What happens if they fail Y12

Shinyredbicycle · 2026-08-21T11:27:13+00:00

My ds scraped through GCSEs by the skin of his teeth, athough has just failed maths for the third time. Very close to a 4 - he panicks in exams and leaves early despite being given extra time for to SEND. He started sixth form doing 2 BTechs and 1 'A' level. I wanted him to look at extended Btech in the subject that he loves and excells in (drama) but he absolutely refused to consider going to a college. I did get him to an open day earlier this year which he stormed out of. He has just found out that he received a U in a drama exam (he had prepared, just can't do exams), and a U in one of the modules in his other Btech. He's expecting to get a U in the 'A' level subject as well - likely, as he only had a go at answering half the questions. I contacted the school early summer to say I was concerned about him and was reassured that he was doing fine. Obviously, that wasn't the case, and I've contacted the school today to see what his options are. He's convinced that he won't be allowed to go into Y13. Ybh, that would be completely understandable from the school's perspective, but what then for him? He won't be able to get a job without a 4 in maths and I do not want him sitting at home with his self-confidence and self-esteem getting lower and lower. Can anyone offer any advice or guidance please? Especially if he continues to refuse to engage with the idea of any sort of college course. TIA

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 28/08/2026 10:49

No EHCP. His needs can be met through standard SEN support. If he would accept the support on offer.

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tourdefrance · 27/08/2026 21:57

Has he got an EHCP? If not, its not too late to get one and that will allow him to continue in education (on a suitable course) past 18 or 19.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 27/08/2026 17:03

Thanks.

Quick update. Head of sixth form kindly got back to me, assuring me that ds will be allowed into Y13.

As I suspected, ds saying that he isn't going back was a way to jump before he was pushed (as he thought he would be).

I replied to the Head with questions re: resitting BTech modules, what was his other Y12 exam result etc. Pointing out that this will be his last year of school and I would like him to leave with some qualification, which is looking far from certain at the moment.

HoY has agreed to meet with me and ds next week. We need to discuss how to get him through maths, and if there are any one year courses he could study and drop the 'A' level.

I know that the 'best' thing for him would be to start Y12 again at a college and do an extended BTech in performing arts, but he won't. So trying to find some way for him to get at least maths grade 4 nd drama, have structure to his week, do some things that he's good at and socialise.

Would be happy to pay for him to do the L2 FS, but no point unless he is motivated.

Mentioned making GP apt, ds non-plussed.

Thanks again. I'm exhausted with this worry.

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Talkingfrog · 24/08/2026 10:23

I know he has said no to college, but is it worth contacting them, explaining the situation and send issues, and seeing if you can have a personal meeting and tour around.

Not sure if it is an option, but may be less overwhelming that the normal welcome evening, and can be focussed on what your son needs to know.
Good luck.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 23/08/2026 14:21

I know understandings of ADHD have changed, but 7 years ago when he was assessed, it was very much 'ADHD would have shown itself at aged 4/5.' The world has got much faster since then and I don't think teenage brains cope well with the overload of information that they receive. One of his adjustments is a supervised break away from his desk, but he doesn't use it. It's very frustrating.

I will speak with him about going to the GP. Yes, he does need a plan and it needs to be one that he comes up with (with support). We need to see what, if any, his options are at school and what ideas he has. He does seem to have grasped that he needs Grade 4/L2 FS maths. Whether that will translate into the obvious course of action ie studying for an exam, remains to be seen.

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Coffeeismyfriend1 · 23/08/2026 09:24

Shinyredbicycle · 23/08/2026 08:36

Just to add, ds has been asking about an assessment for ASD/ADHD for some time (on and off). His dad received an autism diagnosis a few years ago and ds certainly has traits, although so do a hell of a lot of the population.

He was assessed by an ed psychologist when he was 10 which was when his visual processing difficulties were diagnosed. No ND identified, although that was a while ago. Years of eye exercises and special glasses have helped a lot and he is still under a specialist optometrist.

I spoke with the SENCo about this a year ago, who has unfortunately been on long-term sick for most of the academic year. I've had no joy finding out whether there is a substitute tbh.

My approach with ds has been to think through about what difference a diagnosis would make. He would be entitled to extra time in exams, to use a laptop etc but he already has those adjustments and DOESN'T BLOODY WELL USE THEM. He will not accept mine (or anyone's) help with organising himself, study techniques etc. I dragged him kicking and screaming through his GCSEs but he just says 'no' now to any 'interference' from me.

I don't know. We've been round and round in circles with this for years now. Maybe I should speak with ds about going to the GP.

If he’s asking, I would take it seriously. He clearly knows there is something affecting his ability to do well in exams. My DS is much younger but he has AuDHD and he is good at maths but also struggles with the word based questions. Fortunately for him this has been identified in year 4 so we can work on them. For an ADHD child sometimes extra time in exams can be the worst possible thing as it means extra time to have to sit still and focus when they are already struggling to focus. I see this a lot in my students. A lot get supervised rest breaks but actually for them a supervised movement break is what is needed as rest breaks usually mean they still have to sit at their desk in silence!

