What did you learn from giving birth? - Your help needed

Cheers Bossykate and SamACon, maybe we should start a campaign to sort Tommy's out! Also, that even though you kind of know every mother thinks her baby is the most gorgeous in the whole wide world, yours really is!

willow2, had the tear and the episiotomy with DS1 - tear was no prob (was a bad one), episiotomy took almost 2 years to be pain free.
Told the poor midwife with DS2 that I'd sue her if she came near me with a pair of scissors unless it was a matter of life and death! Amazing how you can be so forceful and bolshie in labour!!

THAT I AM INFACT MUCH STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT
THAT DH IS ALSO STRONGER THAN HE THOUGHT, HE WAS A BIT AFRAID OF BEING AT HE BIRTH TO START WITH, BUT HE HAS GIVEN ME TREMENDOUS HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT, WHEN AND HOW I NEEDED IT, EVEN TAKING CHARGE OF THE TENS MACHINE CONTROLS, AND HE COULD TELL FROM MY FACE WHEN THE NEXT CONTRACTION WAS ANBOUT TO ARRIVE AND TURN IT UP ACCORDINGLY....
THAT YOU BEHAVE LIKE AN ANIMAL, JUST FOLLOWING WHAT YOUR BODY TELLS YOU TO DO, AND IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE (PAIN ASIDE)!!

soupdragon - very true, also that a car carrying a labouring woman will automatically find every pothole and bump in the road...

That putting speed bumps on the approach to the entrance to the maternity suite is cruel and evil.

I learned that although loads of people told me how painful labour and delivery would be, no-one told me how much it would continue to hurt afterwards.....

Agree re NHS, Freddiecat.

Sorry that some people had bad experiences but...

... sometimes the care you get on the NHS can be top notch. I had 2 midwives at DS's birth because one stayed 1.5 hours after the end of her shift (9pm on a Saturday night) because she wanted to see my baby! I had not met her before either.

And related - if you are really nice and friendly to all the staff in the hospital and DON'T have any preconceived ideas about your rights etc. then you will be treated very well indeed. They are all people underpressure who are trying to do their jobs at the end of the day. Shocking the treatment some people get tho.

Also - if you are worried about your baby having slightly wonky eyes you probably won't ask the doctor about it if the doctor's eyes are the wonkiest you have ever seen!

Lastly - the portion sizes of meals in hospital are not enough to sustain a pregnant/breastfeeding woman.

message withdrawn

I learned that:

1. Weeing on a total stranger is not such a big deal.
2. My dh must really love me (I presume that was what his 3 hours solid crying was about when ds and I got into trouble during 2nd stage)
3. That my body (not in great shape and missing some internal organs due to childhood illness) could do something truly amazing.

That despite being a die-hard earthmother prior to the birth (vowing I'd not touch epidurals or the like) essential oils and visualising beautiful waves and sunsets just don't cut it when you've got a baby lying posterior!!

Evansmum - had to take DD back to St T's for blood test when 1 week old, it cost me £10 for parking and congestion charge. Results were inconlusive (ie they messed it up) so had to do it again the following week! Having said that I had all 3 of mine there so reasonably happy with birth there. I learnt from other peoples births not to go to MayDay or St Georges!!

That when contractions are in full swing in the middle of the night and your waters have broken, it's really not possible to follow the midwife's advice of going back to bed for a few more hour's sleep.

That the ride to the hospital is the most uncomfortable of your life - thank heavens it was 6am on a bank holiday Monday.

That after 6 hours of intense contractions (baby posterior) the midwife may announce that you are not in labour yet.

That just because your sister has had three quick and straightforward births, it doesn't mean yours will be to.

That DH looks good in scrubs.

I felt cheated and that I didn't really give birth at all when after 24 hours of labour and an epidural in place I was given a general anaesthetic and a caesarian section because I 'Failed to Progress'.

My feelings are very similar to Zerub's about the whole experience.

That when your waters have broken, the fluid just keeps coming so it's a very good idea to put a raincoat on the seat of the car so it doesn't get soaked on the way to the hospital. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to do this!

Lara2 - take my advice, have the episiotomy.

That life is a miracle..
That I have more strength and courage that I ever thought I did..
That, telling myself I could give birth without any help for 9 months resulted in just that!

and, after reading some of the messages below, that only understanding, compassionate mothers should be allowed the privelidge of becoming midwives.

that the ritual oiling of my perinium every night was well worth it, as with both labours not a single stitch in sight!!!

That maybe it would have been a good idea if we had gone on the hospital tour of the labour ward, because when we walked into the delivery suite at 12.05 my gorgeous boyfriend said "this is nicer than a hotel room" i was not amused i as was in agony (already 9 cms dilated) but all was well when our daughter was born at 12.20!!

That I really don't like pain.... If I could have died in the last 20 minutes before baby was born, I would have happily done so rather than carry on with it... I had a rough transition!

That the first time you get out of bed after having the baby, you feel as though your insides have hit the floor!!

That Miriam Stoppard was lying through her teeth when she said that the nreves in the perinium go numb when the head crowns.

That I'd rather tear to my neck than have an episiotomy any day.

That carpet on the floor between the delivery room and the bathroom gets ruined when you bleed on it .... must have been a man who designed that one!!!

Eeek that is a brilliant piece of advice

Make sure to have a poo before going into labour.

evansmum, you must live quite near where i do. i do think that is one of the big problems in central/inner london - they just can't get/keep the staff due to the high cost of living. agree with you the cost of parking at st. t's is robbery.

That giving birth can take a really long time - like four days of contractions every five minutes before second stage even began - then just when i thought it would all be over in half an hour or so, the midwife really was serious when she said she would review me in three hours (and the next two times she said it too).

That all the plans you made before the birth to make sure your life stays the same(like going on that skiing holiday next year and leaving the baby with Mum)suddenly seem really really stupid, because you actually both love the baby and want to be with her when you get holidays.