Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

To keep pushing or to let go - GCSE

63 replies

Revitalift · 21/10/2026 12:55

DC is not naturally academic; he is in year 11 and has a tutor for two subjects, one is maths which he struggles with.

I keep reminding of the homework and daily practice which sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. I booked a few extra sessions for the holidays but he complains he doesn’t have a free day. They have plenty of time lying in, etc.

I honestly don’t know if I should keep encouraging him or just let them be; hope for the best and get alternatives plans if they don’t get the results they need.

Just to add that he does engage with tutors and work well with them and I can see a smile of satisfaction when they get things done or do well after the session. He just doesn’t have self discipline or self motivation at the moment.

When doing work with him I do body doubling.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
Revitalift · Yesterday 20:40

Thank you all. I won’t let go but will chill a bit as I realised I can’t force him. He works and fully concentrates and engages with tutors but gets distracted at home. There is an improvement in the sense that he is at least sitting down and trying while before he wasn’t even trying.

I will keep reminding him and sit down with him for revision and look at Sixth forms options and requirements. The rest is up to him.

Let see how the January Mocks goes 🙏

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 22:16

Dd has a set after half term which seem to be focussing her mind. Is it possible to get his tutor to do a mock with him in one of the sessions and then you reward if he gets a 3 with the promise of further reward based on what he gets in the Jan mock? DD isn’t very rewards focussed so wouldn’t work for her sadly but might work for him?

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 22:12

BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 22:07

Are school doing any mocks before Christmas?

Straight after Christmas 😬

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 22:07

Are school doing any mocks before Christmas?

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 22:04

fruitypancake · 22/10/2026 21:42

Why not give him a break over half term and then keep gently pushing - sounds like he’s doing well and there is still time

The tutor said we need to keep momentum; there is still quite a bit to cover and they are finding gaps.

He still has plenty of down time to be honest. Tutoring is only a few hours. He has the whole weekend off too. It is not like he is studying all day.

If he was on a 4 in maths I wouldn’t be worried. Or if he had the self motivation I would leave him alone. He needs gentle pushing and reminders. Help with organisation.

DH said he needs to become the driver of his own life. I agree, but from what I have read not many kids have the maturity and self discipline at 15 and still need quite a bit of support. DH and I didn’t have this pressure at that age (didn’t grow up in the UK).

OP posts:
fruitypancake · 22/10/2026 21:42

Why not give him a break over half term and then keep gently pushing - sounds like he’s doing well and there is still time

clary · 22/10/2026 21:29

Revitalift · 22/10/2026 15:07

It is in South East London, studying Law

Hmm from a bit of research it looks unusual even with a foundation year – a lot of them ask for a grade 3 or so in maths or FS L2. Is it Greenwich uni? I’m not saying it's not the case (obviously) but it's certainly very unusual to go to uni without a grade 4 in maths. So friend's DC is very much an outlier tbh. And yes, maybe had a grade that was close to a pass or a pass in FS.

I think for your DC the grade 4 is what he really needs to focus on right now. Once it's in the bag, he can not bother about maths GCSE ever again. This was certainly a motivation for my DS1 to pass.

BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 17:58

I think it would. It is expected now that everyone has a pass on maths and English so not having it would be an anomaly

I would really focus on him getting a pass and don’t even consider the alternatives

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 17:56

RampantIvy · 22/10/2026 17:47

Could the lack of GCSE maths be a barrier to employment though?

Show quote history

Who knows

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 22/10/2026 17:47

Revitalift · 22/10/2026 15:07

It is in South East London, studying Law

Could the lack of GCSE maths be a barrier to employment though?

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 15:07

It is in South East London, studying Law

OP posts:
clary · 22/10/2026 14:21

Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:29

Just to add. A friend’s daughter failed maths, she did a mix of A levels and Btecs. Did not resit; did a foundation course and is at a ini in London, not a top uni but a good uni studying law.

no idea?

What uni? I would think most if not all London unis want maths GCSE tbh. Even with a foundation course. Open university doesn’t need it but I don’t know anyone who has accessed another uni without it. Obvs I don’t know everyone tho haha 😜

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 14:08

SoftIce · 22/10/2026 14:03

@Revitalift If your friend's DD did not resit, her GCSEs were probably before 2016, or she was at a private school? Or she had Functional Skills maths? Otherwise I think it is unusual, though clearly not impossible.

