Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

really upset with letter....

35 replies

mistermister · 24/10/2009 18:21

Just had a letter from DS's school saying that because he was off for 5 days out of a possible 36, he has just fallen short of their "ideal" attendance record. They say that Ofsted regards any absence rate of less than 85% a term as "persistent absenteeism" - he was off with swine flu for 5 days, FGS!! (plus a half day for a tummy upset when he was sent home from school). That's hardly persistent - his record before that was probably 2 days since he's even started sec school - now in year 8 - persistent to me is 3 days, 2 days, 1 day, etc.... not a block of 5 days that he had absolutely no control over and for which he was TOLD to stay off school for 5 days for by the hospital GP!! Do you think I'd be unreasonable to write a letter saying that they should maybe look at the pattern of illness before sending out what appears to be a bog standard letter? It also says they will monitor closely next term - talk about the guilt factor - didn't mention it to DS, is very sensitive and I doubt he would even mention it to me if he was feeling ill for fear of being told off!! It's all guilt, guilt, isn't it? sorry for rant - I DO realise that there are persistent offenders out there, I just felt that the letter was very offensive. Any views welcome.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Marney · 13/11/2009 22:51

scools in my opinium are losing the ability to engage with parents and pupils!!!
headteachers are so keen to win over Ofsted normal human kindness is going out the window .The school my child was at recently saw a pupil being naturally a quiet person as inaproriate and needing to be fixed.So quiet pupils get given a hang up for being themselves Its not worth trying to stand up for your rights even if your child is ill you wont gain anything' if you have it in you grin and bear it for the good of the school no one cares anymore.The more of a bully you are in this world the further yuo go

cory · 08/11/2009 10:45

I think it depends very much on the age and maturity of the child, mister: in the last year, I have felt that dd has grown up very much; though we'll always be there to back her and support her, she needs to do more of her own negotiating

though if the EWO meeting had been done in such a way as to make her feel she was being "hauled up" in front of them, I would certainly have had something to say to them (have had some ghastly experiences in the past ).

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 06/11/2009 22:37

im still waiting to be dragged in or a visit from the EWO. I took DD1 out of school for 2 weeks for a family holiday due to dh being very poorly with cancer, and they refused to let me take her, but i did anyways.
they then sent me a letter saying it was not acceptable and we were being monitored by the EWO and may be called in to discuss dd1 lack of attendace. well im still waiting and tbh cant wait to tell them where they can shove it

Original poster
mistermister · 06/11/2009 22:28

That's good for your dd if she prefers that Cory, but however amicable it may be, I know that my DS would be mortified if he were hauled in - can't see it happening again, though, is a one-off hopefully, so am just going to put it behind us now - and IMO it should be the parents they speak to but that's just my opinion and you have yours, so let's agree to disagree on that one!!!

OP posts:
cory · 06/11/2009 10:51

imo whether the form tutor speaks to the child or the parent should depend on the age of the child

dd- with chronic health problems- is now in Yr 8; she gets called into a meeting with the Education Welfare officers at regular intervals, but it's perfectly amicable and dd prefers it to the much greater upheaval of having me brought into the school

ADifferentMe · 02/11/2009 20:13

I'm VERY interesting

Original poster
mistermister · 02/11/2009 19:46

SORRY! Mean to say, A DIFFERENT me!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mistermister · 02/11/2009 19:45

Thanks for your post, InterestingMe - I cannot believe they actually hauled your DD up to the tutor - it should be a matter to do with the parents, the child shouldn't be made to explain why he/she has been away ill! Likewise, my DS was signed off by the hospital doctor for 5 days - he wouldn't have been well enough to go in anyway and I'm sure with a suspected case of swine flu, you should stay away for that amount of time anyway!

OP posts:
ADifferentMe · 02/11/2009 16:46

I've never come across this before with first two kids going through school, but DD has just been hauled in front of form tutor for the same reason. Wonder if there's some kind of crackdown going on at the moment? Tutor was very apologetic about it but had been told she had to speak to everyone with "low" attendance - DD had 5 days off with flu, which is what they suggested at the beginning of term so that it didn't spread. She has a friend who rarely attends for a whole week but they've given up trying to sort that out. Interestingly a friend who works at the school has a son who's had 9 days off - no comment made!

I'd write the letter. Even standard letters should be polite.

