Year 7 parent nervous about son commuting to school alone.

As others have said, I did a couple of practice runs and then my DS refused to let me come along again! They get used to it very quickly and it’s a valuable life skill.

I don't drive either and yes my child went on the bus first time by herself to high school. Hers is a lot further than 4 stops!
It was fine. yes we did a couple of practice runs in the summer holidays both of us. When school started i did go with her to school and picked her up from school on the bus i think that was probably for the first few weeks. Although to be honest it didn't take long for me to feel like i was a bit surplus to requirements anyway as she was just chatting to her friends!
You might well know this anyway as you don't drive so i'm presuming you use buses anyway but i always use to Moovit app for buses to check when buses are and also if i'm going anywhere new cos it tracks your journey realtime and tells you when to get off. so i've shown her how to use it too a couple of times when i'm with her. and put it on her phone. so if she's stuck somewhere new she can use it to get to where she needs to be or use it to see when the next bus is etc.
But 4 stops doesn't sound like he'll get into much trouble anyway,

I worried so much! But you do get used to it gradually. Do practice runs - one where you show him what to do, then one where you shadow him from a distance. Track him on your phone if you’re worried.

There will be hundreds of kids around during the school run time doing the same or much longer journeys.

I agree with others @caramelchic, it will be fine and many secondary-age DC make their own way to school. Has he had any independence already – so does he walk to primary (if not, I would start now, or at least drop him a short distance away so he can walk the last bit), does he go to the park to play with friends, walk to the local shop? How is his road sense? Start any or all of these now, with emphasis on good road sense (but I imagine he has this already as if you walk everywhere you will have taught him). I bet he will love the independence.

My DD starts secondary school in September. We've already done practice runs. We've been building her independence for years so this feels like a natural if big step. Unfortunately she can't walk to primary school as it is significantly further away but she's been making progression bigger walks to the postbox, shop etc since she was 8. I'm happy for her to walk and I would be happy with a bus or train if it was further away but there isn't a particularly safe cycle route so I've said she needs to get a bit bigger and better at cycling before she cycles.

One stop on the train and a short walk at the other end sounds pretty good, too. When DS1 and DD were at a school three stops and a 10-15 minute walk at the other end (7 minutes actually on the train, less than 5 minutes' walk from home to the station), we were able to get discounted scholars' season tickets which were brilliant for meeting up with friends in town at the weekend. I don't know whether they're avaliable now (here or anywhere else), but it's worth investigating whether there is a local scheme.

An obvious time for a school journey trial run is transition day, if you get an accompanied trip or two in beforehand?

@caramelchic if you don't drive, do you literally have everything thing you ever need within walking distance? Do you never make journeys by bus or train with your DS normally, so that he has a 'feel' for making sure get off at the right stop etc?

I think lots of parents feel like this at this time, the leap to secondary can feel big but they soon get the hang of it.

Does he walk on his own to primary? If not get him doing that. As others have said, do some practice runs, and see if there are others going the same way. Discuss a few scenarios eg if he misses his bus how long until the next one

It’s a great boost in confidence for kids this age to start doing this sort of thing on their own. He’ll be an old hand in no time

Mine did an hour train into London and then another train out to school. 90 minutes each way.
I went with them the first day and never again.
Smart phone with tracker and all the different apps for tickets and timetables was an essential.

My DD (journey - 20 minutes walk, 30 minutes train, 15 minutes walk - and only knowing one other girl) on her first day had the train home cancelled. You know what - she was ok. Got off the train, on to another train and arrived home rather later than expected. Good preparation for the rest of her secondary school life.

Incidentally, the long journey to school has meant that normal longish commutes seem… well, normal to her.

It's normal year 7 worry OP. But you've got time to practice this before September and encourage his independence.

They change enormously in that first term and he'll be travelling all over the place with new friends by xmas.

Do make sure that your child knows that he might have to cross either the road or the station to get the bus or train back. I am amazed that they don’t realise this but we didn’t have a car as a family do knew all about public transport transport from a young age. I have heard about children who just get on the bus or train at the stop they got of so then they go in the wrong direction direction

I was nervous because I anticipated my son being afraid. I planned to accompany him for the first week but he seems to have grown up massively in the last few months (physically and emotionally) and is now telling me he'll go on his own.

