HELP - MN NEEDS YOUR TIPS FOR FUSSY EATERS

Sometimes just getting ds to taste something is enough to get him to eat it - that's half the battle. Have started telling him that all I want him to do is taste it. Then if he really doesn't like it, I won't make him eat it. Since I've treated him like a grown up, he's been more cooperative.

I was a fussy eater myself and clearly remember the arguments I had with my parents - a lot of the time I refused to eat because they continued the fuss. I'm sure that I'd have been better had they made less of a big deal about me eating.

If you dont want to drive yourself completely bonkers then ignore it, prepare them something you know they will eat and absolutely no treats unless they do eat it.
there is nothing more disheartening than spending 3 hours lovingly preparing fresh, organically reared food to be told "I want chick sticks!"
I agree with morningpaper, some kids WILL go hungry rather than eat food they dont like (or think they dont like)
My brother lived on jam sandwiches and onion monster munch for 2 years. It drove my poor mum insane - He is now 30 and 6 foot 2. Bit of a twat, but cant really blame that on the food
My 3.5 year old ds has quite a restricted diet, but I supplement him with a vitamin and iron tonic (as advised by a paediatrician).
I know my ds, and I also know he will eat a larger range of foods when he is good and ready and not before.
Am not going to drive myself mad about it like my mum did.
Good luck

RomySchneider - depends whether they think it's clever to copy 'fussy' behaviour. ds1 ate everything by the time he was one and has continued to do so. ds2 was a right pain - rejected anything new. By the time he was one his diet consisted of Weetabix, bananas, fromage frais and marmite sandwiches. He drove me to distraction, but the candlelit dinners did the trick and he eats most things now. Strangely, he is still funny about fruit - he will only eat apples & bananas, not things that most other children his age (11) will eat like grapes & strawberries. He will eat curry, shellfish, etc which a lot of children his age won't.

From the point of view of the parent of one hideously neurotically fussy eater (ds1) and one amazingly eclectic eater (dd - eats absolutely anything and everything) and one in-between (ds2) I would say;

1. Ignore people who say 'no child ever starved themselves to death.' It doesn't help and just makes you feel bad. My ds1 would since if he is anxious he can't eat at all, and the lack of food he likes makes him anxious.

1. Make sure that what your fussy eater eats is FANTASTICALLY healthy, so that from a health point of view they are ok. Variety can come later. Even if that means peas, grapes and fruit smooothies every day (I am indebted forever to Buzz Lightyear and the Incredibles for getting ds1 onto fruit smoothies!).

1. Don't make any fuss about what they are or aren't eating. Make it a total 'non-attention' thing. Serve the food, take the plate away when they've finished. Offer a variety of foods (ones they like, ones they don't like) and let them take the responsibility for what they have, even down to serving themselves. Ds1 has lots of the things he likes, none of the things he doesn't, dd has a little of everything.

1. Make meal times a fun social time for the family so they LIKE sitting down at the table for food.

1. Don't stress - some children are fussy, it's not necessarily a reflection on your parenting, despite what lots of gurus suggest!

I think it would be useful to tell parents that it is usual for children to go through a fussy stage and that it is just a phase. Use JARMs approach and it will pass relatively quickly. Turn it into a battle of wills and it might last rather longer.

My DCs were fantastic eaters as babies, tried everything put in front of them and ate with gusto. When they were around 2.5-3ish they rejected loads of foods that they had previously eaten. This lasted for about a year or so, and then they gradually started eating a full range of foods again.

They do have a very short list (5 or so) each of foods that they dislike now (at 7 and 8Yo) but then so do I

I would have found it enormously reassuring when they were going through their fussy phase, to know that it would resolve itself in a short time!

At what age do they become fussy? My 1 year old DD eats everything at the moment, even had olives and loved it. Is that likely to turn?

Agreed with JARM and moondog. If she doesn't eat it at lunch she will definitely eat it all at dinner.

put new things on a plate full of things they love. You may have to do it a hUndred times but they will try it eventually

Put food out, if its refused, remove it after half an hour or so with no fuss but DO NOT OFFER ANYTHING ELSE unless its fruit and then thats ok!

Try the paper plate method. draw pictures of different foods and get your child to stick what they want on the paper plate from a selection you have allowed!

make lunch with them ever so often. You may end up with crazy combinations but its makes food fun for them.
erm erm

if they really won't eat a particular food, stop offering it for a few months and then try again.

Eat with them. not only is it a great way to talk abouttheir day and yours, its good fro them to see you eating things.

