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Original poster

I'm not actually Jeffrey because

592 replies

HoneyDragon · 19/08/2015 23:23

In the interests of putting rest the suspicion and paranoia amongst us.
Especially as many of us will be newbies again I feel we should all (including MNHQ) prove we're not Jeffrey. By posting something our Jeffrey just wouldn't do, but a Mnetter would.

It won't take long and it's for the greater good.

I shall begin

I'm not actually Jeffrey because I steal toilet brushes from Centerparcs.

Right, who's up next?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
OverAndAbove · 20/08/2015 16:21

I am not Jeffrey because I am counting down and there are 127 days to go until Christmas

Also bcause I have not RTFT so I don't know whether anyone's said that already...

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 20/08/2015 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thecatisatwat · 20/08/2015 16:19

Jeffhas... does that mean that you can DTD in 3 minutes instead of the usual 3 hours? (Now tempted to NC to Jeffhasamicropeniswithaddedgrill).

Sorry. Getting too silly now.

SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 20/08/2015 16:16

I think you're right. I just have stupid hair.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 20/08/2015 16:14

Nope, they are sneaky and withhold the holiday ones Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneyDragon · 20/08/2015 16:14

it's not skill, I think it either works with your hair or doesn't. Good scissors help. Getting drunk and using kitchen scissors doesn't.

OP posts:
SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 20/08/2015 16:13

Pickleandchutney Grin

As a pp said, I'm enjoying the reminder of some of the old threads Grin

JeffhasAMicroPenis · 20/08/2015 16:13

I think the emoticons DO work all the time. You just have to know them?

Inarightpickleandchutney · 20/08/2015 16:11

Also I have adopted FONAR as my new bestie

SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 20/08/2015 16:11

Then you're obviously more skillful than me HoneyDragon Envy

Inarightpickleandchutney · 20/08/2015 16:08

I am not Jeffrey because I pooed on my skirt at work today

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 20/08/2015 16:08

I loved the Mumsnet haircut it always looked great when I had long hair.

OP posts:
SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 20/08/2015 16:07

I'm not Jeffrey because I've just given myself the mumsnet haircut and now i look shit.

inkpad · 20/08/2015 16:06

Lol at this..... I'm not Jeffrey as I remember the judge in South Wales and were planned a meet-up (seriously showing how long I've been on here for now!). Grin Grin

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 20/08/2015 16:06

I wish I was Jeffrey, then I could risk a prison sentence to steal have all the emoticons all the time too

OP posts:
CupboardOfBacon · 20/08/2015 16:04

I am not Jeffrey because I eat fat balls from the fridge.

Also I am not a cockwombling wankbadger!

JeffhasAMicroPenis · 20/08/2015 16:02

Have we had confirmation that Jeffrey isn't actually Brian? And that he was just feeling a bit of yoni lonely for the attention?

I demand to know MNHQ!

OpheliaMoo · 20/08/2015 15:58

I'm not Jeffrey because I haven't been Wendied that I know of

I have just re-registered with completely new details Smile

Shakey1500 · 20/08/2015 15:52

I am not Jeffers because I haven't RTFT Smile

Also ( I don't even need to guess that this has been mentioned elsewhere in the thread) because

I ENVISAGE ELDERLY KOREAN WOMAN LAUGHING AT THE WEEPING BICYCLE MONKEYS WHILST SIMULTAENOUSLY ADVISING SHARON HOW TO GET RED WINE OFF A GODDDAAAM WALL.

So there. And a Ye Gads for good measure.

TheJiminyConjecture · 20/08/2015 15:51

Are you Jeffrey?

No.

^complete sentence

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 20/08/2015 15:48
Torch

[helpful]

StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 15:48

One of my cats just puked on the carpet, then deposited a rather smelly turd in the litter tray. He's also a pain in the ass who needs constant love, validation, and demands attention in the middle of the night.

He's not called Jeffrey. Yet.

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 20/08/2015 15:47

I'm also not Jeffrey because I never refer to my servants as boys, whether they work in the house or in the grounds.

Mimigolightly · 20/08/2015 15:44

Gratefully accepts bleach from TheCat

I had previously considered myself very open minded but I can now see I've been leading a very sheltered life Confused

ScrambledSmegs · 20/08/2015 15:43
Shock

On my screen that's 12 inches of emojis.

I feel like that should be rude, somehow...

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