Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Unflip

1 2

Original poster

A slightly hypothetical question about 'fictional' posters

35 replies

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 14:46

I thought this might be the best topic for this.

What would, or do, you do if you come across a poster you really start to suspect is creating an entirely imaginary persona?

I don't mean people who come on and post goady, inflammatory OPs under a new username, or even those whose situation seems to escalate even within the same thread. I mean posters who maintain a pretty consistent profile across the site - just something about them or their situations makes you think that it is entirely fictional?

Now I'm not naive and have been on here a long time, I know the 99% of MN is probably complete bollocks (though don't get me wrong, there's a huge amount of great and supportive stuff on here) Also of course there's nothing wrong with making up a different life on here. It's certainly not against any rules.

I guess I'm also thinking about a poster who was banned a while ago for creating a fictional life which drew a lot of people in, got them to share some very personal and emotional things, and really hurt a lot of people when it was revealed to be entirely made up.

So if you see a poster, who you just have a gut feeling is making a lot up, and you have a worry that maybe over time - months, years - it is slowly escalating and might turn into that situation again where many, many people have been 'sucked in' (for lack of a better phrase) and then the poster will have a massive drama/event that could upset other posters - what would you do?

Sorry if this hasn't made any sense. I can't really explain it without getting more specific, which certainly wouldn't be fair or right.

OP posts:

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 06/04/2015 22:54

Viviennemary I am always a bit about threads where the OP is in imminent danger. I know that's bad but it's like I can't help it.

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 18:17

People do it all over the internet - and damage other people in the process - so I don't think it should be taken lightly even if they appear to be anodyne. It wouldn't be appropriate to run Trolling 101 on here but I should perhaps add 'at first sight' to that last sentence.

MrsHathaway · 06/04/2015 18:15

I'm this close to reporting a "remarkably busy for a newbie" poster who is posting innocuously enough but is triggering my cynicism.

I've been around too long not to recognise the long game - posting a lot, suddenly, with a few leading details. None triggers a WTF on its own, but together they make a neat story arc towards disaster and crisis.

It's a bit like watching The Bill or Casualty and guessing which person is going to get run over / beaten up / electrocuted and how.

I'm a very fair and generous "let's consider both sides" type in real life, but sometimes you can see fake premature labour / PAIL / DV threads coming a mile off. And they cause true distress to well-meaning people, even those who aren't taken in, so they are absolutely unacceptable.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 06/04/2015 18:09

Unless they were doing something to upset or annoy on the boards I wouldn't Report. Must be a sad life if you need to make up an MN-satisfying alter-ego and feel popular on here.

Viviennemary · 06/04/2015 17:48

I always feel uncomfortable when reading these threads where the poster is in imminent danger and plays out like some sort of James Bond film with posters offering to rescue her. I often don't believe them. Or people saying they're poor and posters offering money and clothes.

Perfectlypurple · 06/04/2015 17:47

I think sometimes threads can seem suspect because of the change of details.

A recent one about the houseguest from hell. Lots of people seemed suspicious, but I think it came across that way as the op changed some details so people were saying well that wouldn't happen in that country etc, when in fact it was details change to avoid identification.

I think the threads where the op does what they are asked when it is an awful, horrific situation are suspect. One in particular just didn't ring true, so many posters were emotionally invested and I wish I had reported at the time.

I don't get involved. I love the funny threads with people chipping in with their stories. Like, funny things kids say. They are harmless and amusing.

FatFromAllTheMassiveEggs · 06/04/2015 17:38

It is really annoying when people post utter bollocks and yet people think they are the dogs bollocks, I admit.

usualsuspect333 · 06/04/2015 16:58

I never get involved in long emotive threads,seen too many novels tried out on MN.

ZeroFunDame · 06/04/2015 16:55

Ah Thurlow I've been having the same thoughts over the last few days (though possibly about different threads).

I'm inclined to report any - worries. When I was new here I used to lie awake at night worrying about posters and write long, crack of dawn posts full of advice and entreaties. Only to find the thread deleted an hour later. Now I have a heart of stone.

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:54

Drank - I think the main problem for HQ is when a lying fantasist doesn't pist goadyfuckery, or gets people to drive and rescue them, or send them pies and a million quid, but 'just' makes stuff up. Exactly that!

Thanks Dawn, I didn't want to step on toes by starting the thread, I was just curious as well what other people do.

OP posts:

MNHQ

DawnMumsnet · 06/04/2015 16:51

Hi Thurlow, hi everyone,

Would you like some MNHQ input here too? We're happy to explain things, even if (under the terms of TSSDNCOP) we may not give you ALL the answers.

Basically, if you suspect something or someone is not genuine, report, report, report. We love reports! And we'll always reply. The more information you can give us, the better, obviously, but even if it's just a 'can you check this one out please', we'll make time to do that.

