Pregnant teacher struggling with Year 9 behaviour: how should I handle Monday?

Get signed off and refuse to go back until the school can provide a safe environment for you to work in.

Sorry that your HOD appears to be unsupportive.

Please do put your request in writing and ask for a meeting to talk about specifically what they can do to support you.

It's our job to have the backs of our colleagues who are struggling. For example, while you should also be phoning home (or emailing if you can't face the abuse), your HOD should be putting those kids on HOD report, phoning home, arranging meetings with the parents and HOY, and escalating where necessary - because it's likely an unmet need. That's what we get paid a TLR for.

[edit to add] And when you get signed off sick after May half term, you'll have the evidence you need to show that you tried reaching out and were just dismissed.

Sorry, I should have also added that it's ok to say to your HOD that you need some support with this class. It's not unusual for me (dragon of a teacher) to go into my team's classes when they're struggling to reassert school expectations.

Hi, HOD and union rep here.

Given your context, evacuate the classroom. Send an oncall email to tell them you've had to do this for the safety of yourself and the other pupils, line all the kids up outside, wait for SLT to come sprinting down the corridor.

You cried because your body is being flooded with hormones and you felt absolutely powerless. It's ok to say to the kids: I didn't feel well, I'm better now. As it goes, it would also be ok to crack out the Starburst and narrate the positives. Perhaps even make some time at the end of the each school day to make a couple of positive calls home to kind of reset your own sense of what's great about teaching and how you're a great teacher.

Great! I would honestly not hesitate to go off sick and ask for a risk assessment before you return if needed. Or put your foot down and say I'm not teaching her, if SLT refuse to move her, the stress is affecting you and baby too much to come back.

I've seen all sorts of bs from SLT. Been physically attacked, had a colleague be badly physically attacked by a student and student was allowed to sit in reception on her phone at the end of the school day, both expected back in on Monday. Even at my current school I did Ofsted just before my due date, was on my knees helping kids understand the work next to their desk, dragging myself across campus for assemblies with bad pelvic pain. At some point you're allowed to say enough is enough - and the quality of staff who actually applied for my mat cover was shocking. They ought to be trying their best to keep you. (Edit: a real shame for the children in your classroom just trying to learn as well)

Hi OP I really feel for you! I used to work in a school that sounds very similar but luckily had moved to a much easier school before I was pregnant.

Do you mean you've given notice and won't be returning after summer? Or that you'll be off on mat leave at some point next academic year?

If I was you, I would just calmly move this girl through the behaviour system until you can get her removed from class. What's the policy for when they've been given an on call / C3, can you ask her to wait outside where you can see her and too bad if she walks off?

You're early enough in your pregnancy that going off sick won't trigger an early start of your mat leave. You don't like the school, don't care about burning bridges here not that it should matter too much for sickness leave, but we all know how it works. Frankly I'd go to my GP and say the stress of the job is affecting my health and I'm worried about my baby. Get signed off until just before summer if you need to. Your SLT sound absolutely crap and you don't owe them anything.

I know PP have mentioned about building relationships etc, I'm great at this too - there will still always be the odd kid that just hates you because you're the one seemingly putting them through that class they can't stand and they don't want to know about all your attempts to show them you're on their side. Maybe in another couple of years she might suddenly decide you're alright, but you don't need to stick around that long.

Then if she refuses to go (tbh sending kids out is not really a punishment as that’s usually what they want), you note it, ignore her completely and you get on with teaching. Then you fill in an incident report later on and report to your SLT.
Being rude back undermines you, wastes lesson time and shows you up in front of the decent students. Teachers should not be speaking like that.

I’d ring in sick and get signed off by my GP for a few weeks. You will hopefully feel a bit less tired in your pregnancy by then.

This. Focus on those who want to learn and ignore her childish behaviour.
and don’t stoop to her lever of rudeness. ‘get out of room now’ is a rude way to talk. Keep i control and your temper in check or these rude kids will feed off it like animals at a trough.

