I thought you were better than this MNHQ

The hysteria generated on MN by posters who said they were actively suicidal was really horrible. It did no one any good, least of all the OP.

I rescind my well done for apologising...you haven't! Saying you have already apologised only works if you havd actually done it, not made a politician's non-apology apology by terming your sentence "extreme" as if that justifies it.

I also agree the policy is absolutely right.

You haven't apologised, OP.

MNHQ are in a difficult position. Given the Samaritans advise deletion you have a cheek stamping your feet and saying they are wrong.

I agree with mnhq. It's the responsible thing to do.

And you haven't apologised for that sentence, OP.

Didn't see the thread but agree with MNHQ's stance.

I have seen threads like that where obviously well meaning posters have said things like "think of your children" completely oblivious to the fact that sometimes a suicidal person thinks that their suicide IS the best thing for their children. This is very close to my heart.

There will always be support OP but lines need to be drawn where it becomes a "live" thread (sorry for the crass term) for that person's best interest. It's the only responsible thing to do.

I absolutely support MNs stance on this.
They sought advice from professionals, thought long and hard and decided on this.
It isn't callous to direct people to placed they can best get help.
Past threads have been deeply deeply distressing and this is why they designed this policy.
People who know bugger all can do a LOT of damage, even when they may be trying to help.

I've posted before when actively suicidal and whilst in hospital for it and got lots of good help. MN was good for helping me gather my thoughts and having other people who aren't blinded by crippling MH issues saying "get some damn help woman". I even discussed it several times but never methods. The closest it came was saying I felt if I didn't get help I likely would but they still let it stand as it didn't quite cross their boundaries/rules so I do think they police it in the right way and I'm also very aware that no one on here can get you help, they can only virtually hold your hand whilst you do it. I do actually get very cross with people suggesting the Samaritans but that's because if you're seriously unwell they can't do anything for you or access the help you need, that's down to your local crisis team/MH team but people mean well when they suggest it!

MNHQ have invested a lot of time in concluding a policy on this. A deleted thread is not always for a "bad" reason OP.

I can appreciate why you feel the way you do though, and how it might seem.

I hope the lady gets the help she needs and you can feel a bit better yourself. Hugs to all

I didn't see this particular thread but have seen others. And I think the policy is right that the thread should be deleted. And I agree the OP's comment was totally out of order.

You only have to look at any thread seeking help or advice to see that some advice, however wellmeaning, is absolutely wrong. You can also see that some posters bully, shame, mock and berate others for no other reason than their own strange pleasures.

We are not experts. We can listen and give advice if someone is feeling awful but if they are at the point of suicide they need professional help and support. The last thing they need is some well meaning or otherwise person making them feel worse.

What if someone doesn't talk her down? What if they try to help but make it worse? What if they say something that finalises it for her?

People who post here aren't qualified, they don't know what to say. They can't track her IP as they talk to her, they can't send help fast enough.

It's not as simple as saying that if the OP commits suicide, it's because the thread couldn't stand. It could well be that if the thread stands, it'll cause the OP to commit suicide.

Cross posted op-can see you have now apologised which is good. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment.

It's not just about someone having thoughts of suicide. It's the safety of other people too - does the person have children in the house? What are they planning? Could this cause harm to other people?

Trained people will ask these sort of questions and more depending on the service contacted and their training.

there is a long history of discussion about this, and the policy has been implemented after discussion with e.g. the Samaritans and other mh organisations.

It is absolutely not appropriate to allow suicide threads to stand for many reasons.

We cannot be sure that the poster is genuine.

There are many, many other posters on mn with mh issues who may themselves find these types of threads triggering and harmful to their own mental health.

We are none of us professionals in dealing with mh issues, and are not equipped to deal with someone who claims that they are about to commit suicide.

if the poster killed themselves after having posted on mn,
you run the risk that posters who had given support to that poster would feel that they were somehow responsible.

There are multiple other reasons why it is not appropriate for suicide threads to be allowed to stand.

You haven't apologised for the last (but one) sentence. You said it "might be extreme".

No apology that I can see - last part might be extreme certainly isn't one!

Besides the point, this has been discussed before, MNHQ made their decision with the help of external organisations for very good reasons. No one likes to see a person on the verge of suicide but posters could cause more damage than good without realising it.

Agree with others who've said mnhq are absolutely right to have deleted the thread. Really sad the poster is in difficulties but the Samaritans are fantastic and most importantly are trained to deal with people in this sort of situation. Really hope she calls them.

There are also rules for the media regarding the reporting of suicides so as not to set of a spate of copy cats. I don't know if this was part of mnhq's thinking but certainly online media outlets and newspapers have to be really careful.

Your comment about "blood on your hands" op is completely unjustified and I hope you can take a step back and realise how dreadful it is. There is a real person making those thread deletion decisions and if that were me I'd be really upset.

MNHQ's policy on this is spot on and carefully considered. Your email comes across as hysterical.

I agree that MN isn't an appropriate place for support in these circumstances, you have no idea who the people are that are advising you at a time when you need professional help. It can also put too much strain emotionally on those who get involved, if the worst happened then it doesn't bear thinking about how much impact that would have on those who tried to help.

From the linked thread, for clarity, this is Mumsnet's stance:

"So we've spoken to Mind and the Samaritans about this and they both suggest that we continue to allow threads in which users talk about feeling very low and having suicidal thoughts but remove threads that are clear statements of intent ('I am going to kill myself'), suicide notes, 'live' suicide threads. ('I have taken an overdose and am waiting for it to take effect'), or anything that involves a description of methods.

Looking at the this thread, this chimes with what the majority of Mumsnetters want us to do also, so henceforth that's what we'll do.

In cases in which we remove threads, we will post to explain to the OP that we are going to delete it, and signpost the Samaritans; PM the OP (supportively, obviously) to signpost the Samaritans; and explain our actions in the deletion message.

In cases where we leave the thread up (the feeling low threads) we will post links to our mental health webguide and to the Samaritans' online and telephone support.

We know there are some who feel extremely strongly that threads that express suicidal intent should be allowed to stand, and we do understand your reasons, but the consensus was so strong on this one - from both MNers and from experts in the field - that it really did feel there was only one way forward."

Suicidal people need serious and urgent help from trained professionals not well meaning randoms on an Internet forum.

^This. The issue has been debated at length on MN and I believe HQ took advice from professionals before agreeing their stance. I agree with them. Somebody who has taken an overdose needs urgent help from trained professionals. Random MNs - however well meaning - are not qualified to help in this situation and may make things worse.