Can I have a quick survey: Are your secondary-age dc expected to attend parents' evening with you?

I took them from year 9-I think that it is important that they hear what is said-it seems silly to then have to go home and relay it all. The new Head expects them to attend once they get to public exam stage.(maybe he is the same about the younger ones-I don't know).

DD is Y7 at a grammar. All girls are expected to attend. I think they should be there as it is their education and they are old enough to take some responsibility for it. The teachers discussed with dd how she felt she was doing and vice versa. I think it all made her feel very grown up!

At our school the now have a mentor day near the begining of the school year. Pupils are supposed to attend with parents and we only get to speak to form tutor who gives 'feedback' from class teachers.

Later in the year there are the tradtional parents evenings where we can choose to see suject teachers. We normally do these without DC. We did take DS4 with us to the last one because it involved GCSE choices and we wanted him to hear what teachers had to say.

When it comes to years 10 & 11 & post 16 the DC I think needs to be there.

lol at roisin's example

Yes
'we would love to see our student and celebrate their success with their parents'

or of course...publicly humiliate them if they are being pitas

My DCs go to a state comp.

Recently, we attended my DD's (Y7) parents' evening, and I would say that there was a child with every parent there.

With my DS (Y9), we've never forced him to come with us as he says he would find the experience mortifying. But, this year, he is definitely coming as he has to choose options shortly after and we need complete honesty and no misunderstanding about what would, or wouldn't, suit him.

I also agree with the example that Roisin gave as to a perfect example of why it's a good thing.

I would say at primary level, definitely not! (apart from in Y6 possibly).

I'm abroad but the first parents meeting for dd's school I went alone as that's how I thought it should be and I agree that information relayed through the parent somehow has less impact as dd took some of it the wrong way and thought the teacher didn't like her. The 2nd meeting was alot better because I took her and she came out very pleased to se ethat the teacher did have some nice and some helpful things to say.

Ds goes to grammar school and they also said to bring the dc to the meetings. Must be a new thing as I never went to any of mine as a child.

For the first time at primary school last night, the yr6s were allowed and encouraged to sit in.
DD was a little embarrassed and sat there hiding under her hat with a silly grin on her face:0

ds1's school (comp) expects/encourages students to be there.

I agree completely. For some teachers it's an aide memoire as to who the student is , but it also means misunderstanding/misrememberings can't happen, because the student will correct them.

I found staff to be quite frank with ds1 present.

Talking to staff at our place they appreciate having pupils present as it encourages clarity and honesty on all sides. So - for example - a parent raises a query about a disciplinary issue and how it was dealt with, and that their child has complained about being 'unreasonably victimised'. The member of staff can and does say exactly what happened/what the child said. e.g. So while you were simulating oral sex with your pencil case ... Because you called xxx a "fat lezza" and then sit back and watch while the student goes bright red and the parent's jaw hits the floor in astonishment and shock, as they gradually realise that their little angel maybe doesn't always behave impeccably in school and doesn't always tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth at home.

As a parent I hope never to need such a conversation at a parents evening and I'm sure you won't frogs, but it's just an illustration of the importance of having the student there.

seeker!

At ds's today all the boys were rushing about playing 'manhunt' or somesuch at lunchtime

i said to dp 'my god this place is like Hogwarts i feel like i am in a time warp'

at this moment a gaggle of boys were clustered jumping around the trunk of a tree and i looked up and there was a hat or jersey or the like trapped amongst the branches.

A master strode up with a stick and the boys fell silent whilst he sternly prodded at the 'tricot' with his twig

they cheered when he freed it - He then silently strode off

I turned to dp 'this is surreal'

NotanOtter, this school is so old fashioned and scary that it wouldn't cross my mind not to do what it tells me to do!

seeker ours both say they want them there but what can they say when we turn up without them?

i take the baby - softens them up

At ours they get the whole day off, but are expected to attend the 15 min mentoring session with the parent; otherwise it will count as an unauthorised absence. Secondary state school.

At the last session the teacher involved dd a lot, which I felt was good. After all, by the time you get to secondary a lot of the responsibility is going to be yours rather than your parents'.

Optional but she usually comes with me. Will be away for the one coming up so it's OK for me to go on my own.

Very old fashioned high achieving girls grammar - not allowed to go WITHOUT the dc in question!

State comp, dc's expected to be there.

We like them to attend and they must be in full uniform with top buttons done up!!

Parents evening DCs are encouraged and teachers often talk directly to the child.

We only have 1 parents evening so we also have an academic review day where we attend a parents meeting to discuss progress (same as a parents evening only its during the day) the children dont go to school on this day but they must attend this meeting and be in full uniform!

Selective grammar. Kids not expected to attend. A (very) few do, though - never sure why unless, as ggirl said, to act as native guides (I always spend much more time looking for the right classroom than talking to teachers)

Mars i agree

dont do it...

today the teacher said to us 'where is T?' we said ' we prefer to do this without him' the teacher was chilled and said 'fine - i agree actually'

Agree with Mars completely. Also, think your child will believe you more if you tell her that the teahcer told you she was good at French. If your child is there, I think your child (god, this is all confusing) may think that the teacher is "just saying that" to be polite.

I think it's a pain in the arse that I have to take DD with me. DS1s school is no children. Fantastic. I find that the teachers talk more honestly without the children there. I think it would be helpful to have them there in 6th form but definitely NOT before. I'm in the middle of writing a letter to the Head to tell her my reasons why.

I think that if your child isn't doing well in a subject eg lack of focus, concentration and you agree with the teacher it can seem like 2 (or 3) against 1. Not nice.

I actually don't like them talking to my child. They can do that in school time. I want to know what I can do to help/encourage etc. Not enough time to get all that out whilst they are busy telling Jocasta, in an understanding kinda way, that she's not doing enough but not to worry it will all come good.

(Was that TMI frogs my lovely?)