Y8-2023/2024

Here we are, nearly at the end of the year! How is everyone doing?

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind since last week, as the 'mean' girl on the bus has had a change of heart and apologised to my DD. The best thing is that it was managed in a very mature way by the girls: mean girl's friends drifted away, and another girl took it upon herself to explain to mean girl how she had been making my DD feel for months.

This is the last week for us, and DD is currently away on a residential trip. I hope everyone's DCs have restful summers and go into Y8 positively.

@usernamebore Congrats!! 13+ works if all children starts at that age otherwise friendship groups been established from Year 7 and DC needs to start selecting GCSEs subjects plus new school and clubs. If 13+ have a large enough cohort that is fine but if only a few it would be quite daunting.

We are doing a lot better - no tears or meltdowns before school for a few months now, and he has dealt really well with school trips and the exam week they just had. He wears ear defenders in school as it seems he has some sensory issues and has said it helps him. Still struggles with anxiety but a lot better than we were. School currently still seeming willing to make "reasonable adjustments" which work (I walk him to the school gate and he goes to nurse at start of day before form time to get settled, calls me for 5min at lunchtime, sits and reads with receptionist or nurse at break or lunchtime if feeling overwhelmed, misses games afternoon once a week to see therapist) and he is making friends with some other quirky kids. My gut is September will be challenging due to all the changes of a new year, but by Spring we should be in a good space again. He is still a long way from him peers, but is slowly gaining in confidence, and doing really well academically. In hindsight I think he would have benefited from being in a school that went to 13 and switching at the start of Year 9. Going into a massive secondary with sixth form (1400 kids) after being in a tiny (40 kids in the whole school) primary at age 11 was just too much for him, particularly as a summer baby young for his year.

@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket my daughter is autistic and secondary has definitely amplified some of her difficulties. I think it's really common at this sort of age for undiagnosed girls to start showing up. It's tricky though isn't it to work out if it's hormones, a new environment, or something more.

@CouldNotStayAway hope your son isn't too stressed. Exams here after half term too, there's been a bit of revision going on in lessons I think but none at home. I'm going to gently encourage a bit over half term. I really want her to learn revision skills so GCSEs aren't a complete nightmare.

@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket I hear you re:year 7 nearly over, how fast has this academic year gone!
Hope your dd has a much happier year 8, I really don't understand the 'mean' attitude some children show.

DS has mentioned how friendship groups have changed, but it's difficult to tell with his blasé attitude what's been going on exactly.

Hope all other dcs are doing well. DS has end of year exams straight after half term, and for the first time he's actually seriously studying and stressed (I don't like the stressed part but am surprised at the self motivation )

Thank you so much @MaitreKarlsson for asking and I'm really pleased for you that your DD is more settled now, that must be such a relief.

@ISaySteadyOn that sounds like you've made the best decision for your DD and it's great to hear that she's happier now. It must have been a tricky time for you and I hope all goes well in the future.

We're still having lots of ups and downs with DD. She has made a couple of friends but also had some issues with another girl being unkind to her which hasn't helped at all.

But ultimately we think it's been the general transition to secondary school which she has struggled with, and it's highlighted certain behaviours which is making us suspect she may have undiagnosed ASD.

She's not been as adamant about leaving this school though, in the way she was at the beginning, so we're trying to see that as a positive.

It's so difficult to know if we've made the right decision with this school for her, and if things would have been different elsewhere. I suspect not, given her issues, but there's always that unknown.

In saying this, I can't believe we're in May and the end of year 7 is looming already

@ISaySteadyOn I'm glad she's much happier. It's so difficult to know what to do isn't it - that sounds like it was definitely the right thing!
@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket how is your DD doing?
Nice to see everyone's updates. Mine is much happier too. (Sun and more PE possibly helps!)

@ISaySteadyOn that's really good to hear 😊

Hope everyone else is doing well, and dc are doing well :)

It's definitely been the right decision. Her whole zest for life and engagement with the world has zoomed right back up.

Nice to see an update on this thread (am the OP-deleted my account but couldn't stay away 😂)

I did write a whole reply, not sure where it's gone, hopefully I don't end up posting twice!

@LetItGoToRuin good to hear your dd is doing well. Hope she's feeling much better in herself too.
DS can't wait to drop 2 languages, but he's got a while yet until gcse choices.
Ah yes, end of year exams soon here too, he's even said he may need to study more during the half term (I am shocked to hear that!)

@ISaySteadyOn really sorry to read about your dd. Sounds like you've got this though, and hopefully she'll be back to her happy self and maybe even try school again later on. I home educated my DS the whole of primary (still have a dc that I'm home Ed), and miss that journey with DS 😂
Hope it does all go well for you and your dd ❤️

Let's see if this one posts before I give up 😂

We're keeping an open mind and will look out for other schools. However, I think for now, until she fully regains the colour in her cheeks, she will be at home. Now I have to remind myself that she doesn't go to that school anymore so the emails about her progress reports from their HW system are their admin not catching up with the fact that she doesn't even go there and I don't need to pay attention to them.

