The lady whose waters broke at 18 weeks ...

I watched that last night and thought of that thread so, so sorry for Ollie's mum and dad.

bruffin
Maybe MNHQ should try and contact the mother on OBEM directly to see if she was the poster ie through the programme makers rather than an email to was registered on MN.

No. I get where you're coming from but an " excuse me, I saw you suffered a tragic bereavement and just wondered if you could confirm whether you'd posted about the circumstances on MN?" just can't be worded right. If it wasn't her then omg what an awful message to receive and if it was her, the message to the mn-registered email would work.

I think we accept MN got it wrong (for understandable reasons) and not read anything more into it.

Truth is often stranger than fiction. I was wondering out loud why she was flagged up as a banned poster. Maybe MNHQ should try and contact the mother on OBEM directly to see if she was the poster ie through the programme makers rather than an email to was registered on MN.

I don't think speculation like this is helpful to be honest (especially speculation seeking to prove that nobbly was some sort of acquaintance retelling a true story): don't you realise how unlikely it all is?

When we looked into nobblybobbly19, our back end systems flagged a connection to previously banned posters

Could it be that the troll was working in the same hospital, therefore using the same wifi/router which is why it was flagged up or that troll worked in the hospital picked up on the story and posted it as if it was happening to themselves.

Thank you Rowan, an honest and dignified response.

There was clearly a terrible cock up this time, but no system is perfect and MN did what they thought was right at the time.

I truly hope that MN heard nothing from OP because she chose not to keep posting, her full attention being given to her son.

Very tragic, very sad.

poor young girl and the father. this has really bought a tear to my hardened eyes after watching the episode last night. What happened to them was awful and if it had hapenned to me I think MN would have been the first place I would have looked for support. To think they just pulled a thread with possibly one curt email that she may not even ever have read with all that was going on, how sad. I agree the ultimate fault lies with the self-centered narcissistic weird trolls that have been making up BS about premature and dead babies in the whole 10 + years I have been on MN and had children. Despite that it's been a great help throughout my pregnancy, birth and young children years. To think this poor girl was denied that is heart breaking. I really hope MN reviews their troll detecting policies as a result of this.

Think I'd rather have to wade through the idiotic trolls, which lets face it most people can see through these days, if it means that genuine people aren't turned away. Surely there's a better way to check? With hospitals?

Oh god. Poor poor nobbly and her partner

Have never watched OBEM.

Just watched that episode now. What a gorgeous little boy Ollie was. My heart goes out to you nobbly.

Poor Nobbly :(

allstopped good post.

Oh no. Whilst I'm almost relieved to see nobbly vindicated, I'm so, so sad that this happened and feel very angry at all of the actual people out there trolling boards intended for information and support.

Although MN made an error in this case I can appreciate their reasoning for doing so and the fault really lies with the people who do post disingenuously and plant that seed of mistrust in other posters and admin alike.

I think a donation in memory of Ollie James, this case, would be very appropriate and I would hope that any contact Nobbly receives from MN does not serve to cause her further upset.

Both her and her partner came across so mature, dignified and postive in both her OP and on OBEM and my thoughts really are with them all.

*blood run cold!!!

Jesus.

As a mother to a stillborn baby and a premature baby this has made my bloody run cold.

Thanks for the apology MNHQ but I am so angry at you guys for fucking this up. I think you owe the op more than a verbal apology.

Poor poor parents.

And yes, it's just awful that attention-seeking trolls cause things like this to happen. They have it on their conscience. Horrible, horrible people.

Thanks, Rowan.

This is going to sound really weird in such tragic circumstances, but this has kind of restored my faith in humanity somewhat.

Nobbly, if you ever read this, I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely little boy .

I think a donation is a brilliant idea. It's so difficult to make the decision to delete a thread like this but think it does need highlighting that poor nobbly was genuine and let down by us Because of so many horrible people making things up for attention , may be that will show the trolls that what they do for 'fun' has now affected someone when they were at their most vulnerable

Blame "MultipleMama". Her banning happened around the same time, IIRC, and she'd been trolling MN with increasingly outlandish tales of back-to-back multiple pregnancies/premature births for years. The narrative of the thread that lead to her lies being uncovered was heading for a premature baby death as well. I for one had been sucked in by her (with hindsight you could see it was BS) so I do remember the unrest at that time.

Doesn't excuse what happened to Nobbly, of course. Clearly she had - and still has - bigger things to deal with. I like the idea of MNHQ offering to donate to a charity of Nobbly's choice, if she even responds to them.

Poor nobblybobbly .
I hope she found support elsewhere.

Thank you for admitting fault, although I'm not to sure how or what could make this up to nobbly :( this may be a good time to issue a thread explaining what the effects of jumping to conclusions on these forums can lead to, and that just because a thread has been pulled there is no need for mumsnetters to then start another thread about it calling her the names that we did and insuating that she is anyway shape or form attention seeking and mentally unstable. I am in no way saying that I did not feel like this when we all heard it was a 'troll' just that we should use this as a lesson and try not to let it happen again. I really hope that she never saw this thread and that they are coping as well as a couple can that have lost a baby :( rip Ollie James

Thanks Rowan.

I had major surgery a few years ago, and had to learn to walk again, control my bladder, everything...it was an ordeal.

A friend turned up after three weeks of not visiting and said she'd kept up to date by reading my online updates. I was baffled. Turns out, the lady in the bed next to me had started diarising what was happening. She could hear all the conversations when doctors came to talk to me, she could see me doing physio, and she got "extra" detail on how I was feeling by talking to me (as you do with the person in long-term hospital next to you).

She was sad that I found out, but said it started as something to do, and then the support she got kept her distracted from what she was going through herself. She even tried to twist it into being something I could read through and use as a memoir, or for support.

MNHQ may have seen that the poster had the same IP address as someone else, or was posting about a different scenario as a namechange...There must have been something to make them think that she had set out to deceive. That's not an easy conclusion to reach.

MMHQ do make mistakes though, I know two instances where threads were deleted that were absolutely above board.

I hope this isn't the case here, as that it would be terribly sad to imagine someone having that support pulled at the time they needed it most.