Where you can, eat the same as them

Thats it for now! AM off to read the rest of thread to see if there are things i haven't yet done

ds1 (9) who has been super super faddy forever has suddenly started eating everthing in sight...thought oh how amazing my nigella powers have finally worked..no turns out he watched some programme about children not eating ending up in hospital which scared him s*less. am bad mum so have no idea which programme oh the power of tv. guess scare tactics are not generally a good plan though..

MPlatypus

mp I think Pease pudding was the 1900s quinoa

sometimes I justs lie

Throw out the microwave and get a juicer - Its amazing the vegetables and fruits that DS will drink that he would spurn if presented on a plate.

I think a certain amount of fussiness is normal. I would imagine that 3 year old fussiness (I only want to eat something I have known and tried) has saved many a child from poisoning in centuries past. I think you just have to go with the flow (allowing them to have a diet based on the things they like), while not going mad (cooking separate meals for different members of the family).

Sometimes a just lie - e.g. introducing tinned salmon as pink tuna.

Serving Fajhitas is good

I think I picked up that tip here

Put all the healthy things they like into little bowls or on one huge plate and let them roll up and eat their own tortillas

Mine love this, it's bizarre

ROWNTREE'S BASKET OF GOODS (what was considered "the basics" which one needed to buy in order to be considered above the poverty line around 1900):

1 Milk (2-4 pints)
2 Bread (5-6 lbs)
3 Coffee/cocoa
4 Porridge (10 pints)
5 Margarine (2-4 oz)
6 Pease pudding (1-2 lbs)
7 Tea
8 Cheese (12 oz - 1 lb)
9 Bacon (6-8 oz)
10 Vegetable broth (4-5 pints)

no hummous or quinoa in sight

we serve whatever we are eating

BUT

give them what I know they will eat alongside - raw red peppers (have to be red ), raw carrots, bread etc - and then if/when they whine I point and say "well you like those"

both mine started off fab, then went downhill

dd1 (4) is tentatively starting properly again, dd2 (2) is just a general nightmare

both me and dh were brought up with the if-you-don't-like-it-lump-it philosophy so this is what we do

I much much much much much prefer to eat in peace when they have gone to bed however

MY dd1 is fussy

I disagree with the "they wont starve" argument - because she is under the height AND weight charts and has been through stages of not eating anything and behaving in a FOUL way for days because she is hungry

I think you REALLY need not to fight it. Always offer something that they WILL eat at a meal - there is no point offering cauliflower cheese repeatedly if they don't like it. So offer cauliflower cheese AND something that they WILL eat.

If they live on bread and butter for weeks it doesn't REALLY matter - 100 years ago this was a fairly normal diet!! We have just become so used to having an excessive array of choice that we have forgotten that people used to eat VERY few foods - basic bread, potato and cheese and veg kept people going for years.

LOL Moondog.

Anyone find they invite a good eater round for a demo of how to eat properly and they all start being fussy?

Do NOT under any circumstances offer pudding before their greens have been eaten. That way madness lies.

Just eat what you normally have, give them some and if they don't want it, hard cheese.

run away

Message withdrawn

Generally I'd agree that ignoring them is the best option, but we had great success with ds2 when he was 3 by doing the opposite. He developed a bit of an obsession with candles - absolutely loved them. So... being the devious mummy that I am, I promised him that we would have a candlelit dinner every Sunday, provided that he ate the same as everyone else. (ds1 was always a great eater and just had the same as us from about age 1)

Every Sunday we had a roast meal with potatoes (which was ds2's favourite) but would introduce one new vegetable every week. Bless him - he loved his candlelit meals so much that he was quite happy to eat everything!

And from a behavioural perspective,the more effort you put into their meals,the more you reinforce their fussy behaviour.

Put it on extinction.
In other words-IGNORE 'EM.

What JARM said.
No more to it than night.
Life is too short to bugger about fashioning bears' arses out of celery tops and sring cheese for a tyrannical 3 year old (who won't come to any harm missing a meal or two anyway.)

No truck with this malarkey at all.

Also, my DH assures me that he hates lentils and other such pulses so when I make stews, soups etc, I add a handful of red lentils and he is none the wiser. I once made a lasagne using brown lentils instead of mince and added beef stock to impart some meat flavour. He ate it all and thought it was delicious. I still have not told him.

I'm still working on a way of introducing cous cous because he just point blank refuses to try it.

I explain to them the goodness of what they are eating. Now my 3yo DTS will say things like "carrots good for the eyes" or broccoli good for skin and the best one, "salmon good for the brain" before they eat them.