HELP - MN NEEDS YOUR TIPS FOR FUSSY EATERS

Don't listen to anyone who says "no child will ever starve themselves". wanna bet?? Agree with a pp who says it just makes you feel inadequate that "even the bomb proof failsafe method of just waiting and they will eat eventually won't work with my child".

ds (2.5) only eats cream cheese, toast, berry flavoured yogurts, petit filou type things, apples, sometimes mum's little pastry turnovers with ratatouille in, maybe banana and chips. (And any amount of biscuits and crisps given half the chance, which is very infrequently). It's been the same for over a year, and doesn't look like changing any time soon. I give him vitamins when he hasn't eaten any ratatouille or fruit, and the paediatrician I saw in a gibbering heap a few months ago said that although his diet is not ideal, he is healthy, fit and very active, progressing OK in all areas, happy, stable, sleeping well and no behavioural probs so I am not to worry that his diet is cocking up his development.

My best advice for mums of fussy eaters therefore is get them checked by a healthcare professional and if they confirm that all is well, you can relax a little.

Should also point out that I have not gone straight in with the laissez faire approach, this comes after months and months of trying EVERYTHING in the book.

Redbush, I sympathise but it sounds as though your DD is getting a wide variety & blalnced diet without veg, so not to worry. Note that tomatoes & avocado appear to be fruit but classed as veg, so if she eats them you can tel her she does like veg after all!

I have DD (13) who used to eat loads of things she now won't touch (eg fish). Drives me nuts. I think she gets bored with food. I was brought up with 'eat it or starve' but have been persuaded by DH that's not a good idea. If I don't want to eat something, I don't, so why force them to? But not get to the stage of it being a bloody cafe with 'choose something from a menu'.

Agree the best way is to cook fun stuff for everyone and feed the fussy what they like in the most boring way (chicken goujons again?) until they try what the rest are having.

my ds will not touch tomato. it's ok as ketchup or pasta sauce but anything else is a no go. he loves sprouts though!

he'll eat most greens but it's def more of a texture thing. eggplant is out as is anything mushy... he's been like that for ages and is nearly 10 so i'm hoping he'll get better as he gets older

Find foods they do like {spag bol or lasagna in our house is a firm fav) then sneak other foods in.

Also I found a special plate works well too. I bought some melamine plates with farm animals on, my three love them, and we try to clear the plate so they can see the pictures.

My eldest eats anything,his fave is olives and has been since weaning!The 3 yr old however doesn't ever eat 3 meals a day but does ALWAYS eat 2 bowls of brekkie and lots of cream crackers with cheese and butter...have decided not to worry anymore as it is not me that goes to bed hungry....

hey redbush i have same issue with teatime, so i always prepare a small thing ie sandwich or fruit for myself to eat with dd, then have a grown up meal later. you can't have every meal together if its not physically possible!!

Stay calm and don't get upset (no 1 and most important rule)
We have tried the reward chart and stickers. With mixed results really.
We have tried the no pudding one, again, it meant that dcs got so upset at the prospect of no pudding that it didn't work, also makes pudding be the treat.
We have had more sucess with saying that there will be no snacks or biscuits (we don't have them at home) at playgroups, or any treats really.
Then it just a case of being calm and reminding them of this at the beginning of the meal, and being clear about what you want them to try (one new thing at a time), and praising any efforts made.
This approach has started to work once ds1 turned 4. Before that time, I think you just need to offer a variety of foods and not get too worried as long as they can see that you enjoy a good diet, they will usually end up improving as they grow up

Each week we now let dd1 age 3 choose a new fruit and vegetable for us all to try, as we felt we were in a bit of a rut with the things we served her and dd2 aged 1. So far spinach, cabage, baby turnips, mango and sharron fruit have been the real winners and the only thing turned away, after tasting 2 bits, was courgette. She did eat quite a good range before this, but she seems to like having a bit of a say in what she eats. Another trick is to offer 2 choices of cooked meal for that day (obviously what you have available) then she also feels that she has some input.

At what age do you start the "can't have pudding if not eaten savoury"? Have DD just about to turn 1. Current diet is sausage casserole (still mashed) chilli and rice,Bolognase sauce, sometimes tuna pasta bake and fish fingers. Can't get any veg in as finger food but adores all kinds of fruit. However can only get a (what I think is) small portion of savoury in and then she stops and refuses any more but cries as still hungry so will happily eat small fromage frais and fruit. If I didn't let her have this she wouldn't sleep very long! Currently sleeping 7pm - 7am!

Also find it hard to eat with her as she is usually starving by 4.45pm - DH not home until after 5.30pm

Really good to know this is a very common thing!!

i have 1 major fusser, 2 good ones and a baby of 16 months that i've finally got it right with by just giving her whatevers going and not stressing if it ends up on the floor
my fusser is much much better and improves all the time. my policy is

i cook what i want to cook and we all have the same. the fusser would initially start with a tiny bit of plain meat, no sauce, tiny bit of plain rice etc, i'd let him hav a bit of bread and butter for bulk
then we all have fruit before pudding and if the fusser has eaten poorly he has two bits then he can have pudding
he really has come on leaps and bounds, he now has everthing we have on his plate and month on month eats more of it. i do allow for a few 'tastes ' though - for example he cant abide cooked cheese which i can understand
keep at it

Actually the lying thing works sometimes, I told a reluctant ds that some pear was apple so he tucked in happily! Once he realised he actually liked it i said 'oh did I say apple? silly mummy its a pear!'. Sometimes getting them to try a bite or two is the hardest bit.

