pfb -in fact only child - off to secondary on Thursday...

Oh bless him.

Do you think that this boys parents could be having money issues? Do you know who they are?

How about threatening him with a packed lunch if it happens again?

Money burns a hole in DD's pocket!

ds1 is a real miser and doesn't spend much money. He has over £100 in his pocket money account saved up from birthdays and so on. He only gets £1 pocket money a week.

For Christmas I've decided he's not getting any money. If rellies send cash for him I'm going to spend it for him! He needs some new clothes

He doesn't ask for loads of stuff and never has, but he "would like" all sorts of things, including new trainers and Wii games. But he doesn't want them enough to spend his own money on them

I wish DS was like that MAS - money goes through his hands like water.

I too would want DS to be kind to others in the hope that someone would be kind to him should he need it, but would hate for him to be taken advantage of by an older boy. FWIW I would be like you and probably over react with him

I think roisins idea is a good one with the emergency money in a sealed envelope (for his use only).

DH thinks I was being mean asking DS to hand over any change left every day for it to be carried over, so whatever DS does not use for his lunch is now his, although we did find that giving him £2.50 a day was too much and he had loads left, so we cut it back to £2 per day. Although he does take a capri sun so he does not have to buy a drink.

With ds1 to encourage him to use his money wisely and budget and think about how much different options cost, I have agreed that any 'balance' at the end of the week is his to keep.

Occasionally he buys a chocolate bar after school before catching his bus, more often he goes to town on a Saturday to buy a pack of Pokemon cards or similar. (When will he outgrow that junk?!)

I would monitor it very closely MAS. Money can quickly cause problems in schools.

In terms of emergency money for ds1 what I have done is:
In a envelope in a small separate pocket of his bag he has 'emergency money'. This is 2 x 20p in case he needs to phone home and £2 in case he loses his lunch money or his bus pass, as this would get him safely home.

I've signed over the seal of the envelope and told him to only access it if he needs to, and to let me know if he has.

that's fab magenta

Please may I have a proud Mum moment? DD has waited all week to find out if she was going to be moved up to the top set in Maths. She came home tonight and told me that she wasn't but never mind she'll just have to work harder and get a better grade in the end of term test! She proudly told me her end of year target had been changed to a sub level higher and she wants to beat it. I'm just really rather proud of the fact she's so motivated - long may it last!

curry week sounds great
ds1's school seem generally on the ball regarding targets. Most homeworks are graded on a rather nifty 3x4 grid, so there are 12 boxes iyswim, one of which is ticked. Up the side you have below target, on target, above target. Across the bottom are 4 grades for 'effort'. If you get 1 for effort you get a detention, if you get 3 for effort you get a merit, 4 for effort you get 2 merits. The results are then transferred to a chart, so they have a running record of whether or not they are 'on target'... apart from in English where they don't seem to have got it all organised.

Anyway, I'm pleased to hear that 2 English teachers is not unheard of, so presumably is thought to be a potential success ...!

Hmm... I'll keep a watching brief for the moment

It did sound to me as if he was as I call Dd when tired a bear with a grumpy head!

Thank you magenta - thought I was going mad. I was upset because when he said "you never help me with my homework", it sounded like he thought I did not care which is not the case, it is just difficult with working 3 evenings a week, but DH always helps him. I felt I had let him down.

I have just approached him again on how I perceived the poster and he listened to what I had to say rather than get upset, which was a bonus - maybe he was just tired after a long day!

Roisin - DS's targets were set a couple of weeks into the school term in September and he two has two different English classes and teachers and one of his books also does not have a lot in it as he said they do a lot of reading in this class and discussing.

He has a list of stuff in the front of the planner and it does say Consultatation Day, by appointment, but there is not a date next to it.

MAS -The curry making week sounds fab!

Bellavitia - I'm with you on a gladiator looking heroic if thats any help.

Roisin -DD has two English teachers as well and the same in Maths. As for targets DD has got them for the most subjects - I'd rather they'd given out the half term grades! I know DD has done very well in Maths and will no doubt get another target in it at some stage but it would be nice to know how she's doing in the other subjects and not just how she's expected to do. We were told that each half term they'll get grades and effort grades - mind you if they're NC levels I'll be on here asking what does this mean! . We don't have a meeting with her form tutor till December. I took a look last night at her English book and it does look a bit "scrappy" work wise but Dd says alot of the work they've been doing is not just as she put it writing stuff down but talking about poems and meanings and stuff like that!She has had various homework subjects to do - a presentation, a poem and a story, a book report plus she's now writing an account of a school trip. If your worried about it in general then I would mention it.

We have (first) parents evening in a few weeks' time. I think it's just with the form tutor, but we haven't had details yet.

I'm wondering whether to mention the following:

Generally school is ace and very on the ball about everything, and staff really work very hard. But in English it all seems a bit more chaotic. Ds1 has 2 teachers for 2 lessons each. (They are both ft, so I'm not sure why they job share his class).

• He hasn't been given a target in English, whereas he has in every other subject.
• He earned a merit certificate in English (for 10 merits) weeks ago but it hasn't materialised yet. (Other subjects sort this out immediately or next lesson at the latest.)
• Homework in English seems quite rare, undemanding and is certainly not set to a pattern.
• The amount of 'work' in his exercise book seems low compared with other subjects.
• He's had a number of lessons with supply teachers in English.

It's not that I think he's getting appalling service in English, just that it's not up to the usual high standards of the rest of the school atm. English is one of ds1's strong points and he really hasn't been inspired and motivated by the subject so far at secondary.

Those sound interesting, I am sure DS would like the curry week also (he loves them)

Have to post and run as I need to get ready to go to work, but just need to vent my frustrations.

DH not home yet, I have been asking DS to do his homework for a while, finally, he gets the books out and says he needs help. Ok I say, whilst I am trying to wash up. History, a poster of the film "The Gladiator". He has to choose some words from a list that he thinks describe the poster - herioc, mysterious, fun, etc. I start going through the words and the meanings and DS starts shouting at me that I never want to help him. He said how can he look heroic when it is the roman empire and they were not heroic? I try to help as much as I can, but work three nights a week 7 till midnigt.

Is he grasping the wrong end of the stick with the homework or am I? The gladiator can look herioc without actually been a hero?

Sorry if this does not make sense, had better go and get my shower.

7 weeks - oh my.

DS has come home with just 2 pieces of homework tonight, so not bad going. He is tired though.

ds1 was a bit reluctant this morning, but has had a good day and seems to be straight back into the swing of things.

7 weeks til the next holidays