Pregnant teacher struggling with Year 9 behaviour: how should I handle Monday?

Really? That's awful. I found even the meanest boys changed their attitude a bit. However some are in their own.little worlds and what's important to them, nothing g else is registered.

You'd hope so but idk I had some crap behaviour from some students while pregnant and it was after I'd moved to a nicer school. Just horrible winding up, "why are you still here, go on maternity leave already". Absolutely in the minority as I've been lucky to teach so many brilliant, lovely kids but ooh it was extra annoying.

And just inconsiderate things like kids trying to push through a single doorway at the same time as me + massive bump, expecting me to move a table for them by myself while very heavily pregnant. That one outraged another student!

Been there , done that. Get signed off for stress. Don't go back until SLT have put measures in place to support you. Good luck.

Have they carried out a risk assessment for you. Make sure there is one specific to you.

I'm not a teacher but I have worked with young children.

If the other children are ok with you can you not get them on side to get her in line?

So if you ask her to leave and she won't tell the other children that everyone is just going to sit and not learn until she leaves as you won't have her disrupting everyone else's learning. Would the others not get her to leave to save having to sit and be bored? If they all believe she is going to cause them to fail their exams then they might care.

Just an idea, no idea what works with secondary school kids!

It's awful when one or several pupils deliberately disrupt, along when all the other lower level behaviours, so challenging. I think it's only fair they're told you're pregnant, it may or may not make a difference but usually does. A rub of your tum when dealing with the disgusting behaviour and any young person with a heart will immediately address the reaction, unless completely out of control with no morals.

Where has the support gone, looking out for each other etc.

Fairly old person and ex teacher here. Genuinely wondering why behaviour is so awful now. It was deteriorating 10 years ago when I left; looking back at my own schooldays many years ago I don’t recall anything like this.No clearing classrooms because of chairs being thrown, no children biting and hitting staff. Yes, there were special schools for the very obviously special needs and what were called emotionally disturbed, but most children were in mainstream. And no, they weren’t caned. Most parents were slightly in awe of teachers and the head then though. I know diagnosis is more prevalent now, nut surely this should improve behavioural management provision? Doesn’t seem to be helping.

How forthright is your union rep? They really should be putting in an official grievance on your case on the following points.

1. This child is causing issues across the school to different members of staff,so this is not an " emotional pregnancy response" and to suggest such is patronisingly sexist.
2. The school wide strategy of " on call " is not working whatever the documentation says. If possible give examples of times where this has happened. Ask to see the " on call timetable" and ask where the accountability is for the SLT member who did not turn up. It is not acceptable for SLT to schedule other tasks or meetings on their timetabled " on call slot". They should be held accountable for where they were when they should have been supporting you.
3. Ask to see the written documentation of why this child is being treated differently in terms of sanctions and home contact. Point out that your HOD is not contacting home as outlined in the plan and has taken no management responsibility for coming up with alternative provision or intervention with this child within your curriculum area. ( In my own dept as HOD I would have arranged for a pack of work and this child to be collected and put in the back of a 6 th form lesson for a couple of weeks to give the teacher and the rest of the class a respite. The rest of the dept staff, and other 6 th form staff would be up for sharing this rooming arrangement and frankly would be more supportive than you seem to imply of your colleagues)
4. Finally, summarise that the management have a duty of care towards you regardless of whether you are pregnant or not and that paperwork proporting to be a behaviour plan should be fit for purpose and actually work

Good plan. You're right. Its ridiculous they aren't sorting this out.

Im not saying they get a free pass, nor am I saying it’s acceptable I’m simply pointing out some of the factors that could be causing this behaviour in a teen who is also going through the puberty stage. It is 100% down to the school and their SEN team to get to the bottom of this and put things in place. Factors like home environments, medication, hormones, struggles, not coping and finding work hard can be the deeper issues here. The SEN team should be listening to the teachers and making plans to support this student and helping her cope. If not then other things need to be put in place. Everything needs to be documented and provided as evidence. EHCP referrals, EP involved even as little as talking to her and listening to her as to why she behaving in this way can help. If she’s just being chucked out of class rooms, suspended and given detentions that’s not dealing with the actual issue it’s pushing her aside and singling her out which will just cause more back lash and behaviours.

I’m glad you have seen the effectiveness.

I had no idea about this sort of stuff, I remember when he was diagnosed at 6 I was like what is ADHD as it was his primary school that referred him, I did research and I was shocked that I hadn’t noticed it as a parent. I just thought it was normal behaviours of a child not realising there was an underlying issue. I was completely oblivious! I had a lot of guilt but as his parent I fought for him and now he’s in a better place with education and I’m very thankful. I do find a lot of children with SEN show these behaviours as a way of them telling you they are struggling and not being able to cope. Also take into account that puberty is about and I tell you something that was the hardest part for me puberty, hormones and ADHD! It can be confusing for them as their hormones are all over the place and the transition to becoming an adolescent can also affect their behaviour. ADHD brains cannot process things like our brains so it’s all very confusing and they don’t always understand.

