Geeks at secondary school

My 'geek' DS at a not-so-bog-standard (pretty middle-class area) comp. is just about to complete a wonderful year 7 (August child too). He found a circle of like-minded boys who go around in their little bubble of fun, talking computers, robots, maths puzzles etc. We're sure the school made a point of putting like-minded children together (they set all subjects). It helped that he was selected for the chess club too (you earn points for your house). He too had the odd problem with pushing and shoving and name-calling in the corridor but a) the school sits very hard on this and b) he was with his mates so unlike primary (which was horrible), he shrugged it off.

p.s. when he mentioned being worried about being called a geek when he first met his HT the delightful creature said the word is banned at the school (not true, of course). The point she was making was that you shouldn't fall into the trap of labelling yourself.

p.p.s. I second the point about not being too obscure in one's tastes. We encourage him to be up on football, cars and whatever he fancies that is more mainstream.

Citrus81: good luck to your little one. I too was petrified on my LO's behalf.

Citrus, sounds like the boys were laughing at your ds's excellent comeback, not against him..?

I imagine a lone geek will struggle in a lot of places but if there's a small quorum of them they will thrive in most schools.

DS1 who is just finishing Year 7 has a theory that the boys in his year fit into 3 groups

1 The sporty ones (doesn't matter if they're academic or not)

2 The ones that are okay but sometimes do weird things like shout out in strange voices

3 The geeks and those who like Doctor Who

He reckons that nobody (including Group 3!) have any problems settling in as long as they don't act like they think they're better than anyone else.

I think it helps geeks if they can find a club or activity at their school where other like minded geeks will gather. eg music does it for some , chess for others. Worth encouring geeks to go with their real interest, I have found. I agree it can be hard in years 7 and 8 as they can be finding their feet for quite a while. Its a big step forward when they go with their interests and realise it doesn't matter what their 'cool' class- peers think, in experience of my DD at our comprehensive.

I hope your school offers a good range of extra-curricular stuff as I think that can help a lot.

Sorry didn't mean to moan but had a massive row this morning with DD over breakfast or rather her lack of it. I just wish girls could relax and surrender to their inner geek and not worry about being perfect in every tiny detail.

sue52 - that is really shocking! I've heard similar things about a few of the top girls' schools. I'd run a mile tbh. Fortunately I have boys.

It is a massive strain Gramercy. The competition with each other extends to diet and I'm sure a lot of students at DDs school are anorexic.

I'm glad I'm not a teenage girl these days (just as well).

Dh's nieces are at an all-girls school and are thoroughly obsessed with appearance. The "Princesses" (cool crowd) all have spray tans, are clad head to toe in Jack Wills and are all destined for 12 A* GCSEs. The strain of all that must be massive.

At DDs grammar school it is cool to be a geek as long as you don't dress like one. To be cool there you have to have straight As, be no larger than a size 6 and really up on fashion. I favour the old fashioned variety of geek, but it seems times have changed.

My geek is just about to finish Year 7 at a comprehensive school. He has loved it! Best of all he found his soulmate in his tutor group and they have spent all year being geeks together!

I think a school worth its salt does try to put like-minded children together.

Depends on the school. DS & his mates massively competetive about how many A* they get, but they're at a grammar so ppl much more likely to be looked down on if they're thick.

Your ds sounds lovely btw. Hope he enjoys his new school.

The mantra is 'The Geek shall inherit the earth' or at least set up a hugely profitable company and support his mum when older (Bill Gates etc).

I agree with muddleduck completely:

"IME the 'geeks who are happy to be geeks' tend to be fine, but the 'geeks who want to be cool' can have a reaaly awful time. "

It does depend too a bit on the school. If the school really celebrates achievement and it's cool to be clever, then that helps a lot too. ds1 is uber-geek, and is having a whale of a time at secondary. He's now at the end of yr8. There was a bit of a blip in yr7 with a group of lads, but school sorted it when we chatted with them.

You are right that yr9+ is easier for eccentric/unusual characters, but if they have the confidence and high self-esteem and a positive school atmosphere, they can carry it off in the lower years too.

agree, geeks need to be confident in themselves, then they should be OK. Don't try and be something you're not.

Apparently DD1 is a bit of a legend in her school as "she's really brainy, but she'll still talk to you like a normal person" She did terrify some Y7s though by "talking maths" in the library to a friend. DD2 was asked "does she talk like that at home as well?"

I'd've thought geek was getting more cool with this last Dr Who series (wouldn't recommend a bow tie to school though)

My geeky son is also much happier at secondary than primary. His school is big enough that he can find like minded friends, hang around the computer lab or library at lunchtimes, and go to Science club.

He even has a teacher who is proud to be a geek (and is kinda cool too).

I meant the geeks who try desparately hard to be part of the 'cool gang' but never quite fit it.

x posted wiht Muddleduck - how do you mean "geeks who try to be cool" - as in "down with the posse but not getting it right", or as I said below, having an idea of what the rest of them are into?

my geek was much happier in secondary than primary - it's much bigger, there are more like-minded people, and it's easier to ignore those who you don't get on with.

IME it does help to at least try to fit in a bit - having some idea of stuff everyone else is into - DD1 read the Twilight books so that she could join in lunchtime conversations for example, even though her usual bedtime reading is stuff on chaos theory.

IME the 'geeks who are happy to be geeks' tend to be fine, but the 'geeks who want to be cool' can have a reaaly awful time.

Good grief yes. I am not entirely sure DS is mine

"geeks inhabit a parallel universe " they do don't they.

Sounds like my DS - now coming to end of Y9. A little bit tricky to begin with whilst the pecking order was established and the rugby A team are naturally at the top of the pecking order but the geeks inhabit a parallel universe where they are generally left alone until some particularly tricky maths or chemistry homework is set.

sorry x post

Depends on the school I suppose. My geek is fine in the local comp.