Someone will have had to take responsibility for SEND at his college so you need to ask but you can also try going through the GP, see if they offer right to choose pathway as he may be seen quicker.

LoyalMintOtter · 23/08/2026 08:58

DS needs a plan. I think the bottom line in terms of his education is the maths. I would go for job/volunteering/maths and tutor. If he won't entertain college and school sounds unsupportive then you need some things that need keeping to. I would also consider a job coach or mentor, CV, job applications, level 2 apprentiship. I don't wish to sound harsh but you do seem to be making excuses for him - lack of exam technique, possible diagnosis and so on. I guess its the stage that you are all at - you might feel differently in Feb next year when he is still refusing to move forward.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 23/08/2026 08:36

Just to add, ds has been asking about an assessment for ASD/ADHD for some time (on and off). His dad received an autism diagnosis a few years ago and ds certainly has traits, although so do a hell of a lot of the population.

He was assessed by an ed psychologist when he was 10 which was when his visual processing difficulties were diagnosed. No ND identified, although that was a while ago. Years of eye exercises and special glasses have helped a lot and he is still under a specialist optometrist.

I spoke with the SENCo about this a year ago, who has unfortunately been on long-term sick for most of the academic year. I've had no joy finding out whether there is a substitute tbh.

My approach with ds has been to think through about what difference a diagnosis would make. He would be entitled to extra time in exams, to use a laptop etc but he already has those adjustments and DOESN'T BLOODY WELL USE THEM. He will not accept mine (or anyone's) help with organising himself, study techniques etc. I dragged him kicking and screaming through his GCSEs but he just says 'no' now to any 'interference' from me.

I don't know. We've been round and round in circles with this for years now. Maybe I should speak with ds about going to the GP.

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CaptainMyCaptain · 23/08/2026 07:52

Rocknrollstar · 22/08/2026 08:45

Perhaps he needs some coaching in exam techniques? When I was a secondary school teacher the subject I taught had a GCSE paper that moved through multiple choice questions, a couple of sentences answers, to an essay in which students were expected to draw on what they had learnt across the two years of the course. By the time they reached this question a lot of them were tired, would write a paragraph and leave. I raised the grades across every cohort by going in at the beginning of the exam and, much to the surprise of the invigilators, telling the pupils to turn to Section C on the paper and answer that question first. All pupils also need practice in timing their work.

Teachers should not be going into exams. (Retired teacher and ex invigilator)

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 23/08/2026 07:37

Thanks. Ds is in 'I don't care' mode at the moment (which is all a defence - his self-esteem has been further dented).

I've emailed the Head of Sixth form to ask what his options are. I've asked if we could have a meeting or phone call. I requested this in the summer when I was reassured that everything was fine. I know they have a lot of students, but feel frustrated that my concerns weren't taken seriously.

Or maybe they were. The disparity between his obvious intelligence and how he does in exams is quite shocking.

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itsrainingyay · 22/08/2026 12:25

It’s very late for school to have given his year 12 report. IF he wants to stay I’d argue you’re in a strong position to negotiate what he studies - restricted number of courses & focus on maths as I mentioned above. I think if he has SEND needs he can study 2 courses (might be done to local decision making but I think you could push)z But other options may be more sensible with everything you’ve said. The priority being to pursue the maths he needs with some other constructive use of his time.

Not all kids can follow the current education route. As you say bigger picture he’ll be fine. I think it’s great he’s got a passion for drama and a part time job. Can he seek voluntary work or even work experience within the drama field over the next year whilst looking for an apprenticeship?

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 22/08/2026 09:50

Yeah, we've had this type of conversation a lot in recent months. It doesn't even had to be full-time hours, just some structure to his week, something to get up for and to be involved in.

A TA apprenticeship is something we've talked about. He only received his Y12 report yesterday, so we've lost a bit of time. There were quite a few TA apprenticeships advertised when I was looking late spring/early summer, but not many now.

I'll keep looking - thanks.

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Hairyfairy01 · 22/08/2026 09:24

It doesn’t sound like he is ready for college atm, which is fair enough. Sounds like he needs a job / volunteering work. A deal breaker for me would be a combination of these has to be equivalent to full time hours. Has he thought of applying to be a teaching assistant, or some form of care work? Believe it or not a care home would love his drama skills, especially if he looked more into the activity coordinator positions. Main thing is increasing his confidence and getting him mixing with others. Take a look at animal sanctuaries for volunteering roles. Any holiday camp type places near you, haven, centre parcs etc, or local family adventure parks, farms etc. These can be good employers for young people.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 22/08/2026 09:14

Yep, Rocknrollstar that's exactly what he needs.

When he failed maths for the first time, I got the papers, went through them all with him and could see that he races through the first part getting everything right then grinds to a halt when the questions get longer, even though the maths is actually straightforward when you've worked out what Amira is doing with her buttons or Benji is doing with his cake ingredients.