The internet being what it is, we can't ever really guarantee someone is who they say they are. And it's the same with threads - they may be 100 per cent genuine, or the OP may have changed a few details to avoid being identified - which is perfectly understandable - or, of course, they may be completely made up. A lot of the time, we'll never know.

Our major concern, though, is if they've been started with malicious intent. If somebody is posting about an emotive topic and we suspect they're not on the level, we'll step in pretty quickly - provided it's been reported.

If it's a lighthearted thread with no danger of hurting anybody, we're more likely to turn a blind eye. For a while, at least.

But we only know what's going on if you report. And in answer to your last question, Thurlow, yes, it's absolutely fine to report someone even when they aren't doing anything wrong. Just leave it to us to decide.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 06/04/2015 16:49

Let's face it, half the people always named as MN royalty etc have been outed as complete fantasists, and iirc at least one of those top threads from the past 15 yrs was a fantasist, or banned poster or something.
I think the main problem for HQ is when a lying fantasist doesn't pist goadyfuckery, or gets people to drive and rescue them, or send them pies and a million quid, but 'just' makes stuff up....both IMO are abhorrent, but I'm not sure that Hq can do much about the latter....

I have about 6 on the spreadsheet at the moment, all regular, longterm posters, all IMO, spouting utter tripe.

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:49

I'm not doing it every ten minutes, but I am aware my reasons will probably sound inanely half-assed and they'd be reading the report thinking - wtf?

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 16:44

x post

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 16:44

Your report wouldn't mean they were automatically kiboshed though, Thurlow. I assume you would have some reason for your suspicion (however half-assed that reason was) so all it might do would be to give a 'heads-up' to MNHQ staff so that they could keep a general eye on the poster if needs be.

You might be totally wrong - so be it. As long as you weren't doing it every 10 minutes, I suspect HQ staff would rather know that you were edgy about something than be unwarned and have to deal with the consequences of an explosion later on in the day.

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:40

usual

Sorry to make anyone paranoid! I didn't mean to.

I'll report them and explain - you're right, if things snowball than at least MN might have an eye. I doubt it will - I hope they are not that sort of poster, there's no reason so suspect they are - just that the poster who was dodgy a while ago made me realise how much a long-term troll can really hurt people by getting them to buy into a whole life story.

OP posts:

FatFromAllTheMassiveEggs · 06/04/2015 16:36

Am slightly paranoid this is me now. As something happened to me yesterday that really tied in with the theme of a thread and I worried people wouldn't believe it.

usualsuspect333 · 06/04/2015 16:29

They won't know you have reported them though. MNHQ will keep an eye if you report and say 'I think this poster is dodgy'

I want to know who you mean

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:24

The reason I asked rather than just reported is that in all honesty, the poster hasn't done a thing wrong. It's not like when you (sadly) read a thread on an emotive topic and think - yeah, right. So it kind of seemed wrong to report someone if they haven't said anything that might upset someone. Like you say, usual, they can't do anything about a determined troll and they certainly can't do anything about someone who hasn't done anything wrong.

I suppose this is just the first time that I remember where a particular name has registered for me, rather than simply a thread that seems suspect.

And is it fair to report someone when they aren't really doing anything wrong?

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 06/04/2015 15:38

Report your concerns & suspicions to MNHQ so they can investigate & maybe keep an eye on them.

Personally, if I felt this way about a poster I wouldn't engage with them on MN at all, and wouldn't post on any of their threads.

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:33

Personally, I wouldn't Carbe - but I might well include the thought in any report to MN.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 06/04/2015 15:31

We did have one where most of her threads got deleted but many, bizarrely are still standing. Mnhq sorted it out. It is trolling especially if you make up a story with an emotive topic (the one I got sucked in on was premature birth) on purpose as it's not fair on those of us that are genuinely using those boards for advice and support. Still I'd rather be occasionally sucked in on the chance I could be helping out others, including lurkers, with my response

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:31

It's a difficult one, Cross. Some people genuinely lead lives that would leave many of us gobsmacked. Some people up the drama a bit, some people up the drama a lot - and some people plain invent. You can't always tell on many boards what the facts might be.

I think that the best you can do is to approach threads honestly if you're minded to respond. No-one who does that can be held wrong in my view - even if the poster who started things is conniving or deeply misguided.

Coconutty · 06/04/2015 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarbeDiem · 06/04/2015 15:24

I'd report it to MNHQ but a question for all on thread, if I may - if you could see that 1 or 2 posters appeared to be drawn in too far would you PM them to say something?
I'm not sure if I would, I think I'd want to. I wouldn't say anything on thread.
I'm so gullible quite crap at spotting stuff like this anyway so probably not a situation I'll find myself in. Just curious.

Unflip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread