Sex Education

Ah MA, I had a narrow escape from a definite loser once and thank my lucky stars. Girls should know this stuff, and know the difference between being loved and being controlled.

Wish I'd seen it before I met exH

Yeah you're right acanthus, tell them that you're telling them now for them to use whenever they need info in the future, but maybe add some stats on losing virginity etc, it's later than most people think.

Yeah it's a great article isn't it MA - saw it linked on here ages ago and always recommend it.

That you are expecting that they will only need this information WAAAY in the future and you aren't telling them now because you think it's ok for them to start shagging next week. Because it's not.

That link is fab, Elephants.

That If the boy really cares about you & respects you, he won't try to pressure you into things you don't want to do.

Its their body and they have the right to say no

I reckon the best thing you could do is to make a connection between self-esteem and behaviour in relationships. E.g. talk about how everyone deserves a happy relationship, and they should not put up with any crap because they think they are lucky to have a boyfriend/someone fancying them etc.

Worst thing about that in my/my friends' experiences was feeling like you were totally unloveable and that this might be your one chance at love/happiness/whatever. Sounds ridiculous I know but a lot of girls have put up with some horrible stuff because they think nothing of themselves.

Oh and DEF talk about and make available copies of this Warning Signs You're Dating A Loser as it covers crucial issues and is in pretty teenager-friendly language. Maybe even do a project/display on it or something.

One more thing, perhaps some myth-busting about boys need sex with stats etc if you can find them. Be good to start a generation of girls who know they don't have to "provide relief" no matter what some fuckheads would have them believe. Plus that if a sexual activity is hurting them or they don't want to engage in it, they have a complete right to say stop at any time, and if the man/boy refuses it is rape.

That boys have been known to lie?

How to spot emotional blackmail ('if you loved me, you would ....'), control, jealousy, verbal abuse. How to set limits, recognise when someone is not acknowledging them. How to end a relationship. I would assume you go into physical abuse, date rape, etc., and where to go for help, how to support a friend who is suffering through an abusive relationship (tell a trusted adult), what secrets are not ok to keep.

Mythbusting (you can't get pg the first time, you can't get pg on your period, etc.) Amazing how many silly things are believed.