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Original poster

Alcoholics on mumsnet

35 replies

Alfiepants · 01/12/2014 22:32

Hi I just posted under general health about this. There is no distinct category for people who may be thinking about or seeking support for stopping drinking or going to AA. Surprising given how much of a problem there is and I think there would be demand for it... There's a wine thread so only seems fair ;)

OP posts:
TeapotDictator · 03/12/2014 08:12

I'm a poster to the Dry thread. I think it's a great idea, particularly if it can be couched in a way which is not off-putting. The very concept of stopping drinking is shrouded in such negativity - it's the only drug out there that you have to actually justify why you might want to STOP taking it. To admit to wanting to stop seems like an admission of being an out of control lunatic, and I think this black and white belief stops many problem drinkers being able to face stopping.

I believe it should be considered more normal to be a non-drinker, rather than to be regarded as something of a curiosity; a person with a 'back story'. Anything MN can do to facilitate people stopping should be encouraged in my opinion. (And I think it's hard to find the Dry and Babes threads; it's by no means logical that they fall under the Relationships umbrella.)

Original poster
Alfiepants · 02/12/2014 19:22

Yes I think a category would help people feel they have a safe place to share. The whole issue for people who are unable to moderate their drinking is that booze is such a socially acceptable part of everyday life that it's hard to talk about any problem you may have with people who aren't looking for help.
It doesn't have to be named alcoholism and I imagine there would be people who want to try and moderate as well as those in a programme of recovery whatever that may be. I find it really hard to get to meetings as a full time working mum and it would be enormously helpful to chat to mums in the same boat.
I can't get away from booze in reality so it doesn't matter that it's no different here! Just that there is a space for people. It's no different to eating disorders, stopping smoking, menopause and crikey Ebola!

And yes the wine thread is under Feed the world. Grin

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 02/12/2014 19:13

Do you mean the wine topic? Because that seems a bit of a backwater to me.

If you mean the Friday Night thread, isn't that a NN for a quiche?

tribpot · 02/12/2014 17:35

Mumsnet I think has helped a lot of problem drinkers over the years, to face their fears, to accept their problem. But many of them, when they first posted, would have been horrified to think of themselves as alcoholics. Part of the recovery is to accept that label and not be ashamed of it - I'm not - but you don't start from there.

You say a perceived taboo would stop mumsnet from creating a place for people to post - do you think there currently isn't a place for people to post? I'm not sure what a category means to posters, would it be easier for new posters to find 'their people' if we had a category? (I think probably yes is the answer).

I've never even seen this wine thread, where is it? A category wouldn't stop people being bombarded with references to booze on other threads, though.

Original poster
Alfiepants · 02/12/2014 14:34

It's a shame that a perceived taboo would stop mumsnet from creating a place for people to post. There is a site called soberistas which has created a forum of this sort and there is clearly demand for it. If people feel uncomfortable with it they don't have to post do they? It doesn't have to be called alcoholics, could be problem drinkers. This is such a massive issue and only highlights the problem that there a) isn't a place and b) there's a wine thread!!!
Wine o clock is all well and good but what started out innocently enough became a problem for me coupled with PND and other external stress.

OP posts:
MNHQ
YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 02/12/2014 12:11

Hi Alfiepants,
Thanks for this suggestion, we are interested in all ideas to improve the site. Let's see how this discussion plays out - what does everyone think?

Farahilda · 02/12/2014 06:22

Presumably the posters on BB and Dry would get to chose whether their threads moved?

I don't think anyone should make them move from the part of MN they chose for its relative anonymity to a new section they did not request.

TarquinMoriartyGruntfuttockII · 02/12/2014 06:05

I seem to remember that discussion happening when Babes first started Tribot and the consensus then was as you surmised that they would find it too intimidating.

tribpot · 02/12/2014 05:50

Actually I think a lot of people would find it too intimidating to post in a category specifically called Alcoholics, or even "Problem Drinkers" (or addicts, since people don't solely post about alcohol addiction). It's a very scary thing to admit and some (many?) may prefer the relatively comfort of general health?

Equally it might make finding threads like the Babes and DRY easier to do, I'd be interested to hear what their posters thought.

TarquinMoriartyGruntfuttockII · 02/12/2014 05:20

There is the wonderful Brave Babes support threads in Relationships.