A typical mumsnet debate???

let's face it,of all the women in the world who can't bf (and it's only really a very small percentage) and also would be breaking there heart over it (a smaller percentage still, i'm guessing) and have broadband (ever smaller) there's a good chance we'll turn up here or somewhere like it as we'll be the ones looking for answers on the internet, iykwim? so in a way i think that there are probably a disproportionate amount of 'unable to bfers' on MN than in the general population because there's every chance it's how we came to be here in the first place. frankly MNHQ's business model is stuffed without the bfing fuckups like us!

twofalls, i felt exactly the same, and i also searched for reassurance and eventually found some at a specialist bfing unit, but it was only after much heartache. then found this place, had a brief conversation with tiktok and realised that if i'd only asked here in the first place i would have got the answers i was looking for without all the pain and worry.

Tiktok, thanks for saying that you don't believe all women can bf. I think that was what was really hard for me, the thought that I just hadn't tried hard enough and to be honest I searched for that kind of reassurance and didn't get it from anywhere at the time.

Sometimes I don't think this is said enough so thank you.

frazzledfairy, you're really, really wide of the mark there. i'm often to be found jumping all over people who automatically talk about ff as a choice and who give the impression that trying harder would have worked. 9 times out of 10 by the time i've huffed and puffed my way through a post tiktok has got there before me and serenely explained that not all women can bf. truly, what you say in yor last post is Just Wrong.

as a first time mum, and like an earlier poster i was obsessed. yes obsessed with bf, i had no idea that ff would lead to less bf,, the info i got from mn was invaluable

well tiktok, i normally try to steer clear of bf/ff threads but as you started this one.....

i have to admit that my thoughts as i was reading the tread you are referring to were "thank goodness you weren't my midwife when i was trying desperately (and failing) to feed ds1 and 2".

even reading your posts on the thread brought back those feelings of uselessness and failure

you give me the impression that you think anyone can bf if they really want to and those who aren't successful haven't tried hard enough.

Well I was noseying at that thread because I was wondering about the pros and cons of using a bit of formula because I hate expressing, it's a drag. I had to wade through a bit but I got the info I needed and I'm glad it was there. (going to persevere with expressing)

there are LOADS of us, twofalls! we're just not allowed to talk about it...

Thanks Aitch, yes it really is the pits and I remember all those horrible feelings all too clearly. I did have loads of advice (bf counsellor nearly started paying us rent) but it just didn't work out for us and I remember feeling so wretched. One year one, although I would have dearly loved to have done it, I do wish I hadn't given myself such a hard time and just gone with enjoying my little girl (which in a clumsy was is the point I was trying to make originally).

I read your blog by the way and was so relieved to find some other ff BLW-ers and to know that I wasn't alone!

LOL, yes tiktok.

and twofalls, having been through the same thing as you, i am ever mindful that the issue is a sensitive one. i actually did mix feed and late ff, but i wish someone had been more explicit with me about the fact that i could not expect to formula feed indefinitely. sorry to hear that you had a grim time, it is the pits, isn't it?

pmsl to note that if you google 'mum advice mixed feeding' you get my blog whinging about how rubbish i was...

ladymuck i think that to expect every poster to check google before posting The Truth about an issue while being mindful of the OP's state of mind is a bit much. i definitely found MN through google and it was around the time when my bfing was failing and i was looking into weaning, so i am definitely aware that on most issues threads from MN will come up. and i very often went through more than 50 googled pages, such was my tearful obsession with the subject. which you can read all about on my blog, arf, arf...
neither the OP nor anyone offering support was doing anything contentious on that thread. truth is, some people came along and took the opportunity to work out some of their own issues regarding the well worn bf v ff debate and that's when things went, if you'll pardon the expression, tits up.

tiktok, you probably didn't feel that last kiss from me then?
FFF I like a nice quiche, not too eggy!

Oh Christ, I thought I had learnt my lesson about being too obsequious.

FWIW tiktok, I have seen the thread, although didn't dare post on it. I think it was a very unfortunate turn of events, and I don't think you did anything wrong.

I'm not part of any clique but I hope this doesn't stop you from posting your very lovely and well-meaning advice.

Enough arse-kissing now, or I will get a name for myself.

lol

Your all being horrible mumsnet is full of quiches these days

OH phew I thought you were ignoring me! Thank you for understanding.

It is emotional and I think very easy to forget how sensitive you are in those first fragile weeks as a new Mum, without having gone through what the op had gone through in this particular post.

My dp doesn't know who cried more in the first 6 weeks, me or the babe! I was utterly obsessed with bf and would talk to anyone and everyone about their experiences (dp said my obsession with breasts was worse than a teenage boys). I do look back now though and wish I could have relaxed about it all a bit more (and ironically bf might then have worked!).

I think all of that is easy to forget in the midst of offering practical, sensible, supportive but perhaps not always welcome, advice.