Original poster
mistermister · 01/11/2009 19:40

Thanks, Violet, much appreciated. Sorry, OrmIrian, it's not just a letter, it's what's said in the letter. What makes it so hard is that otherwise, I am extremely happy with the school and its staff, they are excellent.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 01/11/2009 18:38

It's just a letter. If they were handing out detentions for it I'd be with you 100%.

violetqueen · 01/11/2009 18:34

I vote that you send it.
Why shouldn't you express your view without fear of it rebounding on your child ?
It's noy like you're being unreasonable.

Original poster
mistermister · 01/11/2009 11:09

Shall I/shan't I.... have drafted letter, ready to send, just one thing holding me back - don't want to make things awkward for my DS.... shall I be assertive for once in my life and say my true feelings about this letter?? Words of wisdom, please....

OP posts:
Original poster
mistermister · 28/10/2009 09:40

thanks, Bellissima, good points there. I would not send my DS into school whilst ill, so as one poster pointed out earlier, until they can guarantee no bugs/viruses, I cannot guarantee attendance rate - ridiculous!!

OP posts:
bellissima · 27/10/2009 20:32

I would tell the school in writing that it is being totally irresponsible, in the current 'swine flu' climate, to discourage parents from keeping children at home when they are ill. Point out to them that 25% of those hospitalised with swine flu are asthmatics and ask them to estimate how many vulnerable asthmatics are in the school. Copy the letter to the Department of Health.

Original poster
mistermister · 26/10/2009 08:11

Cory, your old Head sounds like he was blinkered, to say the least! Glad current school are supportive; so they should be.

OP posts:
cory · 26/10/2009 00:05

Dd's current school are brilliant with her attendance. We told them before we applied to the school that this would be an ongoing problem, and they are really, really supportive.

Her old head was anything but supportive. He called in Social Services and kept sending the EWO in, despite having had letters from dd's GP, paediatrician, hospital clinic, and the school doctor, all explaining that her high absence rate was inevitable. His best quote was: "Yes, we accept that Corydd is ill, but you can expect us to be happy about it"

Oh well, it really makes me appreciate the two heads she has had since.

Original poster
mistermister · 25/10/2009 18:50

Exactly! But even so, they could word their letters a little more carefully.....

OP posts:
CatherineofMumbles · 25/10/2009 18:34

Yes - the Head is pressurised by the LA and has to sing their tune

Original poster
mistermister · 25/10/2009 17:09

That's awful, Catherine... why was she hauled in front of the head as well as having a letter?! I just think Ofsted has put too much pressure on schools now....

OP posts:
CatherineofMumbles · 25/10/2009 16:45

Total sympathy - friend had this - just figures, no analysis, she was hauled up in front of the head, and she is a school governer and so not only one of the head's 'bosses' but also obviously takes her responsibility to send her child to school very seriously...

Original poster
mistermister · 25/10/2009 13:49

God, why can't I think of things to say like that, Scary? You've hit the nail on the head - how are we meant to have any control over it? Surely they know thro' speaking to form tutors who the real "persistent" absentees are?! Brilliant response. And, as you rightly point out, I would imagine this letter has gone to a good percentage of parents this time, what with swine flu!! PS My husband was asked if there was a problem when his boss asked him why he'd been off for 7 working days in a year and he replied "yeah, I was ill".....

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 25/10/2009 12:16

I had this from my ds's form tutor at a parent's evening last academic year. I pointed out that when she eradicated all the bugs and viruses circulating around the school, I could guarantee 100% attendance. Until that time, I couldn't, and that I wasn't proposing to send a sick child to school to spread more germs or catch new ones.

It will be interesting next parent's evening as 20% of the secondary school are currently off with a most unpleasant virus which the Belgian docs are saying is swine flu, and many parents have caught it as well. At ds's school that is equivalent to year group being off.

Original poster
mistermister · 25/10/2009 11:20

sorry, meant to say "send them IN whilst they are ill..."

OP posts:
Original poster
mistermister · 25/10/2009 11:18

Excellent points, Cory! My son suffers from asthma and migraines and considering these, does pretty well in the attendance stakes! Sorry to hear about your dd's health - hope it improves. What would they have us do? Send them ill whilst they are ill?!! My DS himself is very reluctant to stay off school if ill and will only come home from school if his migraine absolutely puts him out of action, which is does, usually - goes to sleep/is sick etc. My mum thought it was unbelievable - said nothing like that when we were occasionally off (was at sec school from late 70s to early 80s). As I say, thanks for all your comments, I was beginning to think I was the only one!!

OP posts: