To keep pushing or to let go - GCSE

Tricky - I don’t know how you get them to ‘get it’. Does he understand that if he fails maths he will have to resit it? Have you tried any of the online resources - DD finds them really useful. Cognito is for one subject but I don’t know which. I’ll ask her what she uses for maths

Ok. I had a friend whose dd went from failing to a 5 by swapping to foundation because she understood it so much better. That was at around this time in year 11 so your son has got the time if he really buckles down. Is it worth trying a different tutor? My dd suddenly got maths when she moved school and the new teacher seemed to understand how to explain things to her

I meant is he doing the higher or the lower paper? I think they call the lower functional maths but perhaps not!

Is he going functional maths? How many is he doing overall?

for DD it’s like she suddenly understood that she needs to take ownership of her education and her future but we had a rocky road to get there. She’s gone from being predicted 4-6’s to 7-9’s. She has also dropped a couple of subjects and is really focussing on the ones that she is good at and enjoys.

I’d keep pushing on the maths. It’s impossible to do anything without a 4 in maths these days and he won’t want to be retaking.

The only GCSEs that will really matter long-term are English language and mathematics. If he is currently on a 3 in maths, I would keep pushing. I wouldn't push other subjects. If the second tutored subject isn't English, I would drop that one / cancel the tutor and instead have two tutoring sessions for maths.

OP, this is the million dollar question. I think the best person to answer it is probably DS. What would help him?

My own approach is to let DD be in charge of it herself. I am available to help and have only just been required in Year 10 maths but I do occasionally ask what level of homework she has and when she might do it. She is pretty studious, as was DSD1. DSS was more like your boy, I suspect, although there were no tutors involved.

After DH trying to provide assistance it was agreed that he would desist and wait to be asked. This made everyone's life better. His results were surprisingly alright. He didn't revise at home for GCSEs but must have done enough at school to get through, and did much better than expected, if we're honest. We were braced for retakes. He worked full time for a year before managing to get an apprenticeship and is now qualified.In our case, all that would have happened if we'd done anything differently is that he, and we, would have been miserable and in conflict. Home should be a nice place to be, I think.

I do a job where I have to do some work from home after hours. I'm fairly motivated but I don't always feel like doing it, sometimes I leave it to the last minute. However, if anyone I lived with asked me when I was planning to do it or suggest I should do it instead of having a lie in/doing sport/seeing friends, it would be intolerable.

Talk to DS and agree what support he would like from you, and do that. What does he fancy doing next year? What GCSEs does he need for that? We were very clear with all our kids that their education was theirs. DH and I have got GCSEs already. It wasn't about us. We took them out to celebrate at the end of the exams not when they got the results. We praised effort and other things. They are in school all day with teachers suggesting these results are life changing. I think coming home to the same pressure would be really difficult, especially if you are not especially academic.

It is really important to keep friendships, sport and fun going during exam years. Sitting in your bedroom staring at the same piece of paper to appease a stressed or potentially disappointed parent is a poor use of youth. I think you learn more in small chunks and he is already doing tutoring. Trust him and help him if he asks. Make sure he eats well, gets some sleep, has some fun and sees himself as good enough and you've done a cracking job as GCSE support crew.