Something that never occurred to me about single sex schools and is now worrying me

I believe that the young people converse on FB to arrange to meet in RL. There is no end to their ingenuity.

I think it is very "quaint" to assume that either that the sexes will intermingle on facebook (and that this will resemble proper real-life interaction) and/or that extra-curricular stuff will necessarily bring lots of mixed-sex action.

I went to a single sex grammar back in the old days..we did mix with the boys grammar up the road..but tbh we were all like dogs on heat when we did come in contact with the opposite sex.. I was a bit of a slapper really
That said ds1 will be going single sex and d2 mixed..I'll refer back to this thread in 5 yrs when I've had time to compare and contrast

I'm with colditz on this one

I can only speak from personal experience bit I went to a single sex school and I do find I am incredibly shy with men such as friends' partners. This is putting me off sending my kids to a single sex school.

Lol oshgosh

chatting in cyberspace is ok....but nothing like the real thing...

Hmmm..I went to a mixed school and I have to say that when I worried about being a geek or bad at sport or not as good at dressing and looking smart- it was never the boys I worried about: they weren't the ones that judged you and bitched about you.

Well, drama or fencing or the church youth club where everyone used to drink lots of thunderbird.

ROFL at everyone quaintly saying that the kids can mix at drama club. We are in the 21st century now - have you heard of Facebook? The boys in my DS's single-sex boarding school know loads of girls.
Where there's a will, there's a way.

I teach in a single sex girls' school.
We recently asked them (years 10 - 13) how they would feel if we started to admit boys to the sixth form.

80% said no way.

Bless 'em!

Not sure that's relevant...

Agree, Lady. Though children do socialise at break and lunchtime with different year groups. And some schools are doing 'vertical' tutor groups (so mixing all year groups).

I just think that boys and girls are just people iyswim ...my dds had friends that were boys and my ds has friends that are girls...they need to mix with their own age group surely

School is a pretty abnormal place though. Where else in life do we mix primarily with people born within 365 days of us?

I think its normal to socialise and mix with the opposite sex at school and in your everyday life ...

Hmmm... in my completely broad, know-nothing-about-it generalisation, I would say the same as Thandeka

• single sex schools great for girls (I went to one, and I think I turned out ok. Did lots of mixed social stuff out of school though)

I also know from experience that if you have a girl's school in an area, it warps the rest of the schools intakes (ie 2/3 boys to girls) so that they are all a bit odd too...

So I think I guess I am 'against' for the good of society. Though not sure if I am principled about it enough to not send dd to the girls school in 8 years time... we'll see. At the moment they'll both go to the Academy three minutes away, according to my principles.

To the OP - get him doing some extra-curricular stuff quick - drama etc (and yes, I am surprised this never occurred to you before )

Agree with pagwatch - I think it is liberating not to have to worry what the opposite sex is going to think about you being a geek or a muso or playing chess or having a tragic interest in botany. I remember the sexually charged atmosphere of my mixed school and how stressful it all was, and how much more confident in class the girls were in my single sex school.

Also agree with MollieO - I think your home environment is more important with how to relate to the opposite sex.

I can't imagine there are many children out there who rely entirley on school for their ocial interactions. Most will be involved in extra curricular activities nvolving he opposite sex, have siblinhs and cousins, sibling's friends, friend's siblings, etc.

I went to an all-boys' grammar school and didn't really have any female friends or know any girls to speak to until I was about 17. It set my emotional development back about 5 years. Thus at university, I was coming to terms with a lot of the things people come to terms with normally in adolescence, which made me a bit of a pain in the arse as a student.

I'm sure this isn't true of everyone who goes through single-sex education, though. But mine are both going to mixed-sex comp.

at this thread

DH wentto a single sex school and persuaded me to marry him when many others had failed. he is charming and friendly and is a bit shy but with bothe sexes.

DS1 is 16 . He has been mixing with girls at school during some lessons for a year now but also the boys [gasp] have sisters and friends and friends of friends and cousins and mates...so he manages to survive the shock when he encounters one.
He has as many female friends as male. And all of his friends are the same.
Parties always involve boys and girls - have done for several years now, his group of friends has been mixed for several years too. He has had a couple of girlfriends in that time and his latest one has been for about a year.

DD is at a single sex school. Walking to school with her each day - and seeing the couples travelling in together and snogging before one goes into DDs school and the boy heads off to his - I am sure she will be pretty well aqauinted with boys too .

And it means while they are actually at school they can work and play and do sport and embaress themseles and be maths geeks or bad singers and not be worried about what the opposite sex are going to think.

I think malory Towers is not quite a mdern single sex school experience any more. I wouldn't choose boarding at single sex but then personally I wouldn't choose boarding any way

TBH I don't understand why there are still single sex schools around ..seems odd to me

Ds's school does 'co-ordinated' education. Boys and girls educated separately but get together for different activities and school trips. Seems to work well.

I am really surprised this never occurred to you before.

I went to an all girls school that was 'twinned' with a boys' school. We hung out with boys on the bus, at home in the evenings, at the weekends... And once we reached 4th year (14-15) and had got through a lot of the embarrassing parts of puberty, there were lots of joint activities eg music, drama, debating soc. It's just a school, not a monastery!

Single sex boarding school might be different, but a day school is only half the day if you think about it, plenty of opportunities for socialising outside the classroom. Plus much less of the horror of seeing someone every day in the corridors that you dumped last week...

When I was a boy I went to mixed-sex schools all the way through. I was excrutiatingly shy around girls all through secondary school