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Original poster

Should we take DC to visit a secondary school we will not choose?

30 replies

RedOrangeYellowGreenBlueIndigo · 03/09/2026 08:39

Can't believe how quickly this has come around, but we are already choosing secondary schools!

We, as parents, have researched the schools in our area and shortlisted 4 schools (out of a possible 8) which are reasonable distance and fit for our family (we have made sure to include our closest non-faith school, an undersubscribed school and the other 2 are oversubscribed). These are the schools we are going to take DC to visit.

DC has asked to visit school 'X' because apparently the whole of year 6 are going (I don't know how true that claim is). This is not on our shortlist and we will never apply for it so I personally don't see the point in visiting. We have mentioned we are not going to apply for school 'X' because DC doesn't really stand a chance of getting a place (no siblings, not of that religion), but DC seems upset about it and says that it's not fair that everyone gets to go and see it and they don't.

How to handle this? Should we be firm about it and say no? Should we go and see it? The only real downside I can see is that it is a waste of everyone's time.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 03/09/2026 09:00

I wouldn't go. I would explain lots are going to see it but probably most won't get places there. There's a popular school near us that some parents viewed and fell in love with but live way too far out of the tight catchment. I don't see the point in potentially liking it and being disappointed. Personally I'd save your energy for the contenders and leave the open day spaces for others. (Here the open days 'sell out', so jist going for a jaunt seems a bit unfair.)

Melarus · 03/09/2026 08:56

You may as well go. It can be difficult to judge schools based on a visit, especially for the y6er. If they have more schools to compare, it will help them see the benefits of the one they end up going to.

moppety · 03/09/2026 08:55

It sounds like it’s more just a bit of a jaunt so if you have the time and they want to do it then why not?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 03/09/2026 08:50

I went to see one school with DD at her insistence, despite thinking it wasn’t the right fit. It wasn’t. She admitted she just fancied a morning off school!

TheFarriersDaughter · 03/09/2026 08:48

Do you have substantive reasons beyond the unlikelihood of getting a place at X?

It almost goes without saying that children always have a skewed idea of what ‘everyone else’ is doing - and it’s irrelevant anyway, as they invariably make new friends at the new place. Still, if you don’t have anything concrete against it, why not just humour them and visit. They may then see for themselves that it isn’t a viable option for the reasons you’ve given.