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Original poster

To keep pushing or to let go - GCSE

63 replies

Revitalift · 21/10/2026 12:55

DC is not naturally academic; he is in year 11 and has a tutor for two subjects, one is maths which he struggles with.

I keep reminding of the homework and daily practice which sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. I booked a few extra sessions for the holidays but he complains he doesn’t have a free day. They have plenty of time lying in, etc.

I honestly don’t know if I should keep encouraging him or just let them be; hope for the best and get alternatives plans if they don’t get the results they need.

Just to add that he does engage with tutors and work well with them and I can see a smile of satisfaction when they get things done or do well after the session. He just doesn’t have self discipline or self motivation at the moment.

When doing work with him I do body doubling.

OP posts:
Ohdearanotherone · 21/10/2026 18:38

like others have said keep pushing, my son is in year 11 and also has a tutor, he is engaging with this so far and it’s really helping, I feel so sorry for those who struggle in the maths as it’s so bloody hard! I am no help at all, and although I loathe having to pay for a tutor it is helping, fingers crossed they all pass, as I said for them I really feel for them. Good luck x

tomorrowfollowstoday · 21/10/2026 18:56

Keep pushing, but also schedule in a day off in half term.

Tell him often you are very proud of his efforts.

fridaynightzzz · 21/10/2026 18:58

DD missed most of secondary school, she only started to go back to maths consistently in year 11. At the start of the year she was predicted a 1, she got a 5 in the end. Only because she practiced everyday and went to every extra class. She didn’t do much 15/20 minutes but it was every day.
Her teacher said the small amount every day makes the most difference to passing.

She had friends who should have passed, did no practice etc and failed. One wasn’t allowed to stay for sixth form to do a levels and she was devastated. I don’t think she really understood how important it is just to pass because you still have to do it. She went to art college and had to do hours of maths lessons a week to make sure she passed.

Original poster
Revitalift · 21/10/2026 21:03

fridaynightzzz · 21/10/2026 18:58

DD missed most of secondary school, she only started to go back to maths consistently in year 11. At the start of the year she was predicted a 1, she got a 5 in the end. Only because she practiced everyday and went to every extra class. She didn’t do much 15/20 minutes but it was every day.
Her teacher said the small amount every day makes the most difference to passing.

She had friends who should have passed, did no practice etc and failed. One wasn’t allowed to stay for sixth form to do a levels and she was devastated. I don’t think she really understood how important it is just to pass because you still have to do it. She went to art college and had to do hours of maths lessons a week to make sure she passed.

Thank you; that is amazing. Well done to your daughter.

I keep telling DS. Little and often; I remind him but I can’t force him. The motivation has to come from him. It is frustrating.

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 21/10/2026 21:05

Is there a time of day where you can get him to sit down and do ten mins of one of the apps (I think maths genie has two votes so far!) - maybe at breakfast or just before dinner or something.

DD is a pianist and I always told her maths is like an instrument - if you don’t practice you don’t get any better

Original poster
Revitalift · 21/10/2026 21:06

BeardySchnauzer · 21/10/2026 21:05

Is there a time of day where you can get him to sit down and do ten mins of one of the apps (I think maths genie has two votes so far!) - maybe at breakfast or just before dinner or something.

DD is a pianist and I always told her maths is like an instrument - if you don’t practice you don’t get any better

We do it before dinner when he is up for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 21/10/2026 21:11

He is on holidays this week so I asked him earlier a couple of times today until I gave up and decided to let him be.

I have told him a few times the importance of passing but not sure is sinking in. On the weekend he said that he will get his grades up. I told him I am confident they can do it if they put the work in; but as I said motivation goes up and down.

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 21/10/2026 21:19

Yeah it’s tricky - with DD I asked her how I can support her studying and if she needed me to be her clock etc. the only thing she’s asked is that I make sure she gets up in the morning!! Which tbf is a challenge…

mondaytosunday · 21/10/2026 21:27

Push with the maths. My son got English but a 3 in maths but did manage to pass maths at his vocational college. A friend’s daughter has tried it four times now and has yet to pass maths and she can’t progress in her career til she does.
Is he ok with other subjects? Ideally he should pass five: English, Maths and three others.

Original poster
Revitalift · 21/10/2026 21:54

Thank you all. Will keep persevering with maths. He is ok in other subjects.

Will sit down with him to look at Sixth form applications too so he knows what he needs. I will have an honest conversation with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 07:39

tomorrowfollowstoday · 21/10/2026 18:56

Keep pushing, but also schedule in a day off in half term.

Tell him often you are very proud of his efforts.

Will do

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 07:40

BeardySchnauzer · 21/10/2026 21:05

Is there a time of day where you can get him to sit down and do ten mins of one of the apps (I think maths genie has two votes so far!) - maybe at breakfast or just before dinner or something.