Yes you are quite right lucky. Some children have real problems with eating for various reasons, whether special needs or allergies or whatever, and deserve more patience than we are talking abuot here. They are really an exception to the general advice and light-hearted remarks on this thread.

BIL got himself an allotment. Takes my nephew there at weekends and now he's gone from touching no veg to growing, harvesting and eating the lot.

i really do see the point of everyone's advice, but a word of warning (not to sound too dramatic) but i think i unwittingly put my ds1 through a lot of trauma. he'd try and eat what we'd given him to plese us and then be so anxious he'd vomit. he would not eat for a long time, waking in the night though never asking for food, because we tried the no option route - this was when he was 3. when he was 4 (by which time i'd just decided to work round his limits and he has a balanced if unchanging diet) he was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and his very high levels of anxiety were mentioned by all the professionals that have assessed him.
that said i have had lots of gently tried success lately. fruit juice jelly and ice lollies. fruit and yoghurt ice cream (greek yog best). charlie and lolas book in which peas are called 'green drops from greenland' had a big impact! baked beans are back because of the swimming pool cafe - so a change of scene. a mumsnetter told me about parsnip chips just put them in with wedges or oven chips. fruit picking was fantastic - pressure free introduction to lots of different fruits. i find chat about anything but food at the tea table also helps. i think supplements have given me peace of mind, but i always check with the pharmacist that they're ok.

Haven't read thread so apologies if I am repeating anything

My top invention is a mixing breakfast, which is empty yogurt pots full of all the things you want them to eat. You put all the pots on the table and let your child choose what to put in their bowl. If they are under 3 they are almost certainly going to tip the whole lot in, and then hopefully eat it. Older ones can pick the things they like and feel like they have control. You could try this with salad contents and so on as well.

Try not to get too het up if your child won't eat "proper" foods at each meal, or the appropriate foods for that time of day. Homemade pizza for breakfast is nutritionally equivalent to a bowl of weetabix, milk and fruit juice. It's just wheat flour, cow's milk and tomatoes - perfectly good food.

Find healthy snack foods that they enjoy and let them help themselves whenever they like. Give them a drawer, box, or section of the fridge that is just for their snacks, and let them choose when and what to eat from it. Fruit, dried fruit, nuts, oatcakes, mini cheese portions, crudites and dips etc are all great foods and can go a long way towards meeting a child's nutritional requirements for the day.

Go to a greengrocers or market to get your fruit and veg instead of a supermarket. Children can see, feel and smell the produce and choose new things that they would like to try. The staff hopefully will get to know your child (regular customers at a market or greengrocers get GOOD treatment) and may make a fuss of them or give them treats when they come in.

Stretching the truth might help if you have one that flat out refuses to try anything new eg DS 20 months will eat 'orange ham' (smoked salmon) or 'white ham' (roast chicken).

Also keep on offering things they initially reject-after months and months of putting lightly steamed veg on DSs plate only to throw it away again he finally picked up a carrot said'circle round carrot' and ate it the other day.

Have also been mixing fresh veg juice (carrot beetroot) with copella apple juice which he loves to get veg down him.

I really do think that judging by friends nannies friends etc if you have a really fussy one they really just won't eat unless they really like it. DH is the same and he is 41....

Actually, what is Splenda? An artificial sweetener?

Also, yes some children are very fussy (or rather 'restricted') in what they will eat, and the worry is they won't get sufficient nutrition. They won't literally starve themselves, but left to their own whims they will be poorly nourished or deficient in some things.

We do have a responsibility to educate ourselves on nutrition and try to provide a balanced diet. And to ignore all the hype and advertising.

Presumably you have shares in this stuff?

and that is better than milk or watered down fruit juice because...?

Hi there - our lot dont like drinking plain water and some squash has too much sugar and artificial stuff in it but at the Vitality Show my wife found O2GO

www.wedrinkmorewater.com

the kids love it and it doesnt change the colour of water at all. It has 2 cals and uses Splenda as well as having some vitamins andminerals in

each sachet is used with a standard 500ml water bottle refilled from the tap - so is friendly for the environment too - Great!

Our boys like strawberry and Peach the best

Cheers

JY

starve them till they eat what you give

speedymama - try a handful of cooked cous cous in home made burger mix (esp good in lamb burgers, as is finely chopped dried apricots..)

cut out snacks.
Give a little of what you want them to eat not a big plate full!
dont make a fuss.
Offer meal if they dont eat it they dont get a treat.
Fruit is perfect for after dinner.
Reward all attempts at food.
try to eat the same with the kids.

Dont eat with DH if he is going to sit there saying "I'm not having any XXXX's!" etc it really wont help!

Good advice here. My DS (17mths) ate everything up until a month or two ago, and now has "fussy days" and good days.

FWIW, I have:
(1) cut out snacks apart from tiny amounts of raisins or bread & butter, and the odd mouthful of a biscuit (if I'm having one - on the basis that totally prohibited foods are going to be more attractive).
(2) used plain yoghurt with a variety of blended fresh fruit and passed it off as commercially sweetened yoghurt (even to the point of serving it in little pots).
(3) used a dab of cheese sauce on savoury meals.
(4) Blended veg into tomato sauce for pasta.

I also believe in the don't offer alternatives & try to stay calm approach. Not easy though, I know!