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Original poster

Would you move your child to a different school in this situation?

36 replies

Madmentalbint · 22/12/2008 08:46

DD1 went to our catchment comp. Not the best school in the area, but when we looked around we liked the atmosphere and the teaching staff seemed friendly and dedicated. DD1 also wanted to stay with her friends from primary. DD1 has since done very well at this school,is in her final year and expected to do very well.

DD2 followed in DD's footsteps and is now yr8. DD2 is dyslexic and has very low self esteem. Lots of help and support given in year 7 but not so in yr8. DD in bottom set for everything with some very disruptive children. She also doesn't have the benefit of the good teachers who seem to be reserved for top sets. DD barely does any work all day except in one lesson where the teacher is excellent and always differentiates the work. Most of her work is left unchecked and unmarked, and most days she writes nothing more than the title. She doesn't get the learning support she's supposed to have and doesn't often have access to a TA. It seems as long as she isn't disruptive they are happy to leave her at the back of the class doing nothing. DD has become very demotivated and unhappy and asking to change school. Has also started having trouble with a bully. Have spoken to school on several occassions about both issues. Pointless! Was told I was expecting too much (!) and with regards to the bullying "I'll see what I can do, but at the end of the day, what can I do?"

I'm not expecting lots of written work, but I do expect her work to be fairly consisent and marked! I know what she is capable of because she consistently produces excellent work in one lesson. In the other lessons she's just left to do nothing and they don't ask/expect more from her.

The schools last Ofsted report (made after DD2 given her place) picked up on problems related to teaching children with SEN (lack of planning) and not good enough access to LS in KS3. Went ahead and sent DD2 there as no places available elsewhere locally. Now thinking maybe she would be better of somewhere else.

I recently applied to a full school in the next town with a much better Ofsted report and excellent SEN provision. Was expecting to be on the waiting list for months and really only applied in case things don't improve at current school. Was also under pressure from DD who is desparate to move schools. Anyway, a place has come up already! We're meeting the head and the SENCo in the new year, but it's a bit sudden and I'm worried I could be doing the wrong thing. DD is desparate to change school but I'm worried about how hard it might be for her.

Do I jump ship now, while we have the chance, or give up the place and wait and see what happens at current school?

Sorry it's so looooong!

OP posts:
roisin · 22/12/2008 09:27

Yes, move and do it now.
Much easier and potentially more effective to do it now than to attempt it in a couple of years' time.

Original poster
Madmentalbint · 22/12/2008 09:27

Thank you all for your replies, it's been really helpful. I'm encouraged by your positivity and was honestly expecting you to say not to rush in, and move her only as a last resort. I'm feeling much more confident already and if the visit goes well in the new year then we'll probably accept the place. Thank you

OP posts:
larry5 · 22/12/2008 09:17

Yes you should move her. My dd is actually very bright but at her first secondary school was made fun of and bullied because she wanted to work. She had disrupted lessons for 3 years and was extremely miserable. We moved home at the end of Yr9 and she started at a new school. She is now in Yr12 and the difference in her is unbelievable.

After we had been here about 6 months she told me that she had thought of killing herself because life had been so awful so please move your dd before she gets any more unhappy.

psychohohohoho · 22/12/2008 09:10

go.......go go go go go!!

I have a DD with dyslexia, and I was desparing of getting good teaching until she went up to her secondary school, but they have been utterly fab.

they gave her a tutor for the first term she was there, to get het into the swing of how they learn etc......and this tutor cam to our home every week in hr own time too! (for free I have to add.....well, we never had to pay at least).

she has a TA in each class (not her own that goes from class to class, but one for each lesson type so can help properly), and she has access at any time to a fantastic resource room.

it has ben the making of her....she is bright and confident and in the second from top sets now, after starting in the bottom of 5 (she is now yr8), and more importantly, if she has difficulty with anything she does it all first and then asks for it to be checked (and most of the time it is all correct), whereas when she started, I had to literally write everything for her so she could copy it as she found spelling and working things out so hard.

so, my opinion.......you cannot underestimate how much a good school can do for a child with SEN......and nor can you underestimate how badly a bad school can let a child down if they have SEN.

good luck, but I truly think that if you have got a place thru so quickly, this is clearly meant to be.!

piscesmoon · 22/12/2008 09:01

Move her-it can't be worse. She hates it and wants to move, you have given good reasons for moving her, the school isn't addressing your issues and isn't even dealing with bullying and isn't even giving her an education! No question IMO -move her, as soon as possible.

mrsgboring · 22/12/2008 08:59

I should add, although I never needed to move schools, my DSis did and it was wonderful for her. I've also helped a friend recently (in a small way) who did a spell of home edding her dyslexic 9yo who was being failed by the school. The overnight change in him for not having to go back to his old school was brilliant and he's now doing really well in another school.

MerryChristmasPANDAGHappy09 · 22/12/2008 08:55

'DD is desperate to move'. therein lies your answer I think - if only you wanted her to move it would be more tricky, but as she wants to move too I think I owuld, after all you know she can do much more than she is achieving- as evidenced by the one area where she is encouraged.

scarletlilybug · 22/12/2008 08:55

FWIW, I wouldn't hesitate to move her.
It might have been a great school for your older dd, but it doesn't sound at all like the right pl;ace for dd2. I think there are two main aspects to consider - how well her academ,ic needs are being catered for - not at all well, from the sound of things. And how happy she is - not very, it would appear. And the school's response stinks, IMO. No-one is "expecting too much" to want their child to achieve to their potential.

I changed my dd';s school in September after a lot of soul searching - and it was the best thing we ever did for her. She was unhappy at the old place - but so much happier now. We also had some reservations about the educational standrds at the old place , notwithstanding a good to outstanding Ofsted report. Again, the difference in what she has bee achieving has been eye-opening.

I would just say to trust your instincts on this one. So what if it's a bit "sudden"?

mrsgboring · 22/12/2008 08:54

Yes, move. I always think that children must feel fairly trapped and powerless if things are going badly at school - as an adult we can choose to change job, but most children don't feel like they have a choice about school.

If nothing else, it is extremely helpful for your DD to know that if things are bad there ARE things you can do about it.

Jump! Jump now!!!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 22/12/2008 08:51

no question here, move her

twentypence · 22/12/2008 08:49

Move - how can it be any worse? Your dd is begging you to go. One good teacher is not enough.

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