Year 7 support 2026

Hello, my son, usually outgoing, is struggling with secondary school. So far, he’s spending breaks and lunchtimes alone. He says the kids all seem to know each other already (hardly anyone from his primary school went). I’m worried and sad for him, and part of me just wants to take him out of the school and put him in the one his primary school friends have gone to! The school hasn’t been very helpful and I feel even worse as they keep saying how well everyone has settled in! Just wondered if anyone’s been through this and looking for any words of advice.

its horrible to think of them alone isn’t it. As parents we just want them to be happy. Think all we can do is give it time during such a huge transition. Them navigating everything to remember, new environment and loads of new people can be such a big change which takes a while to process.
my daughter is so tired and really struggled in the first few days - she came a bit more chatty today so will see how it goes. Nearly Friday!!

Definitely feeling the exhaustion here. I think the independent travel and all the extra thinking about where to be, when etc is full on.
Sorry to hear about the struggle to make friends, I have to admit my daughter has some issues socially and it was a massive concern of mine. I would say these things take time.
Are there breaktime and lunchtime clubs that he can join both to meet others and to keep him busy?
Having seating plans been set yet or are people still sitting with who they like. They are not friends but dd has definitely got to know more people this week by having different partners so that might be a route to get to know people too.

Hi @Maritimemum my DD is settling well (so far.....!) But we actually moved house a considerable distance halfway through Y5. She had a bumpy transition as the girls at her new school at first closed ranks and wouldn't include her. Two even tried to bully her. She did eventually find her feet though.

Based on that experience, I would say

• encourage him to keep talking to you and validate his feelings
• but, be aware he may be seeing things through a skewed lens and gently challenge that others will be lonely, nervous, looking to meet new friends - even it doesn't seem that way!
• get him to join any clubs and societies you can. DD in Y5 joined several things like out of school drama and 2 school sports clubs which gave her other social opportunities

I wouldn't look at moving just yet, it'll be very disruptive, his friends from primary will already have started making their own connections and "moved on" a bit, which would be painful. He'll be okay, give it time :)

It has been up and down for my dd. She went off so excited first couple of days but the third day she got home and burst into tears. She said it was because some older kids were laughing at her on her walk home but I think it was a come down from all the adrenaline of the first few days to be honest.

She went back in Monday and some of the girls from primary were being a bit mean not wanting her to sit with them at lunch (they are all in a different form to her). She was worrying she would have no one to talk to and that she had no friends.

I told her they are not true friends if they are going to be like that and to concentrate on talking to new people in class. Well I am so proud of her. She said she’d got talking to a girl sat by her in science and she is in most of her
lessons with her so she asked if she could sit with her at lunch. She said yes and she has now made friends with her and her friendship group.

Sure there will be lots more up and downs but we’re finishing the week off feeling much more positive. I don’t think I quite got how big a transition it is for them. Hope everyone is feeling more settled soon.

I always tell my kid to look for someone else who is looking scared and shy and go and talk to them.
I think it's really natural for kids to want to join the big, happy, laughing groups who look like they're having a good time. But those people generally already have friendships and might not be looking to make more.
People who are on their own are usually thrilled when you go and talk to them and you can create your own busy happy group and maybe invite others to join you.
Once you start looking, you'll notice other kids who are on their own and once you've got one friend, everything is a bit easier.
Good luck to him - it's really hard.

Any tips for getting used to doing homework daily? My son has never really had much to do and what he did have he’d do Sunday night.

The school didn’t set any homework the first week but this week it’s coming. So I need any tips for getting him into the habit of doing it as soon as.

(also curious about the bedtime of other 11yo and whether I need to let him stay up later to get enough down time after homework?)

also curious about the bedtime of other 11yo and whether I need to let him stay up later to get enough down time after homework?

What time does he have to get up? A child who gets up at 7.30 can stay up later than one who has to get up at 6.30. I'd look at that and nhs sleep recommendations for his age and work it out from there.

My ds has been miserable during week 1. He's cried in the morning and evening. However if other family members ask how it went, he says fine.