She did Sixth form in a state school. She is 21

OP posts:
SoftIce · 22/10/2026 14:03

@Revitalift If your friend's DD did not resit, her GCSEs were probably before 2016, or she was at a private school? Or she had Functional Skills maths? Otherwise I think it is unusual, though clearly not impossible.

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 14:02

BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 13:39

I really wouldn’t even begin to think of not getting the gcse tbh and only cross that bridge when you get to it

Thank you. I think this is the best approach; otherwise I will spend all year worrying.

I will keep persevering with tutor and practice though.

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 22/10/2026 13:39

I really wouldn’t even begin to think of not getting the gcse tbh and only cross that bridge when you get to it

AlphaApple · 22/10/2026 13:31

Maths GCSE is just one of those non-negotiables in life. Without it, choices are so difficult. If he can put the effort in now he won't have to re-take next year. If he can just be made to understand that, hopefully it will help.

Don't give up! It's painful now but it's worth it.

Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:29

Just to add. A friend’s daughter failed maths, she did a mix of A levels and Btecs. Did not resit; did a foundation course and is at a ini in London, not a top uni but a good uni studying law.

no idea?

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:26

makemineadecaf · 22/10/2026 07:48

Talk to him about alevel choices and show him admissions requirements in black and white on sixth form’s websites etc. Sometimes it’s a bit of the shock factor that is needed to get over the hump.

Fwiw, this was us last year. Dd is now year 12.

Will do. Waiting for the best moment when I can get his full attention

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:23

TartanTwit · 22/10/2026 07:58

Maybe change the tutor? You say the school has a lot of resits which suggests the tuition isn't great. And I share your pain, my son scraped a 4 and I was as ecstatic as you said you'd be but the irony is now he's three years on he's doing pigging calculus with a fair amount of ease on a T Level. It was a combination of not really having the maturity to knuckle down at 16, plus I think the school plus tutor we picked failed him a bit.

It's such a crappy bar to set these kids who are struggling. If a 17 year old point blank refuses to resit, my son would have refused, they're essentially barred from almost any other course going forward and who on earth does that benefit... rant over.

The teaching at school isn’t helping; that’s for sure; but I think his tutor is good.

OP posts:
Original poster
Revitalift · 22/10/2026 13:20

Thank you all. I am confident with all subjects except maths. I think he doesn’t have the maturity at 15 to realise the importance of it.

Will keep persevering and have a conversation with him about sixth form options and that the better the grades the more options he will have.

There is no excuse, he has tutor, a laptop, access to subscriptions, my moral and practical support 😅

OP posts:
SoftIce · 22/10/2026 11:58

@Revitalift I think corbett maths has booklets of "five a day", which is manageable and a good habit to get into right now. I would also up the tutoring frequency for maths and drop the tutor for the other subject to make space for it.

TartanTwit · 22/10/2026 07:58

Maybe change the tutor? You say the school has a lot of resits which suggests the tuition isn't great. And I share your pain, my son scraped a 4 and I was as ecstatic as you said you'd be but the irony is now he's three years on he's doing pigging calculus with a fair amount of ease on a T Level. It was a combination of not really having the maturity to knuckle down at 16, plus I think the school plus tutor we picked failed him a bit.

It's such a crappy bar to set these kids who are struggling. If a 17 year old point blank refuses to resit, my son would have refused, they're essentially barred from almost any other course going forward and who on earth does that benefit... rant over.

RampantIvy · 22/10/2026 07:56

Breeze67 · 21/10/2026 17:48

Unlike many people here, I would be inclined to just let it go. What percentage of students get below a Grade 4 in GCSE maths at your DS's school? The national fail rate is around 28%, showing how easily kids can fall behind. While GCSE Maths is fairly straightforward (far less challenging than the 11+!), it becomes a steep hill to climb when 'leaving it to him until Year 10' leaves you with less than a year to turn a Grade 2 into a 4. Getting a tutor is fine, but piling on pressure over results might backfire, risking both his mental health and your relationship with him.

I disagree with this advice for maths and English. Not having those two GCSEs really limits options, and he will have to keep retaking them in post 16 education.

I agree that little and often practice, practice, practice really does work.

Smallestshadow · 22/10/2026 07:53

I would keep pushing with maths & English because he’ll need to resit if he doesn’t get a 4 & it will open up many more options. But not too hard- he might rebel and go completely the other way and it might be too pressure. Try to find a balance between encouraging him but not being a perma-nag (hard I know!).