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Original poster

Posh or not?

63 replies

loosygoosy · 06/05/2009 14:20

We have two options at two extremes.The local school to us has a terrible reputation,we are in a good area but noone has anything good to say about it.The other option is one of the best schools in the country,luckliy my husband works there so we get half price fees but even still it is a huge amount for us and we have no idea how we will cope on a day to day basis.Would you risk it and just beg steal or borrow for a few years or just put up with the local and hope for the best?

OP posts:
AramintaCane · 06/05/2009 14:49

BTW I know girls from very posh schools who became drug addicts or got pregnant very young. Those things can happen at any school.

AramintaCane · 06/05/2009 14:48

You do have to think of the long term to change later would be very hard. Can you do it for all those years? You have to consider all the extras as well. Ski trips birthday parties - all the things that will keep her head above water socially over the years.

Original poster
loosygoosy · 06/05/2009 14:42

My husband thinks we need to start saving,she knows girls from both schools and is extremely adaptable and intelligent,I just worry about her getting lead down the wrong path (as I did!).

OP posts:
pagwatch · 06/05/2009 14:42

...I am not saying middle range non academic schools are full of nobs I was just clarifying that sometimes the poshest schools don't have the snotty parents.
(Some of the parents at Eton were really nice. Dh nearly fell over at that one )

pagwatch · 06/05/2009 14:40

my DD is at a posh school and remains great friends with her friends from nursery ( and her cousins too)
Many other parents will also be those who are stretchingthemselves to send their children there. I am neither posh nor snobby.
What does your DH think about the kids and the parents - that is always a big clue.

The only time I have ever encountered snottiness was at a middle range not especially academic school - some of the parents were revolting and the children copied that. If the school has nice kids and nice parents she will be fine

Original poster
loosygoosy · 06/05/2009 14:38

Thank you,yes there are two other options,one involves different buses etc..a bit of a hike,but they both have long waiting lists (which she is on).

OP posts:
AramintaCane · 06/05/2009 14:38

It is such a hard choice and a gamble either way. My dd won an academic scholarship but we still felt we could not afford the rest of the fees. In the end we went for local. She is very very happy but that could easily be luck. I think the most important thing in the end is friendship will there be a nice group of kids that she knows at the terrible school.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 06/05/2009 14:37

what does the Ofsted report say - look it up online?

Is your dh a teacher? what does he think of the school?

Original poster
loosygoosy · 06/05/2009 14:36

I know in my heart where she would thrive and where I would feel safe having her go,I just dont want us to have no life and be living for her education...it also worries me having her go to such a posh school,will she be able keep up with her friends?

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castille · 06/05/2009 14:34

Discipline and teaching are the two elements to look at in the state school, whatever the intake is like. If the staff keep the pupils in order and the teaching is good, it'd probably be ok.

If not, before putting your family in dire financial straits are there no other state options at all?

pagwatch · 06/05/2009 14:29

absoloutely impossible to say without knowing how you feel about the schools and if your child will cope/thrive/flourish.

When DS1 started at his school it stretched us but he absoloutely loved it and it was perfect for him so the stretch was fine. For any other school I am not sure I would have.
My DD tried for two schools - one was regarded as 'better' than the other - one of the 'best' girls schools in the country. We both loathed it.
It depends on the school

Original poster
loosygoosy · 06/05/2009 14:29

Pretty bad,I recently went there...kids swearing at taechers,rattling the fence etc..as we walked into a show...I have not lived here very long but every single person I meet shudders when I mention it.Although Im sure there are some very good teachers and students as well as the trouble makers.

OP posts:
AramintaCane · 06/05/2009 14:26

How terrible is the terrible one ?