pfb -in fact only child - off to secondary on Thursday...

oh forgot to say - the coat found its way back home phew!

pottering also, both boys have expressed an interest in a couple of films at the cinema and no doubt they will want to go swimming, will probably pop over to Leeds to see my mum and dad.

pottering about/visiting ILs I think..how about you ?

Do you have anything planned for next week?

Friday for us !

So when do we all finish for half term?

DS1 finishes on Thursday (much to DS2's disgust who finishes on Friday)

hi robinpud ! am sure your dd will slot herself in and find friends...from my friend's dd's experience (was in ds' class at primary) she still feels she wants to be with her familiar primary school friends..friendships do seem to be particularly important for girls I think, though ds is realising this now he is in yr 7 and is wanting to be more sociable he just isn't very outgoing, so it'll require some effort on his part. Stick around on this thread as it's been hugely helpful and supportive to me in my yr 7 qualms

I think you're probably right robinpud. At the secondary where I work each subject arranges its own classes, so within a single week children are in all sorts of different groupings/sets across the whole half year-group of 100 children, which is a lot to get to know.

It works well in the long-run, but it does make settling in a harder/longer process.

Have you had a settling in meeting yet? I'm concerned that you say there is no element of pastoral care visible. Maybe it's time to have a quick chat to someone at school? If you wait til it's a "massive issue" it could be too late.

She has joined a couple of clubs already. The groupings sound very mixed; for some things she is streamed; for others she is taught in her tutor group and for a third set she is taught in a different group. I think that's one of the main problems; e isn't with the same group of children enough. A lot depends on which lesson is immediately before lunch and so who you are with when walking into the Dining Hall which is quite an intimidating place for a teeny tiny Year 7 like her.
I like the sound of that questionnaire rosin. There's also no element of pastoral care visible really; I would be loathe to talk to the school about anything of this ilk unless it became a massive issue which thankfully it isn't... yet. I think it is something she will overcome , but I hate to see her upset. However a good night's sleep always put things in a better light in the morning. Thanks.

DS1 is in a form with 3 of the boys from his old school, but the lessons are not taught in this group.

For a couple of his lessons there is only him out of the four of them - this is where he has made new friends.

At my school we did some surveys. By the end of yr7 over half of students say that their closest schoolfriend is not someone from their old primary.

ds1 (different school) is in a form group with the 3 other boys from his primary and all lessons are taught in that form group. But after Christmas all the classes are mixed up and set for core subjects, so then he will be forced to branch out and make new friends.

Bless her. I am sure she will find her way - are there any clubs she is interested in joining?

Yes Bella it is. She is getting lots of unwanted attention from boys; but all she wants s a best friend, or a group of absolutely like minded friends. We have talked about what is realistic, but I wish I could magic her a couple of good friends. She feels everyone else h this comfort blanket of "old" friends and she doesn't.

I think close friendships are more important to girls than boys.

Hi robinpud

DS1 is still hooked up with his old primary friends - they seem to seek each other out at break/lunch, but having said that, he has made a couple of new friends that he hangs out with also.

Do you think it is girl thing needing a bf and security?

I remember having that need (was a very long time ago now lol).

Thanks Rosin- you are so the sort of person I would like to know in rl; always empathetic and wise. I always like your posts.

Poor dd; we spent a year abroad which straddled year 6 and she is desperate for a bf.. she feels so lonely and yet if you met her you would think her the most popular child. She thinks everyone else is as happy as larry..

Why not robinpud? There are only 497 posts after all.

Most yr7s I know of are in this position if they knew people from primary. They cling to the friendships from primary to give them a bit of support and security in the new environment, but gradually they branch out and get to know new and better friends. This can be through their forms, through activities and clubs, or through the classes they are in.

The only particular mate ds1 has made is someone who goes on the (service) bus with him, and from the stories he tells it's not a friendship I want to encourage!

I haven't read the whole thread.. but have just had dd aged 11 in tears. She has yet to find a real group of friends, and feels in limbo between the old primary school friends, ( who although nice are not on the same wavelength ) and new secondary school friends who all seem to be part of old primary school groups already.

So, have your pfbs made amazing new groups of friends or any of them feeling the same as dd?

I would definitely send him without one tomorrow: more likely to motivate him to remember to check is locker for the other one or to go searching in lost property if he can't find it.

school

So do I MAS, so do I

But the question is now - do I make him go to shcool without one tomorrow? or be kind and let him wear a hoodie/fleece top that can be stuffed put nicely into his bag.

apart from the odd pencil ds1 still hasn't lost anything
I'm stunned.

see, I am crap at the holding out and letting him experience losing stuff because he forgets to check his bag...oh dear. Hope coat is safely in your ds' locker bellavita

I would not have taken him back, but I would have felt awful inside for him wondering if tomorrow he could find it etc.

DS asked if he could wear his new coat to school this morning and of course I said yes. Tonight he came home without it but he assures me it is in his locker

mm,we're pretty near and I was thinking off all the kerfuffle of buying replacement pencil case and contents and losing the planner would have been very pesky...I did say 'well, now ds you've learned an important lesson here...etc'