no dignity anymore, with midwives and doctors poking around and you discuss the whole thing with anyone in gory detail and you are not horrified when they do the same to you

The best luxury in the world will be going to the toilet/in the bath/shopping with out the darling little angels, bless them

Bearess · 22/10/2004 19:37

Do not let your child eat a lollipop on a crowded commuter train.

With a young baby, when it takes forever to get out of the door (although ds is now 3 and we are still usually late) make sure your baby bag is stocked up the night before, I always used to replenish when we came home from wherever we'd been, so we were always ready to go the next day, pending three pooey nappies, obviously...

It is perfectly OK and indeed a selfless act of motherly devotion to eat your child's Easter eggs. Just think of their teeth and you should be able to force it down

Twiglett · 22/10/2004 18:58

Children's food tastes much better than adult food .. fish finger sandwiches, jelly and ice cream anyone?

Bunglie · 22/10/2004 18:54

Ensure your child eats all it's food, or you will finish it....and it will stay on your hips

willow2 · 22/10/2004 18:43

choosing even

willow2 · 22/10/2004 18:42

When chosing a highchair, check to see how many nooks and crannies there are for food to get stuck in. The one I bought had 57 - yep, I counted them - it was a xxxxxxx nightmare to clean. Plus the release catch for the tray was in just the right position for a small child to undo with a well placed kick. Result - breakfast, lunch and tea on the floor. I ended up taking it back and saying either give me my money back or you clean it. I got my money back.

willow2 · 22/10/2004 18:39

If you are going out somewhere smart do not get dressed until your baby/child is out of projectile vomit range.

OxyMoron · 22/10/2004 17:12

Once your boobs become functional, rather than merely decorative, you'll be amazed how many inhibitions you'll lose. You'll get them out at the cafe, on the bus, in the shop changing room (to test how practical the dress really is), and will even answer the door with baby latched on.

Spod · 22/10/2004 16:52

you can tell how tall you toddler is these days by looking at the snot marks on your jeans

Anchovy · 22/10/2004 16:51

When your small baby hasn't had a poo for two days, you should dress it in baby gros with feet attached.