I did as much as I could to help him, offered to pay for a tutor to address exactly that, but he refused. He missed a 4 in his resit by one mark.It's incredibly frustrating to know that he could have got that mark if he used his extra time to check his work etc rather than leaving the exam room as soon as he is allowed.

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Rocknrollstar · 22/08/2026 08:45

Perhaps he needs some coaching in exam techniques? When I was a secondary school teacher the subject I taught had a GCSE paper that moved through multiple choice questions, a couple of sentences answers, to an essay in which students were expected to draw on what they had learnt across the two years of the course. By the time they reached this question a lot of them were tired, would write a paragraph and leave. I raised the grades across every cohort by going in at the beginning of the exam and, much to the surprise of the invigilators, telling the pupils to turn to Section C on the paper and answer that question first. All pupils also need practice in timing their work.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 22/08/2026 08:28

He doesn't really know, which is fair enough at 17.

He is very good at drama and that's his part-time job. Also very techy (though got a 2 in GCSE Computer Science - see above re: exams). He spends a lot of his spare time making electronic music, but won't pursue a qualification in it. Likes animals.

My sense is that he needs to get another job, spend time out of the house around other people, including young people, and mature a bit. Get his LS FS under his belt then look for apprenticeships next year. He'll be 18 by then, which might make it harder to find post-GCSE ones, I guess.

I'm beyond feeling exasperated with him, I think. More that being good at exams makes life easier at his age. It won't be like this forever, but this bit is tough.

Thanks again all.

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WaneyEdge · 22/08/2026 06:47

Shinyredbicycle · 21/08/2026 21:54

I think his resistance to college is lack of self-confidence. He wouldn't consider even going to open evenings in Y11 or Y12. I made him come to an open day earlier this year ( with a view to starting Y12 again) and he stormed out after the ( very low key) introductory talk, obviously overwhelmed.

His part-time job is teaching drama to very young children. He loves it. There's not scope to extend his hours (only 5 a week) but maybe he can get some voluntary work or a TA apprenticeship.

He was saying earlier that he'd just like to get a job in a supermarket or something, which would be fine except it's so hard for young people to get jobs these days esp without maths. He also needs to be in EET for another year by law.

I keep repeating this on here but nothing happens if he isn’t in EET. Just can’t claim benefits for being unemployed. What does he want to do as a career?

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 22/08/2026 06:40

I mentioned L2 FS maths to him again last night and he was interested. I said I'll l'd send him a link, but got a bit confused with the websites.

I'll have another look today.

Thanks.

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clary · 22/08/2026 00:52

What is his reaction to the suggestion of L2 FS maths? My DS was struggling with employment until he passed L2 FS English and once he could put that o his CV he was able to get hospitality and retail roles.

I think if he got the FS maths it would open those kinds of doors. YY also possibly a TA apprenticeship.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 21/08/2026 21:54

I think his resistance to college is lack of self-confidence. He wouldn't consider even going to open evenings in Y11 or Y12. I made him come to an open day earlier this year ( with a view to starting Y12 again) and he stormed out after the ( very low key) introductory talk, obviously overwhelmed.

His part-time job is teaching drama to very young children. He loves it. There's not scope to extend his hours (only 5 a week) but maybe he can get some voluntary work or a TA apprenticeship.

He was saying earlier that he'd just like to get a job in a supermarket or something, which would be fine except it's so hard for young people to get jobs these days esp without maths. He also needs to be in EET for another year by law.

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Rachie1974 · 21/08/2026 21:18

What's his resistance to college, is it not basically the same as a sixth form, just a different title?

Bagpuss2022 · 21/08/2026 21:01

This is awful my son despite never passing maths GCSE (9 attempts) did levels 1,2 and 3 of his plumbing NVQ and is now a fully qualified plumber earning 44k at 22 he obviously uses some maths but relies on apps etc I hope you can sort this

moodamoo55 · 21/08/2026 20:33

Hi, my daughter has just done an btec extended diploma in musical theatre. There were zero exams, just bits of written coursework related to what they were doing. She found it so much better than her gcses, as it was heavily practical, and the pressure of excessive written work wasn't there and she could just do it from home, they'd mark it say what improvement they wanted and she'd resubmit. As he wants to do drama the extended diploma is perfect and would lead to the drama ba degree course, if he wanted to do that, which I don't think has exams either. It'll give him the ucas points he needs and loads of experience. My daughter went into it and wasn't predicted to do that well because of her gcse results, but ended up with an amazing result D*DD. A lot of her year group are going to top drama schools for their degrees, so the extended diploma is a good choice, if the exams and revision are too much mentally.

XelaM · 21/08/2026 19:49

Can he not get a job teaching kids drama or something like that? He wouldn't need Maths GCSE for this. I know someone who failed all GCSEs and has found a nice job working with kids.

Original poster

Shinyredbicycle · 21/08/2026 19:31

Indeed it would be. An extended BTech in performing arts would be exactly the right thing for him to do

See my previous posts about his unwillingness to engage with this eminently sensible idea.

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