Swimming does my daughter have to do it?

this is ridiculous.

anyone else see wife swap, maybe the USA one, where the dd who was maybe 13 or 14 got up at 4am every morning to wash and straighten her hair before school because her mum preferred straight hair to curly hair??!

i too have curly hair. and quite honestly you need to help your dd get to grips with what she can do with it. otherwise she is basically living her life around her hair. and that is very sad.

what will she do when she has a school camping trip or wants to do d of e or something? or will she not even entertain these things because of her hair?

what does she do if it's windy or rainy? what does she do if she goes to the beach?

I've got curly hair so i do really really understand where she's coming from - it's not just a few tangles, if it comes out the pool and is just left then it looks like a bush and is frankly not suitable for being seen in public!

BUT...

She HAS to learn how to control her hair if it gets a soaking... i would practice with combing through gell with a a wide toothed comb and then plaiting in one or two french plaits. It should be able to stay like that all day.. in the pool and after.

So given that you are serious and in agreement with your daughter, can you explain why you do not agree with those helpful people who suggested various ways of protecting your daughter's hairstyle and still do swimming? Why do you think it is important that preserving your daughter's hairstyle should take priority?

You keep saying you agree with her, but don't explain why.

Please write to the school and tell them what you have told us. They will probably frame it and hang it in the staff room to read if they have a bad day and need a laugh.

All the pupils can't have swimming last.

We had to wear vile bottle green knickers for PE - and then run through the communal showers with the (butch) PE teacher watching us! It was nightmaringly embarrassing, especially when everyone was at a different stage of development.

My dd's school also has a swimming pool and she (nearly 13) is always complaining about the swimming lessons. She always has her hair in plaits those days as it can get very frizzy too and they only have 5 minutes to change, so I'm sure she'd be green with envy at the thought of 15! But it's never occurred to me that she should not do swimming unless there are obvious medical reasons and so she just has to put up with it, I'm afraid.

FL we had to wear vile brown knickers for PE. I would simply tell my dd (I have 2 of hair-straightening age - one even tried to take GHDs on Scout CAmp to New Forest!) to wear a tight hair bobble on swimming day, and comb through one of the thousands of hair products available afterwards. It really shouldn't be an issue at that age. You are the parent, the teachers do their jobs for a very good reason.

You're bonkers

Sorry for plain speaking but it's utterly nuts to write in on these grounds. How silly.

I have very curly hair. And contact lenses. I swim in goggles and put my hair up. It sounds like the way she styles her hair isn't practical for school.

I don't think you should facilitate her avoidance of swimming just for the sake of her hair.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.

Does this rule out a whole host of options like canoeing? I think it is a bit restrictive if your appearance comes before anything else.

it sounds to me as though you are the one who doesn't like your daughter's hair as you keep saying how awful it looks

Quote from Formidablelady: "I know swimming is not compulsory after keystage 2. Does anyone know where we stand with this. Can I refuse and ask for another option."

Well, I don't quite know why you started this thread! You are obviously determined that your daughter will not do swimming and if swimming is not compulsory and 9 out of 20 girls are already sitting out, then let your dd join them! You don't seem to want suggestions of ways around this, just for everyone to tell you that you were quite right not to let your daughter swim. Surprise, surprise most people disagreed and now you have gone off in a huff because it was not in fact opinions which you were seeking, but validation!

Do you reckon this is the same as Flossie of pizza gate fame? Just seems funny that we should have had two of these educational micromanagers in one evening, both beginning with an f. Will be watching primary section carefully for any revelations by Fluffymum (my apologies if name already taken).

You might want to name change. Somehow, your current handle doesn't really suit.

formidablelady on Wed 01-Oct-08 21:51:23
"Cory depends on the level of your appearance. Trust me her hair would be unacceptable on any level without products/styling."

Unacceptable to whom? If she attended our local secondary, people would just have to accept it as gel products are not allowed and hair has to be tied back for the appropriate lessons.

Has your dd tried having her hair professionally straightened? I know it is not a great idea to reinforce the whole curly hair bad thing but if it is really causing her grief then perhaps try it out?

I would accept her hair whatever it looks like.

When you say unacceptable, you miss out the 'to whom'. Are these people really worth bothering about?

But the point is, we don't think you SHOULD agree with her - and that by agreeing with her, you are nurturing a belief she may form that a) appearance is more important than exercise, b) if you complain enough you can get out of doing things you don't like and c) mummy is weak and will let me have my own way.

But who are we? Ignore us and enjoy all the fall-out later - it's up to you!

I don't believe you are a spineless mother: only that you are doing her a disservice if you let her think that opting out of activities out of consideration for her appearance is the way to get on in life. It isn't IME.

I don't think any solutions suggested her will suffice.

You agree that gelling her hair into ringlets is more important than swimming lessons?

Hmmmmmmm.

Tie it back and slick it into a knot until she gets home?

I can't see how putting her lenses in can take that long. It takes me about 30 seconds.

She still has 15 minutes!