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Swimming does my daughter have to do it?

114 replies

formidablelady · 01/10/2008 20:13

My daughter is in year 9 and the high school she is at has a pool. She has recently got soft contact lenses and much more aware of her appearance. She refuses to wear her glasses and it takes her a while to put them back in. She only has 15 minutes to change after the lesson. She also has shoulder length curly hair which she styles into ringlets with gel. After she comes out of swimming when it dries it goes into a frizzy ball and looks dreadful (like she has been electrocuted!). I have written to school to say that we don't want her to do swimming. We are happy for her to do any other sport. The teacher has said that she feels she should do it. I know swimming is not compulsory after keystage 2. Does anyone know where we stand with this. Can I refuse and ask for another option. There are no medical grounds. But there are self esteem issues and name calling.

OP posts:
formidablelady · 01/10/2008 20:58

It seems like I am wasting my time. I am guessing some of you are teachers. I am so sorry we have not advanced since I was at school. I repeat 9 out of 20 girls sit out each lesson. There seems to be no empathy. If she was at a school with no pool she couldn't do it.

OP posts:
Zazette · 01/10/2008 20:50

You haven't responded to the eminently reasonable suggestions of a swimming cap and prescription goggles. What objection could you possibly have to those?

Why are you keener to assert your 'rights' than to find a practical solution?

Spockster · 01/10/2008 20:46

Your child has a right to get exercise and learn to swim and it is very important to fit in and be like the other girls to a certain extent; at least, it was when I was at school. Also pissing off the teachers is not a good long term school "career" move.
Haircut?

Habbibu · 01/10/2008 20:46

Not many other sports can save your life like swimming can - it's a damn sight more important than hair.

formidablelady · 01/10/2008 20:41

WOW I wasn't expecting such a backlash. I am not talking about a minor hair issue here she looks scary and gets major teasing. I don't think she is being precious either she is not that type of child. Does no one remember what its like to be 13. She is quite happy to do any other sport and I think thats reasonable. Its obviously a major issue as out of 20 girls approx half sit out each lesson. I think the school should re think it. If it was last lesson wouldn't be so bad but its 1st. How would you like to walk around work all day looking like someone escaped from a halloween party with no opportunity to deal with it. Anyway what I would really appreciate is anyone who can tell me my rights in this situation.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 01/10/2008 20:24

The name calling is a different issue that needs to be addressed

Blandmum · 01/10/2008 20:23

FWIW I've had girls refuse to do chemistry practicals because they will not tie their (long) hair back, because it would put a kink in it!

So they miss out on a learning oppertunity because they care more about their looks.

I wouldn't be happy if it were my dd

cory · 01/10/2008 20:23

I see wheresthehamster is thinking along the same lines as myself; we seem to be having a bit of a cluster

AMumInScotland · 01/10/2008 20:22

I don't think that your daughter being treated differently from the others, for franky trivial reasons, will help with either self esteem or name calling. It will give both her and the others reason to think that she "can't cope" with normal activities. I think you need to find other ways to improve things for her at school.

cory · 01/10/2008 20:22

If it was my dd who was letting her thoughts of her appearance dictate what school activities she would get involved in, I'd take action quickly. The next thing you know she'll refuse to do chemistry because she thinks she doesn't look pretty bending over a bunsen burner. Frankly, this is a dreadful attitude to take into life.

If there is bullying in the school, then it's the bullying that should be dealt with. But she needs to be dressed in a practical style for everyday life; that's your job as her parents to ensure. Tell her so stop styling her hair- easy.

Mind you, I am getting just a tiny bit suspicious now. We seem to have an awful lot of parents on MN tonight who want to dictate every aspect of their dc's schoolday. Is there a full moon? Flooding under the bridge?

wheresthehamster · 01/10/2008 20:21

Hmmm.

Is this going to be as good as pencil tin or pizza-gate?

No, this is WAY too ridiculous

Cammelia · 01/10/2008 20:17

When you say "have to do it" do you mean can the school force her?

Obviously not. But imo I don't think it really works to interfere in school activities unless the child is temporarily too unwell for swimming etc

Blandmum · 01/10/2008 20:16

she doesn't want to do a lesson because of her hair

Really?

rather precious IMHO

WouldYouCouldYouWithAGoat · 01/10/2008 20:15

2 things
prescription googles
swim cap

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