Following Primary School topic, please post your top tips for a new starter to Secondary School.

Thank you for all of these tips, especially the 'in tray out tray' ideas. My DS is very disorganised and was the only child on familiarisation day to leave his jumper behind at his new school! I also take on the point Mumwhensdinnerready made about not continuing to organise him throughout the year - it is something I would have carried on doing!

Thanks cupateaplease
BHS seems lot better than M&S, DD is tall and thin as well so needs a 13yr but their website is sold out in her size for the shirts, but at least they sell them.

How about BHS? - they've just been stocking their back to school stuff. they have all sizes of shirts out so you can try them on and they seem to have loads of blue. debenhams had a good supply of stuff too.
Although didn't notice if open necked or not
I looked in our M&S and they had rows and rows of white shirts and about 4 packs of blue long sleeved........but i want blue short sleeved!
Will neeed to drag DS to the shops soon to try stuff on - he's just too tall and too skinny to be a normal fit

I have had a look at Next, They do the right shirts but the wrong colour we need blue and they only seem to do white, also unfortunately the skirts are not quite right either.

Have you looked at the Next directory/online? It has some suitably demure skirts. I got some short-sleeved shirts from them, but DD has to wear a tie next year, so I'm not sure whether they do open-necked. Not much good for blazers though.

My DD had transfer today and had a lovely day.

I am bit annoyed as I went to M&S to get some uniform and they don't seem to do any of the tradional style uniform anymore, just fashion types.
I wanted a navy blazer for her, but the style they have now is more like a suit jacket. Can't get plain short sleeve open necked shirts and their skirts are too short and not the right style either. I have to go over to St Albans to get the uniform which will be a lot more expensive.

Bruffin - following a bit of a row discussion yesterday morning, DD got herself impeccably and ostentatiously organized this morning.

When she came out of school this afternoon and I asked her where her glasses were, she clutched her face and cried, 'Why, aren't they there?', and sprinted back towards the school gate...

Am thinking of nailing her blazer on for the first half a term.

I'm after that book, Chinwag. Glad your DD had a good day.

"(suspect my y6 DD would go to school in her pyjamas without my constant supervision at the moment"

She sounds just like my DD Pyrocanthus

Some schools have lockers and some, particularly the larger ones don't. Or don't have enough. Even if they have lockers lots of the kids won't use them because they may not be in a convenient location.
The upshot of this is that they have to carry all their stuff around all day. This includes PE or Games kit as well as their coat in winter if they can be persuaded to take one. (Don't be fooled into thinking they will actually wear it just because they leave the house in it).
As faeriefruitcake says that's a lot of weight.
My poor DS put his PE bag down at the first break and lost it. The full set of brand new fully labelled kit. It turned up almost a year later. Of course I had replaced it all by then. Still, it means DS2 can have new instead of hand me down.

Yes, thank you, lots of good stuff here, esp. about homework and encouraging independence (suspect my y6 DD would go to school in her pyjamas without my constant supervision at the moment - I know the fact that I fuss over her is at least part of the reason she's not more organized).

thanks for this thread! Came looking for some hand holding for me! I am terrified, ds is insouciant

but he has his taster days this week....

They usually get a journal in which they record all the homework set and when it has to be handed in.
I spent a lot of time with DS1 (now Y8) setting up a routine and filing system as Chestnutlodge says. The intray / outray works very well, each child has his own shelf for school work with the trays and books on it.
I also insisted that homework was done on the day it was set as far as possible, rather than the day before it's due in. Otherwise it's possible to build up quite a backlog.I don't think it's fair to make them sit down and do homework as soon as they get in. I let him have an hour to chill first.
I also made sure he got his bag ready at night for the following day.

Now DS2 starts in Y7 in September and while I will do some of the same stuff I think I made a mistake in continuing to organise DS1 once he settled in. At the induction day we were given a useful booklet of tips for parents.
It's called 101 Tips for parents" by Julie Casey.
One of the tips is "never do anything regularly for your child that they are capable of doing for themselves".

I realised I had done this for DS1 when he got undeserved As for organisation at the end of his first year.

Chinwag. . .
Try and get an 'intray' 'outtray' system going - they put homework they need to do in the intray, when they get home with a yellow sticky note thing on it with the handing in date on it. Then, have a specified time when they do their homework every night, so it becomes a routine (don't make it too late or as soon as they get in from school). When the homework is completed, put it in the outtray, with the same label on it, so that they know what day it has to be handed in. This way, they can keep track of what work needs to be in, and when.
Also, a small whiteboard (Ikea do them cheaply) which they can write all the homework down on, and when it is due in also helps.
Another thing, make sure she doesn't do the homework the night before it is due in, this way, she has time to do longer projects, and can also go and ask the teacher if she has problems before the work is due in.

One more point: Make sure she doesn't pack her bag last thing at night, or first thing in the morning. This will help her be prepared.

