Decision time - state grammar school or quasi-selective independent school

LOL at the sentiment of " getting to mix with POOR people"

Reminds me of Diana taking her kids to look at homeless folk.

sniger

I think the state grammar may be better preparation for life tbh.

My main criticism of private (and I kids in both sectors) is that it can just be a bubble that doesn't really prepare you for life. Sorry but I don't buy the 'ethnically diverse' argument - my dd's school is stuffed with posh rich Chinese kids - it doesn't make for diversity, it's not a cross section of society at all! Just other kids from well off families who tend to stick with their own ethnic group anyway.

I also question the value for money thing, but then I live in an area with good state comprehensives, which you clearly don't, so harder decision for you.

I also would think carefully about the economic forecast.

Quatt - it seems to me you already know what you think but you're undecided because even those who can afford it have to assess saving 80k.
For me, I would go independent...and not for any snob value as I'm sure someone will jump on board and say.

1. The sport thing is important. Sports in school are fab fun with matches, trips to other schools, match teas, house matches etc etc. My DCs love it and I wouldn't want to deprive them of it. It seems a small point to others but my kids thrive on it. Sports outside of school are harder to pursue - take it from one who knows. Gymnastics at 8PM anyone?

1. The fact that the results from the G school are slighly worse despite being more selective says something about the teaching and probably class size. This may not be a huge point but since you've mentioned it you must be thinking about it.

Other factors, which you haven't mentione but which would bother me are
-Music. All my comments about sport apply. If at school you can joing a choir, a brass band, a jazz band, an orchestra it's fun. This is hard to achieve outside school.
-I don't know how bothered you are about the NC. I loathe it and will pay diamonds and bullion to avoid it.
-longer holidays...we love 'em.

Frankly, if you've got the dosh then spend it - let someone who can't afford it have the place at the state school.

From your original post it sounded like you were leaning to the independent. If you know she'll be happy there, and you can afford the fees, then why create a potential problem?

As they say "if it aint broke, don't fix it"

There are a lot of pupils who come to my DCs state grammar school from the private sector. I am on my 3rd DC there and,for what it is worth, talking to parents over the years who have come from the independents, their main gripes are:

Much scruffier than their old school.
Holidays shorter.
Not as much discipline (but see below)
Not as much 'individual' teaching/care (ie much more sink or swim).
(Not really said out loud but a definite feeling of there are too many 'people NOT like us' there!)

As far as I am concerned, my DCs gain the following:

A good social mix of friends (from really quite wealthy parents to very hard up ones for want of a better word).

A good ethnic mix.

A good academic education.

No bullying (and hence not too much discipline at the school, isn't needed).

Mixing with children of more or less the same academic ability (not being teased for being 'clever').

I think it is very difficult to compare independent schools with state schools, other than as far as the academics are concerned. You will not get the same extras as you get in the private sector, that's what you are paying the money for...

Many of the children from the private sector find the transition to the state sector quite hard at first and find it difficult to relate to the children from very 'ordinary' backgrounds (who don't go ski-ing as a matter of course etc for want of a better example)

However, by the end of the first year, they all seem to settle down and by the end of their time there they absolutely love it and have nothing but praise for the school.

Sure she would do very well in either. But

I would stay at the independent school, only due to the lower standards of behaviour.

Quattro - have you though of one of the State Garmmar schools with boarding failities, Cranbrrok is one in Kent and Sexeys in Bruton is another, you get all the benefits of an indpendent boarding school without paying the tuition fees.

Well I have a dd in a state grammar school, so it would be a no-brainer for me.

If she's in a very protected prep school then it's easy for both you and her to be overly nervous of normal teenage behaviour -- teenagers are quite unlovely creatures in general, private school ones may be slightly better at masking it. But I'd bet there isn't any vocab she'd learn at the state school that she won't also hear at the private one.

Wrt the sport, if she's very keen then it's not hard to join sports clubs and pursue it outside school. This has the added advantage that she meets a different peer group and has to take a bit more responsibility for the whole process.

Five/seven years down the line it probably won't make any difference, except that you'll be 80K richer. Wouldn't be a big dilemma for me, I have to say.

How much of a wealthy "bubble" is the private school?

How much of the extra curricular stuff can you make up for?

Sounds like your 80K might be well spent! If you don't much like the appearance/behaviour of a lot of the children, they don't do extra curricular and sporting activities and you feel she'll actually be mixing with more people at the independent, it sort of leaves you with no option!!

Presumably you and dd have visited both schools - which felt more like 'home'?

I'm sure if she's bright, she'll do well at either, but it's everything else that goes with it.

Good luck!