You’re mixing the two issues. Pregnancy is not really relevant here - it sounds like you’ve always struggled with her.

What’s your behaviour policy? Follow it to the letter. Welcome her, the first time she steps out of line, ok X that’s your first warning, ok that’s your second warning, ok now we need you to leave. Don’t argue, don’t stoop to her level with emotive ‘get out now’, just we need you to leave now. If she won’t leave, move your class (pre-empt this by knowing what rooms are free at the time you’re teaching). I would aim to get this done pretty early in the lesson if you can.

What is your curriculum leader doing to support you? We would move this child for a lesson or two to give the class some respite.

As for what you say to the class, they probably won’t remember or mention it. Just say oh yes I wasn’t feeling well, or oh yes it’s frustrating when I know most of you want to get on and we can’t.

Year 9 are horrible in options subjects they’re not taking at this time of year - we don’t tell them if they’ve got their option choices until much later in the year for this very reason.

Not long til half term and then it’s almost summer and it sounds like you won’t have to deal with her again.

In fact have underlining how non intimidatory she is by talking about her like a toddler missing sleep. She is overtired, hangry or a grumpalumpa. Take the narrative back!

Just get angry - that isSLT letting you down (or some staff knowing there are serious extenuating issues that haven’t been shared). Your confidence comes from the generality not the specific teens. The less you care the more likely she is to behave!

Tie them all up and put them in the store cupboard. 😆 🤣. I honestly feel for you with just being a teacher, must be a very hard job keeping them all in line, never mind adding a pregnancy into the mix. ❤️

Well if the class is with you just grey rock her - don’t give her any energy. I think with the niceness you have to have an edge too. You don’t sound confident and it’s the confidence that makes classes feel contained. Don’t let one tricky child take any from you - it is them not you!
I was thinking after I posted that although nice I am also quite fierce - kids know which version they want to see. Guess at least you won’t see her again in the classroom after the next half term. work on upping your self confidence, your eyebrow raise and don’t feel like it’s personal. You could remind her of an aunty she hates, make her feel inferior by some measure you would never think of, who knows…

Get support but you also need support with behaviour management. Who can you learn from in school? It’s hard when you are stuck in the thick of it but it’s not fixed that she will be awful and you will struggle. Have you had some facilitated restoratives with her? Have you found out her interests? Connection is easier than opposition and gives you more leverage ultimately.
Really who cares if she hates you or if she can’t manage her emotions - it doesn’t make any big difference to you but approach her with understanding and humour. Always be polite - “I would love you to have a good lesson tomorrow but now you are on step whatever and have to leave…” never “Get out now” type comments.
Acknowledge the tears and explain you were ill or pregnant whatever you want to share and be clear that you feel much better. You can’t cry - if you wouldn’t usually see your GP - who can support you. Who brings perspective and humour - which colleagues can help? If it’s a good school people should help. Every teacher has been there and it can be a learning point - what changes to keep you happy and the classes supportive? I teach in a really tough school and am allegedly good with behaviour - in reality I am good at getting to know the children and I am very friendly. It creates a big gap between the ones who like me and the naysayers and it shifts the balance in my favour. I take the work seriously so the kids do to and that gives them a rational for high classroom standards.
If someone is very rude I am more likely to say ‘goodness’ and pull a funny face than to do anything else as the message is that this is a surprise akin to a toddlers tantrum and we will come back to issue later. At the most I will calmly repeat a sanction ‘ahh well sadly you will have to … again so that means… yes there is nothing more to discuss now you will be … as I said you will … we will discuss later when you are calmer” No justification, discussion just implacable confidence.
it’s a tough job OP and the early weeks of pregnancy suck - it’s should all get easier!

If you health is struggling you need to put you and your baby first. You need to see your GP and be signed off and go back only when you are fit and well and other the class is removed or certain individuals are and there is more support for sanctions.