Oh my goodness, @ISaySteadyOn - what a stressful time for you all! If she is so much better in herself already, it was clearly the right decision, so well done to you for doing what's best for her. I hope you find the best way forward from here on.

I'm really sorry to hear that @ISaySteadyOn. Are you looking for another school or planning on home educating for a while? I'm glad taking her out seems to be working though, sounds like it was the right decision.

Badly, I am afraid. We've had to withdraw her, she's been so utterly miserable. She's perked up immensely since we made that decision though. She is more helpful, more cheerful, and eating better so that's good.

Glad things are going ok @LetItGoToRuin. I can't believe it's the summer term already. My DD is doing ok, settling in with friendships and stuff. It's incredibly how much she's matured since September. I thought we'd have a lot more issues with transition than have actually happened so I'm feeling positive. I feel like she's gone from being nervous and not massively happy to it just being school. Not always amazing, but never truly terrible. Which I think sounds about right tbh, at the end of the day it's still school!

It’s been a while since anyone posted on here. I hope no news is good news?

The year is flying by – it’s only a few weeks until DD sits end of year exams (whatever they will look like) and then they’ll be looking ahead to Y8!

DD was unwell right at the end of the Easter holidays but dragged herself in for the first morning of the new term (none of us wanted the school to assume we’d extended our holiday into term time!) but she gave up and went to the medical room at morning break. Felt a bit guilty!

Other than that, she’s ticking along reasonably well. All seems ok academically so far, though we’ll find out at the first parents’ evening in a couple of weeks. Still a few friendship wobbles, this time with her bus buddies: she feels bottom of the pecking order and largely ignored. There’s been no active meanness, so just one to watch and support her with.

@cortisolqueen I keep meaning to ask whether things have settled down for your DS with that girl. I really hope he’s having a better time at school now.

@SweetsAndChocolates wow, three languages in Y7! My DD is at a state grammar and they are only doing one language at this stage!

How’s everyone else getting on?

Mine gets the school bus - they park just infront of the school and are clearly numbered although he said the first couple of days there were staff on hand after school in case any help needed.

Homework - gets a fair bit but nothing too onerous. He's lazy and disorganised so needs a lot of prompting but it all gets done one way or another! He sits at the dining room table to do it and usually has half hour down time after getting home and then does it.

Doesn't sit down for lunch - they have 3x25 mins breaks so no time for a sit down meal. He takes some snacks/packed lunch and then if the queue isn't too long will grab something from the canteen too.

Bought uniform in July and shoes late Aug as he's prone to growth spurts :-)

Thanks for taking the time to respond, good to know we have time for the uniform.

Is your DC going to have friends from primary when they move up?

She is the only student from her school going to this particular secondary. There is scholars bus on our street for it, so presume there are local children from other schools going there.

Oh and we bought uniform quite late as it was a waiting list place so I can't help with that. When to buy it depends on how much of it is generic and how much is from a specific uniform shop. Ours is an online uniform shop and they advise you to get it early, but actually we ordered mid August and it arrived in plenty of time.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz will try and answer your questions. My DD is on regular buses, not school ones, so no involvement from the school there. I did a practice run with her but it's a super easy bus journey. She also catches the bus with a few others from her primary who are at the same school. It's been a bit of a learning curve when roadworks and the like make everything late. My DD chooses to get to school half an hour early rather than risk being late. If the buses are really up the spout they don't get in trouble if they are late thankfully.

Homework is very variable across schools. Her school has been fine, nothing that takes too long and she doesn't get it every lesson. There's been one of two occasions where she's let it build up. But generally she manages it well herself. I don't make her do it the minute she gets in. She benefits from having a break and then getting to it. Or she does it at the weekend as it's often not due until the next week.

Lunchtimes are very short in her school so there's really only time to queue for food and eat it. Is your DC going to have friends from primary when they move up? I found lunchtime the primary groups tended to reconfigure at first. Then that gradually changes as they make different friends in their forms.

@cortisolqueen I hope things are ok now school have intervened. What a nightmare.

Also! When did you buy uniform?

My eldest is off to secondary in September and wonder if you guys who've just been through it can ease my mind a tad.

How did your dc find it travelling on the scholars busses? Do school help them know which to get home etc?

How has homework been? Is there much? Do you make them do it as soon as they get in? Where do they do it?

How did they find lunchtimes the first couple of weeks? Are they supported a smidge in where to sit etc or is it a free for all?

Thanks @ElvenDreamer & @SweetsAndChocolates - apparently staff have spoken to the girl, she and DC have apologised to each other & we're all hoping that that will be an end to it.

Fingers crossed 🤞