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Secondary education

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Original poster

Private education for just one of my DC? Have you done this? Can I possibly....?

33 replies

ScruffySoAndSo · 21/12/2008 13:23

just send one of my 4 DC to a private school.

There is more to this than I wanted to go into in this post but basically feel that DD2 is lacking in self confidence and self esteem and think that a private ed could give here these things.

We have planned for all 4 DC to go private possibly for 6th form so it is kind of in the grand scheme for all of them IYKWIM. But will I store up problems for later by others thinking this was unfair to treat DD2 so differently?

DD1 said today that she could understand our reasons for doing it and is quite OK on the face of it. However, the privilege of private ed may be hard on her in reality.

OP posts:
Poledra · 22/12/2008 00:06

Although all of my siblings and I went to state school, one of my siblings had extra private schooling for a particular talent they had. I resented it bitterly, not because of the money, but because most of this extra schooling took place on a Saturday, and our activities were restricted as they had to be built around this one sibling's schedule. I guess my parents also spent a lot of money on this, but that wasn't the most important issue to me. I was probably also jealous that I did not have anything 'special' about me.

peanutbuttermarmitetoast · 21/12/2008 23:54

I will judge my children on what is best for them and if that means one going private and one going state then so be it. However, if I only have the resources to send one privately then both will go state. It is extremely common round here to have one in private and one in state, and there are even a set of b/g twins at my sons school where the girl is still in our state school and the boy is at a very selective private school. There are also a number of mums who rush to do drop off at our school and 5 minutes later you see them at the prep school at the other end of the road. This may be because our school is like a private school in that it has a great education and the same kind of kids you would find at a private so parents simply choose which suits their children best rather than worrying if it is state or private.

I am hoping that my extremely bright DS will go to the local grammar but there is no similar school for DD so in all likelihood she will go private at 11 and we are very happy with that and will certainly not refuse a grammar place for DS and send him to a private school just so that we can say that we paid for it, that would be madness.

Original poster
ScruffySoAndSo · 21/12/2008 22:34

Interesting.

I feel I am in that situation we all get into sometimes where you could make a decision for really good reasons but wonder if you might be meddling a bit too much and actually things could be OK if left alone.

I am beginning to feel that perhaps she ought to go state to keep the peace and I will have to encourage other relationships by engineering extra curricular activities

OP posts:
MollieO · 21/12/2008 20:35

I know someone who has done the same with one of her dc because of very bad bullying at the state school. The others have remained in state education but not sure that it will stay that way.

Original poster
ScruffySoAndSo · 21/12/2008 13:34

yes, I think it may come back years later and get me.

I know that my brother aged 44 still feels bitter about his education and the lack of support he got from my parents.

I wonder if it may just be enough to throw her/encourage her into out of school activities to raise her confidence.

OP posts:
Dominique07 · 21/12/2008 13:32

I think your family and children will understand. It is quite interesting actually, because usually the children all go to Private school, or all go to state school, so I'm sure all will benefit from the various experiences.

Private schools have advantages and disadvantages, you must have a good one in mind. Most will give lots of opportunities for a more well rounded education, including sports, music, drama, travel etc.

mrsruffallo · 21/12/2008 13:31

TBH I think it will breed resentment in the long run

corrioliss · 21/12/2008 13:26

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