"MI5 should recruit from Mumsnet..."

Trench coat-check.
Watched every episode of The Man From UNCLE. Check ( Ergo invisible gimmer.)
Interrogation technique-can make 20 something ds quiver like a jelly.
My bag is packed. (It does come with Austin Powers style "pad" doesn't it?

I could kill a person with my bare hands (never actually tried it, though...) and with my legs, thanks to Israeli's defense techniques. I am deceptively light and fragile.
Can hide in tight spots.
Usually manage to scrape through when everyone else is suffering from diarrhea and gastritis in foreign countries.
I have contacts in the Middle East, including Iran, Pakistan and Sudan, and Israel.
Feel comfortable travelling alone.
Love to drive fast.
I'm already used to bad period pain.
Have secretly sneaked samples through customs or convinced customs to let me go through with them
and a sharp pin through Jordan airport security (by mistake)

Waits by phone...

I could be a double agent in a foreign country.

I think this is brilliant. I fancy a career change so if the hours are flexible and the salary is ok then i'm in!

And closertogiftythantwenty neither confirm not deny is just such a naff thing to do. I mean that by doing this you have already given away that there is underlying sensitive information there. Might as well say yes! Or flatly deny it and lie all the way. Only a man could have come up with that one

Just listening to the Geoff Lloyd show on Absolute Radio and they're discussing this story. His take is that given how MN has a reputation for eviscerating politicians and other naive fools who wander in for an "easy ride" webchat, we'd be excellent at waterboarding.

DS2 (10) has been head of a spy ring for some years now. He has a laboratory full of spies (100 or so) under the garden which he visits at night through a secret tunnel under his bed. This career choice involves lots of surreptitious telephone calls to class mates which I have unfortunately overheard.

I think we'd make better negatiators or peacekeepers. After all when all three dc are around I have an awful lot of practice doing that.

Count me in. I'm a pro on the Agent Alice app. Plus I often wear a Mac, beret and dark glasses so have the look down pat already.

I could run at a slow pace in heels but couldn't be doing with any high or karate type kicks as a result of my pelvic floor after kids.

I am a bit clumsy though so may need to work on the being inconspicuous angle.

Am I in?

Jlsi iwwv slicci kdnown fuljbe.

V fi coenaze cfo drhr woalww. C vioiudnnawqpqplc.

Finally, I've found my calling!
I'd be perfect.

I'm excellent at stalking people on Facebook. I always work out who dunnit in films way before DH does. I can tell if someone is dodgy just by looking at them and I could do a great job of torturing people with my singing if I need to force a confession.

I'll take the job on the condition that it's 9-3pm and term-time only.

on a serious note there are things going on down the Kilburn HIgh Road that really should be looked into ….and a woman with a double buggy can go up and ask ………..I know I do…..so thats blown my cover

We share some of the language already apparently

www.spymuseum.org/education-programs/news-books-briefings/language-of-espionage/

examples:

Babysitter (as in rare commodity)
Batman (as in toy)
Nugget (as in chicken)
Nursemaid ( as in wife)
Escort (as in "my husband has run off with ...)

If all of us got mi5 would have to open a crèche .. Now that's a thought!

Well considering I manage to contribute to a large number of threads un-noticed, I think I would make a brilliant spy

and me,,, im over 55 , no one notices women our age ( not sour grapes am happily wed)

Ha ha ha - I actually applied. didn't get past the vetting stage. Now I work as a teacher. Ha ha ha ha.

You ain't seen me, right?

Well, look at how fast we called out that weird Virgin Son thread's OP. We knew something was fishy just from one post.

Actually I am pretty sure this was said before - that middle aged women would make good spies. Or else I thought it in an effort to feel better about my invisibility. It does make sense really. Except it might make middle-aged women less safe in foreign hot spots? as everyone will suspect them as spies. Gad, it's a minefield.

Oi! Speak for yourself avoiretre

Applying for an overseas post, as currently invisible at least to the fecking speeding car as I was crossing the road earlier today and already overseas so no relocation required.

I've never seen anything so absurd in all my life. Maybe they think they can be "honey trap" spies? Yes, that would work...(not!).

Oh hells yes count me into this! I've been told I'm a pro at finding stuff and I look so inconspicuous, they'd never see me coming!

Whistles: dun, dun, duuuun dun, dun, dun, duuuun dun