Decision time - state grammar school or quasi-selective independent school

I think providing you havwe more than enough to cover the fees ( whicjh I'm sure Quatt does) then that aspect is a red herring.
The question then is which would her DD enjoy more.

I passed the 11+ and spent 5 terms at a state grammar (and left only because my family moved abroad). Many of my cousins went to state grammars; so I do have a quite a bit of experience.

bonsoir anna

I assume you have no experience of a state grammar 'spend the 80k'

as someone WITH experience of 2 state grammars my retort is

'you would be dim to waste your cash'

I think it's pretty clear what she meant.
I mean you don't have to agree with it but being rude is uncalled for.

I have no personal agenda other than maximising the educational opportunities for children - my own and all others I encounter, directly or indirectly.

all of it. It means nothing.

Well, maybe it means something to you and your own personal agenda whatever that may be, but makes no sense.

What part did you not understand, violethill?

'but I think standards in UK state schools are no longer going to be competitive on the world stage'

..... what a totally meaningless sentence.

State grammars are what most people want because >90% of the population cannot afford £80k.

There is a minority group of parents in your position QC. There are quite of few of that sort of parent in my family and some of us (I am including cousins and cousins' children) went to state grammars and some went private. There isn't much to choose between the two groups in terms of life achievement but I think standards in UK state schools are no longer going to be competitive on the world stage and from the sounds of it your DD will be the sort of girl who, if she wants, will be able to compete in the global professional job market. So maximise her chances.

I wasn't impressed with the one I taught in. I'm glad I'm not there now.

I think you should give her the best possible education you can whether it means spending money or not(assuming you can afford to). I also think that you often get breaks/opportunities ~ call it what you will through the people you mix with(you know...it's not what you know, it's who you know), so that is, IMHO a foothold into the world of opportunity. If I were in a position to pay for his education I would...I'm lucky that my Ds has passed his 11+ and we are hoping for a place in a good school.

I think most independent parents have a wobble or two about whether they are doing the right thing.

What really convicted me to independent education was teaching in a grammar school for two terms.

Faced with your choice, Quattro, it really is a no-brainer. Independent.

Independent. It seems like you're leaning that way anyway, and the sporting opportunities sound like an important factor for your DD. You can always send her to a state 6th form college if you're worried about UCAS.

He's full of enthusiasm for life, but pretty lazy about doing his Maths homework right now!

Violethill - Is your son lazy or is he really full of enthusiasm?

violentill - Love it!!

I rest my case!

I would check up on the sport. From the outside our grammar school doesn't seem to be terribly sporty but once there, they do compete at a high level with the local indepdendent schools at rugby, hockey etc. They are just as competitive. They have rugby and netball tours overseas.

Also they do debating, CCF, Duke of Edinburgh, international competitions in Latin, Mandarin and economics, compete in Maths, Science olympiads etc. (and do well).

They do overseas trips to China/USA, ski-trips......

All for free!

Well, obviously you have to pay to go on the trips etc but a drop in the ocean compared to school fees.

It's not all doom and despair in the state sector you know (and they are polite, well mannered, and even speak nicely ).

no we eat tinned ham, drink cider, watch large tvs and do nothing
keep up violentill

Right, I'm going to open a can of worms now!

I reckon state school engenders higher levels of wit! MN provides a strong evidence base!

Oh dearie me, does that mean all of us state school riff raff don't have any enthusiasm for life now !!

I had much the same dilemma with DS2. He got offered a place at a top 20 (non selective) state school which beats a lot of grammar schools at A level. He also got offered a place at DS1's highly selective independent day school. The fees are more than £80K for the 7 years he will be there (at current rates). I have absolutely no regrets about choosing the fee paying option.

For me it was nothing to do with exam results and more to do with the independent school's ethos of respect and energetic enthusiasm for life and all it has to offer.

I agree, it doesn't seem you've had value for money, unless the alternatives were really dire. In which case I'd have moved house I think!!

I would be careful about assuming that a particular type of school 'suits' a lazy child though - my ds is very bright but also pretty laid back, well, lazy - he has been in private and state and found the style of state suited him much better. Teenage boys hate naggy, pernickity teachers - far better to get them to have a genuine love of learning so that they can see what's in it for them.

thats nice to know

how about worms?