He's been crying this weekend. He's begging me to send him to the school lots of his primary friends went to. However it is a terrible school, with very poor results and behaviour challenges - I just can't send him there.

It's really affecting me, I'm deadling with his emotions and anger towards me, our conversations are going round in circles. I've said he hasnt tried to give it a chance hes just so fixated on the other school.

I know I have to ride it out but I'm miserable too. He does know a couple of kids there and is in the same form, one is a close friend. Their mums say their sons have settled ok.

He's always struggled with change. He moaned about primary too. I'm just so worn down by it all.

it’s difficult when you want to do the right thing
and have them attend the school you think will benefit them.
the kids will only be thinking about their friends not about the bigger picture.
if he usually struggles with change, maybe give him some more time to settle down.

in terms of bedtime, mine usually has reading at 8.30 and lights off latest 9 - however this week lights off a bit earlier as she’s been really tired. We’ve already had a few bits of homework. My daughter has been so tired it’s been difficult to get motivated to do work after school. Hopefully won’t be as tired as the weeks go on.

Is anyone finding behaviour gone dowhill at home?

DD is thriving at school, but at home, she has become quite rude and disrespectful. I know it's just boundary pushing bur jeez.....

Oh yes! The attitude is EXTRA! I told DS to give his head a wobble last week. I am hoping it is just a phase. We had a few tears too and he said that he had lots of feelings that he didn't know what to do with, so I think it's puberty kicking in full force too.

He is flying at school it seems - lots of positive behaviour points coming in!

Same here with my DS. I guess home is the safe space where they can let it all out after being ‘on’ all day but it feels a bit like having a furious, overgrown toddler to deal with in the evenings!

My son started y7 on the 2/9 he is exhausted. He doesn’t have to get up earlier than the previous school but I’m now having to wake him every day and he looks like a zombie when I collect him. There’s also so much to remember! He has an email and teams and homework gets set either via email, on teams, on sparx or on another app beginning with T that I can’t remember. It’s so confusing! There’s also two buildings and he needs dropping off / collecting at the different buildings and it’s a two week time table. Pe is different days over the two weeks.
I feel like my son needs a PA to manage this.

I couldn't agree more - the amount of apps is WILD> We have satchel one gmail and google classroom. and the amount of PE kit to bring in for each lesson, my son is enjoying it but its crazy. we are all invested in getting him up to date on the various platforms

My son is the same regarding Teams and Sparx and emails! He also has a 2 week timetable which blows my mind quite frankly! However, he is happy, has made friends (he knew no one) and is getting recommendations from teachers so I assume lessons are going ok! He is not keen on getting up in the morning and doesn't seem any more tied after school (even after 3 1/4 hrs of rugby yesterday). I feel we need another couple of weeks to get into some sort of rhythm and then things will feel smoother!

Why can’t there just be one app to manage everything!!!! 😂
lots of homework to get on top of so will try and get her to tackle that this weekend.
Tired and struggling to get up in the mornings!!

Feeling lucky that my sons homework is all through teams. it’s very efficient.

the school sports and societies and clubs schedules are insane though.

We’ve had a few teary evenings as friend groups are starting to fracture and shift as the kids get to know each other a bit better. I did warn him early on but it still hurts when it starts to happen

First tears from my DD on Fri night after her best friend from primary came to hang out after school (they have gone to different secondaries). She cried when she left saying she realised how much she missed her and primary school in general and that there isn't enough time for playing in her new school.

The novelty has definitely worn off in the last week. Also, anyone else's DC not interested in any clubs or extra curriculars? All her friends are joining things and she says she doesn't want to do any, it's enough just being at school. It makes sense but I just worry she's missing out 😔

If she wants more time to ‘play’, clubs are the best place for it! I pretty much made mine go to one in year 7 and it was a success and she ended up doing more. I’d really encourage it. Especially if her mates are going

My dd hasn’t done any clubs yet. Some are before school and she doesn’t want to get up earlier (fair enough). The after school ones I’m sure she’ll try some in time but it’s a lot just getting used to school itself at the moment.