Oh and lunch money - don't believe them when they tell you all their friends are taking £2.50 or £3 daily!

For the first few weeks - whilst he got used to it - we gave ds1 his bus and lunch money daily. But now we just give him the cash at the beginning of the week and it's up to him to budget. If he has some left at the end of the week he's allowed to transfer up to £3 to his pocket money account.

We give ds1 £20 weekly (weekly bus pass is £8.70)

I'm also a Year 7 tutor please write their names on everything and get them to talk to their tutor about their worries.

Parents, if they have planners/diaries sign them every week. This is where teachers will write messages down for you.

Remind them not to bring bring in every item every day. They are only small and yet they all seem to carry the world in their bags. I didn't realise that Y7's can actually carry more than 3 times their body weight in equipment.

Also the big kids will walk over them, not in a bullying way they just don't see them a lot of the time so encourage them to travel in packs. It gives them a sense of security and helps them make new friends.

The other thing I deal a lot with is 'problems' that go back to years. So and so called me names in Year 2 and so on. Encourage them to leave all that behind and make a freash start. 'She/He wont be friends with me any more' can be used as a wonderful oppotunity to make lots of new friends.

ds1 started last year my top tips are:

1. Buy a sturdy bag with lots of pockets, and help them sort out what goes where. ds1's has a large front pocket where he keeps his 'basic' pencil case with pen/pencil ruler and his planner.

2. Be ready to spend quite a bit of time with them during the first month talking about what they've done at school and what they need to remember.

3. As above you will need to spend time with them helping them get organised. As soon as they get a copy of their timetable make a copy and pin it up on the wall.

4. If you can, you need to arrange lots of dedicated space at home for them to sort out their stuff. ds1 has hooks for school coat, Tech apron, cooking apron, indoor PE kit, outdoor PE kit, bootbag, performing arts kit. He also has a place to always keep his school bag. And a box where he keeps the exercise books he doesn't need that day. Plus a desk where he can do his homework!

1. Don't ask them to compare it to their primary school on the first day, and don't worry if they're a bit weepy about missing it, especially if they are moving from a small primary to a big secondary, or particularly loved primary!
2. Don't spend the summer discussing school - like every summer before, they need a break - probably more than before, year 6 is very tiring! Let them have a rest, and only talk about it if they bring it up!
3. Definitely don't expect the work to be too challenging in the first half term. Although they might be doing stuff equivalent to early year 6 work, it's because they're settling in, and the work isn't always going to be really easy!
4. Let your dc choose some really nice wrapping paper, and get some sticky back plastic. Dd's entire first two weeks of homework were covering exercise books!

I'll watch this with interest too. Ds going to secondary school in September - snivel, my baby....

Before all new yr7 mum's start worrying about their DC's frequenting the library at lunch time my DD's school has a number of things going on there over lunch time and studying isn't one of them in my DD case

definitely do not boast that your child is in the school library - it may be because they haven't made enough friends yet or are in a safe(ish) place away from bullies. Not always the case as they do go en masse too .

If your school uses parentmail sign up for it and if not ask them to start. www.parentmail.co.uk/

Label everything, don't do a casual drive past the school gates at home time on the first day unless you are actually going to pick your child up ( I didn't drive I just happened to be walking past.... honest). Locker keys if they don't supply a lanyard with them get one. Learn to realise that your DC is growing up and sooooo fast. Be prepared to be blown away when your DC tell you with great enthusiasm all about the chemistry experiments. Realise that not all PE teachers are sadists and there is some rational reason why all DC's must wear the regulation over priced PE socks... Lock type containers for Cookery - fruit salad and school books isn't a good combination. Read their planners - it might be the only way you know whats going on as communication at High school is zero. Be prepared for your DC to be tested to with in an inch of their lives in the first half term so that targets can be set... but don't expect to be told how they were set or if your DC's targets are high, low or just plucked out of thin air. Do not smile smuggly as you tell a friend how your Dc spends lunch times in the library - school librarys now offer more than a place to study at lunch time apparently. Remember there will be the odd hic up on the way but they will soon become old hands at this High School m'larky. School coats - buy the regulation one if you must but be prepared to send it in perfect nick to Oxfam come May. Parents Evening are an art in themselves as you learn to rush from one end of the school to the other for your 5 minutes slot.

But the best advice I can suggest to help you survive Yr7 is to start a yr7 thread on here come September

If she is making her own way to school then do a dummy run in the holidays. DD suddenly had to get a bus by herself and she had only been on a bus a handful of times in her life. By doing a dummy run it gave her one less thing to worry about on the first day!

Name everything, they will lose it.

Take every possible opportunity to visit the school, including anything like summer fair. The more your child gets their bearings the happier they will feel.

Give them money for the canteen the first day, even if you give them a packed lunch. For mine it has been important to eat in the canteen.

Agree about coats and school bags - they won't wear the coat (gloves are OK) and bags have to be the right sort.

Don't forget the first day picture - they will never look that tidy again.