But this all takes time, as you’ve said, and in the meantime this girl is still in lessons making everyone else’s life a nightmare - the school is failing all of them by not dealing with her appropriately. She is taking all the time and energy of the teacher which means the other 20-however many kids are not getting the lesson they deserve AND the poor teacher is stressed and more likely to leave or go off sick.

I don’t know how we’ve ended up in this ludicrous situation in schools where the majority of the “good” kids are petrified of getting a detention for looking at someone in the corridor or not tucking their shirt in, yet the badly behaved kids (whatever the reason for the bad behaviour; if they are arrested for assault or criminal damage - you mentioned throwing chairs - the fact that they might have ADHD won’t stop them from being charged) get a free pass for behaviour that is completely unacceptable.

If it's likely that students will talk about you crying, I'd address it. Providing you're happy to announce your pregnancy, I'd calmly explain that you're pregnant and pregnancy can make people a bit more emotional than normal, especially at the start.

This has the potential benefit of turning peer pressure on the girl to be nicer to you too (I went to a similar sounding school and "Laura is so funny, she made miss cry" would quickly turn to "what the hell Laura, Miss is pregnant, I can't believe you made a pregnant lady cry"... not sure on the ethics of this but 🤷‍♀️"

Just quickly also I can imagine how stressful it is being pregnant and having to deal with this kind of behaviour, that is also not acceptable. Means the SEN team need a kick up their butts into supporting her so teachers like yourself can teach. Teachers like yourself should be supported and it’s not ok they are not putting these things in place.

I think maybe then she needs an EHCP application, the SEN team can refer her for this and can give all the evidence over that needs to be provided, this will then get the school more funds to put more things in place to support her. If this doesn’t work the school can then move to the next steps which will be educational psychologist, the school needs to record everything so they can provide the evidence needed that the mainstream school environment is not for her and she needs to be somewhere else, it takes some time trust me I’ve been through it but I would definitely speak to the head and the SEN team to get things rolling. It seems as though a mainstream school is not for her, if she stays at this school it will fail her because of her additional needs she will not get the education she deserves which will have an impact on her future.

To be fair I was never a volatile or a threatening parent, I just made sure I was at the meetings and recording the behaviours at home, I was following the steps and doing my part so my son could be placed where he needed to be. Some parents just may not know how to deal with it all and deal with it differently I know it’s a very stressful time and it’s very mentally taxing. I’m a single parent and didn’t have the support of a partner at the time so had to deal with it all myself.

The outcome? My son is now home tutored, yes he is behind because of the amount of education he has missed due to suspensions and part time tables but he has just completed his mocks. He has thrived more having a 1-1 tutor where as when he was in a mainstream he literally point blank refused to any work what so ever. So for me it’s a major improvement.

I think it is appalling that you are expected to put up with this behaviour, pregnant or not. This girl is being taught (by SLT, not you) that there are no consequences to her actions - even if there are other issues you don’t know about (and tbh you should be told about them if they are affecting her behaviour in your class) she still needs to learn that she can’t dick about, be rude, refuse to follow instructions and nothing happens to her. This would not be accepted at work. I would go off sick if I were you OP, especially given the lack of support from your head of department and SLT. I am glad you have a nicer school to move to in September.

As an aside, this is why parents fight tooth and nail to get their kids into the “nice” schools - to avoid awful kids like this girl who thinks she rules the roost and can stop everyone else from learning.

As a parent with a child who has a diagnosis of ADHD and had all this when he was in a mainstream school, she needs proper SEN care and the appropriate support. It could be a case of her struggling with the work and not being able to do it hence the behaviour, has she got a plan in place? Has she got a EHCP? Has the school put all the correct steps in and been keeping a recording of all of these issues and behaviour? If so she will need the next steps an education psychologist as maybe a mainstream school is not suitable for her. It took me years to get my son a suitable education environment. It was constant meetings, suspensions, part time tables, phone calls, social services, police it was extremely draining and mentally exhausting. It maybe a case that there needs to be a meeting with the Sen and the parents about the next steps because she’s clearly struggling.

The parents maybe also being this way because they are also mentally and emotionally exhausted? Have they got support too as this could also be happening at home?

As much as I can only imagine how difficult it is for a teacher to try and tackle this behaviour there is barely any help and support for children with SEN in mainstream schools and in my opinion it’s a major issue in many schools all over the country as they are just labelled the ‘naughty kids’ when the issue is deeper. When my son was in mainstream I realised he was struggling with the work, he also got a diagnosis of dyslexia and he is incapable of being able to process certain things. The school just kept suspending him and punishing him but his way of showing he was struggling was acting out and being ‘the naughty child’ he would talk back, turn over tables, skip classes, shout out, name call and threaten.

The education department is a major let down for kids with SEN. There is not enough support for these children and there should be more training for teachers as to how to deal, cope and support SEN children.

Just seen you’ve only got the next few weeks to go. In that case I’d call in sick if they don’t start supporting you next week.

Why does she get away with that?! Have you spoken to SLT about this? Seems like it’s making her think she’s untouchable