DD is a pianist and I always told her maths is like an instrument - if you don’t practice you don’t get any better

Thanks. Will ask him to download the app. I think there are lots of resources and opportunities to study if he really wants it.

OP posts:
makemineadecaf · 22/10/2026 07:48

Talk to him about alevel choices and show him admissions requirements in black and white on sixth form’s websites etc. Sometimes it’s a bit of the shock factor that is needed to get over the hump.

Fwiw, this was us last year. Dd is now year 12.

Smallestshadow · 22/10/2026 07:53

I would keep pushing with maths & English because he’ll need to resit if he doesn’t get a 4 & it will open up many more options. But not too hard- he might rebel and go completely the other way and it might be too pressure. Try to find a balance between encouraging him but not being a perma-nag (hard I know!).

RampantIvy · 22/10/2026 07:56

Breeze67 · 21/10/2026 17:48

Unlike many people here, I would be inclined to just let it go. What percentage of students get below a Grade 4 in GCSE maths at your DS's school? The national fail rate is around 28%, showing how easily kids can fall behind. While GCSE Maths is fairly straightforward (far less challenging than the 11+!), it becomes a steep hill to climb when 'leaving it to him until Year 10' leaves you with less than a year to turn a Grade 2 into a 4. Getting a tutor is fine, but piling on pressure over results might backfire, risking both his mental health and your relationship with him.

I disagree with this advice for maths and English. Not having those two GCSEs really limits options, and he will have to keep retaking them in post 16 education.

I agree that little and often practice, practice, practice really does work.

TartanTwit · 22/10/2026 07:58

Maybe change the tutor? You say the school has a lot of resits which suggests the tuition isn't great. And I share your pain, my son scraped a 4 and I was as ecstatic as you said you'd be but the irony is now he's three years on he's doing pigging calculus with a fair amount of ease on a T Level. It was a combination of not really having the maturity to knuckle down at 16, plus I think the school plus tutor we picked failed him a bit.

It's such a crappy bar to set these kids who are struggling. If a 17 year old point blank refuses to resit, my son would have refused, they're essentially barred from almost any other course going forward and who on earth does that benefit... rant over.

SoftIce · 22/10/2026 11:58

@Revitalift I think corbett maths has booklets of "five a day", which is manageable and a good habit to get into right now. I would also up the tutoring frequency for maths and drop the tutor for the other subject to make space for it.

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:20

Thank you all. I am confident with all subjects except maths. I think he doesn’t have the maturity at 15 to realise the importance of it.

Will keep persevering and have a conversation with him about sixth form options and that the better the grades the more options he will have.

There is no excuse, he has tutor, a laptop, access to subscriptions, my moral and practical support 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:23

TartanTwit · 22/10/2026 07:58

Maybe change the tutor? You say the school has a lot of resits which suggests the tuition isn't great. And I share your pain, my son scraped a 4 and I was as ecstatic as you said you'd be but the irony is now he's three years on he's doing pigging calculus with a fair amount of ease on a T Level. It was a combination of not really having the maturity to knuckle down at 16, plus I think the school plus tutor we picked failed him a bit.

It's such a crappy bar to set these kids who are struggling. If a 17 year old point blank refuses to resit, my son would have refused, they're essentially barred from almost any other course going forward and who on earth does that benefit... rant over.

The teaching at school isn’t helping; that’s for sure; but I think his tutor is good.

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:26

makemineadecaf · 22/10/2026 07:48

Talk to him about alevel choices and show him admissions requirements in black and white on sixth form’s websites etc. Sometimes it’s a bit of the shock factor that is needed to get over the hump.

Fwiw, this was us last year. Dd is now year 12.

Will do. Waiting for the best moment when I can get his full attention

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:29

Just to add. A friend’s daughter failed maths, she did a mix of A levels and Btecs. Did not resit; did a foundation course and is at a ini in London, not a top uni but a good uni studying law.

no idea?

OP posts:
AlphaApple · 22/10/2026 13:31

Maths GCSE is just one of those non-negotiables in life. Without it, choices are so difficult. If he can put the effort in now he won't have to re-take next year. If he can just be made to understand that, hopefully it will help.

Don't give up! It's painful now but it's worth it.

BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 13:39

I really wouldn’t even begin to think of not getting the gcse tbh and only cross that bridge when you get to it

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 14:02

BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 13:39

I really wouldn’t even begin to think of not getting the gcse tbh and only cross that bridge when you get to it

Thank you. I think this is the best approach; otherwise I will spend all year worrying.

I will keep persevering with tutor and practice though.

OP posts:
SoftIce · 22/10/2026 14:03

@Revitalift If your friend's DD did not resit, her GCSEs were probably before 2016, or she was at a private school? Or she had Functional Skills maths? Otherwise I think it is unusual, though clearly not impossible.

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