He has done a few short solo bus journeys between his dad's house and mine and I think that really helped.

It's normal for kids in London to use public transport for secondary school. My son used to feel sorry for the boy driven to school and then escorted to the door of the school. Another one at a different school had BOTH parents waiting at the tram stop with him until the tram came when when he was 15/16.

Get him to go places alone/with friends this summer and practise the route. It sounds like a pretty simple journey.

I understand, it is a worry, but this is an important part of growing up and gaining some independence, and he will be fine.
I did a practice run with my DD over the summer holidays and then sent her alone to practice (nerve wracking but she was fine).
Assuming he will have a mobile so can contact you if any problems.
Run through some scenarios with him so he has some confidence what to do.
He may also meet some friends travelling the same way so they will have some safety in numbers- my DD has a little gang of “bus friends”.

He will be fine. They all do it. And of course you're nervous. He's your little boy - but honestly they manage.
Absolutely do trial runs. I did that with both of mine as they had to get a train to school and then walk for 20 minutes. Once they understand the process and the route, it becomes second nature to them

We did practice runs. Also think about different scenarios like - what to do if the trains are cancelled. What to do if you get on train going the wrong way. What to do if you lose your ticket or it’s on your phone but the battery is dead etc

Aww, my DD is starting high school in September, I'm nervous for her ( she's very excited )

We've done a few practise walks, she knows which buses she could get / where to get off.

It's really helped me cutting the journey down In my mind 😅

She goes to the library a lot which is 10 minutes from our house. So this is a safe zone in my mind ( my friend also has a shop round the corner )

And it's only 11 minutes from the "safe zone"

Also - what was your school route like? I realised last night that my school journey was a 26 minute bus ride or an 80 minute walk 😅 .... that made me feel better remembering that I used to do a big ( ish ) journey on my own and was okay.

It's normal to worry a little I think, I'm sure our children will be fine and love it, but for me personally it's really difficult knowing she's going off into the world and I won't be there alongside her making sure she's okay 😅

He will be absolutely fine. He needs this independence- it’s part of growing up and being ready for life.

If he misses the bus, loses his bus pass, meets a bully - it’s al part of life. Important to learn for himself!

He will be fine. He is probably more resourceful, and smarter than you think. You will be having kittens the first day or two he has to do it, and then you will realise he is more capable than you thought.
My son had to get a tube and train home at age 11 when he missed his school coach. I was so anxious! He managed to leave his wallet somewhere on the journey but he got home in one piece and even the wallet showed up, as a kind stranger picked it up and handed it in, and they were able to trace him through his school as his library card was in it. He goes all over the place on the train now, and keeps his wallet securely zipped away!

Yup, practice runs - he'll get it very quickly, I'm sure.

Yes, do practice runs over the summer. How does he currently get to school? If it's walkable, he should start walking to and from independently a few days a week starting now. If it's not, and you have to drive him, consider dropping him off around the corner so that he's walking at least part of the way independently. Get him a key cut and start the habit of having a key.

DD and I did two practice runs of the most common route and one of the alternative. First one together, second one we pretended not to know each other so she had to take lead herself.

Remember OP that there will be lots of school children on the route come term time. He will probably find he knows some of them.

Agree do a few practice runs and also start allowing him to go out independently- ideally with a friend.

How does he get to primary school, can he walk himself there?

Get him used to going out and about on his own. My GS (going to secondary in September) has been allowed to arrive at and leave school unaccompanied since the beginning of year 5 so he has been dropped off or met (by prior arrangement) at ‘the stones’, his sister’s school, the Health Centre, local cafe etc. Result is that he is confident to navigate the area alone or with friends and knows where to go in case of problems - he does not yet have any type of phone.

Do practice runs over the summer, both on the bus and train. Show them how to use the bus and train apps on the phone. Discuss what happens if the bus is late, cancelled etc.

There’ll be lots of other people doing the same trip.

Yes, it’s normal worry, but he’ll be fine,