Child care for 12 yr old?

Agree with other posters, that IME the transition to senior school can be very hardwork, and my current Y7 is very needy emotionally, as indeed were 2 of his older sisters.

One night a week would probably be doable, but it would depend on the night, and also his homework load/attitude.

If you can afford it I would suggest recruiting and paying a sixth former as a surrogate 'big brother' or 'sister' with the specific request that they help with homework, chat about stuff or just keep him company.
good luck

once a week I would do it, i think ds would have loved it

Maybe once he actually gets to high school, there might be an after school activity or a friend he could go home with, if it is only once a week, you could recipricate on another day. You don't live in suffolk do you?

"ut how many 'incidents' happen to secondary school children?"

I don't know - how many?

To be honest, I wouldn't - your child may be perfectly sensible and mature - but how many 'incidents' happen to secondary school children?

I think it's reasonable enough to expect children of that age to get themselves to and from school, but I really think that if there is an incident there has to be some adult in charge to be able to deal with it.

Accidents do happen.

You could always have a cleaner/mother's help/ironing lady come to the house after school on that one evening a week - she wouldn't have to actually provide childcare, but she would be an adult presence in the home and could get on with whatever jobs you want her to do while your children do their homework.

It isnt a case of babying him - it is a case as seeker points out that dc coming hme need someone to off load to and hat if they have a problem.

I work two days until 5.30 so get in at 5.45 - this means my dd comes home alone, until her big sis gets home around an hour or two later.

As it is only two nights I am not overley concerned, but I wouldn't work until 5.30 every eve, as I think it is important to be at home at school ending time for the off loading and homework etc somtimes.

will the after school club work until 7pm? most close at 6 or before?

Is after school club just for primary school children? What provisions are made for the pre teen years?

Agree that every day might be a bit much at the time of the major upheaval that is transition to secondary school, but that a day a week sounds fine.

My nephew has been doing this every day since he was 10- but that is in Sweden so slightly different.

I would probably make a sandwich in the morning and leave it wrapped up for him to have when he came home to avoid any cooking; one less thing to worry about!

Oh if it's only one night, then no problem at all - go for it!

Ah, once a week. I thought it was every day. Once a week would be fine imo

If he's content and happy with the arrangements, then I think once a week would be OK. As long as you leave strict instructions for him and are confident that he will follow them.

As hatesponge says, you may well find the school runs an after school activity on that evening, which might be quite appealing to him rather than being home alone.

Where will your 7 year old dd be during these 3 hours? Can your ds go to the same place as her. i too would not be happy to leave my dd aged 11 home alone for 3 hours.

It obviously depends on the child, and you know your DS best - my DS is in Year 7 and is at home on his own daily from 3.30 to at least 5.30/6 when my Ex is here - once Ex properly moves out (which is a whole thread on its own....) he will be there til I get home (which can be anytime from 6.30 to 8).

He is very sensible/independent and there are no problems with him being at home on his own - there is no way he would go to a childminder, he hated doing this in year 6 let alone now. We have never eaten dinner til 7ish anyway so it doesn't affect his meals - he is able to make snacks like toast, sandwich etc anyway which keep him going til dinner.

He also goes to an afterschool club once a week til about 5ish, and football another 2 nights which is from 5-7, so that also keeps him busy - if you don't feel you can leave him alone for that long, then after school clubs etc are probably the way to go - DS's school has them in everything from Science to Basketball to Debating so hopefully he will find one to interest him!

I agree completely with seeker.

Agree with Seeker. OUr ds found the first two terms of secondary quite tough and I think he appreciated that debriefing time at 4pm. Once he's settled, it would probably be ok.

I'd personally be happy to leave a 12 year old - but not 5 days/week. As Seeker says, they need to offload after school, and this need doesn't get less as they get older.

Is there any compromise with your working times? Could it be 7pm eg 3 times/ week? Knowing that you're there twice a week will make a huge difference to him. OTOH, are there sports or clubs that mean he'll definitely be later on some school days?

I think he would ba absolutely fine. A 12 year old shold be able to cook an simple meal and be perfectly safe at home alone.

But I also think that it would be difficult for a new year 7 to come home every day to an empty house - they quite often need to off load stuff that happened during the day - the good,the bad and the baffling. And 3 hours is a long time to wait to talk to someone about your day in a new environment. Particularly if you're feeing sad or angry or confused about something. And there's the homework issue too - 7 is very late to discover that he can't/won't/hasn't done it!

I wouldn't leave him on his own. Transistion to secondary school is a time children often need more support. He would probably survive but I don't think he would thrive. Personally I would continue to work your current hours (assuming you would be home earlier) or arrange childcare: au pair, after school club, childminder, friendly neighbour / substitute granny etc.

I've got a 12 year old just about to be 13 and have been trying to work this one out since he was 6 when I was first happy for him to go to the shops. For me, leaving him alone in the house was a bigger issue to be honest. I do leave him now, for up to 1.5h in my house. Recently had to leave him at his dad's home alone and didn't feel nearly so comfortable even though I was on the end of my mobile.

I think I feel more comfortable about leaving him when I have a choice about it and we can discuss it. So, will leave him if I take the other 2 to the supermarket (though will now leave DD (10) too, sometimes). But I feel really uncomfortable if there is a conflict between what I perceive as his needs and mine.

He's a sensible, reasonably mature lad but I still worry that he might fall down the stairs and knock himself out (bit of a history of that in my family!).

When I was at secondary school, my mum had to work a long day once a week and she got a friend's son to come over that day to keep an eye on us. He was in sixth form, got to eat all the bacon and eggs he could cook and I had an enormous crush on him so result all round. Probably because of that I didn't feel she was babying me!