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Original poster

GCSE help- motivation all gone!

33 replies

OldCat79 · 03/05/2026 21:03

My daughter has been hard to motivate for exam revision and I thought we had cracked it at Easter but she seems to have given up, says she knows she won’t get everything done in some subjects so there’s no point even doing practice papers. She’s says she thinks she’ll do fine but has excepted that she won’t get the grades she wanted at the start of the year but she has left it too late. She won’t follow a revision plan ( we have tried!) won’t follow suggestions of regular breaks and change in revision styles and I don’t know what to do next. There is no point getting mad as it won’t help and she is stubborn so that would make her do even less. She doesn’t have social media and she is pretty good at keeping her phone downstairs when working so I don’t think it’s distraction, more an inherent issue that she feels what’s the point.
she says it’s boring and who cared what you get at GCSE anyway and she’ll just start afresh for A levels.
I’ve tired calmly to support her and offer suggestions for changing things up. Nothing seems to get through.
she is capable but diagnosed a year ago with a processing problem but she has dealt well with extra time and done pretty well in mocks too.
has anyone else a similar issue with their teen?
im not sure how to navigate the next 5 weeks- it’s not forever but I know she will be disappointed with herself if she hasn’t tried once this stubbornness wears off.
Ive emphasised so many times that we are not pushing for grades as long as she tried her best. Its so frustrating

OP posts:
aspacefordifference · 04/05/2026 09:31

Onthesofawithmydog · 04/05/2026 09:26

Honestly I think it’s probably best just to step back. It sounds as though she’s going to do fine, ok not as well as she could do with more work but I don’t think that’s something you’re going to be able to change from outside as a mum. It comes from internal motivation and if she doesn’t have it, it’s hard to get that from the outside. She might do better than you think if she remembers all her mocks revision. It’s very hard as parents at this stage but time to step back and let them make their own mistakes, and decisions even if those seem pretty big ones.

This is my thoughts too. You said it better than I could. I was the same as a teen and my parents were disappointed that I didn't do as well as predicted but it was too much for me to revise. I did well and it really doesn't matter what my GCSE results are now.

I'm up and down with my own daughter as she's at risk of failing and having to do resits but I know it's all her own intrinsic motivation that gets her going and my pressure has the opposite effect. She's also battled Ill health and we didn't know if she'd ever get back to education so I'm trying to see the bigger picture. I think the external pressure all around us can make us panic! It's all life lessons and they'll find their own way, I'm sure!

Onthesofawithmydog · 04/05/2026 09:26

Honestly I think it’s probably best just to step back. It sounds as though she’s going to do fine, ok not as well as she could do with more work but I don’t think that’s something you’re going to be able to change from outside as a mum. It comes from internal motivation and if she doesn’t have it, it’s hard to get that from the outside. She might do better than you think if she remembers all her mocks revision. It’s very hard as parents at this stage but time to step back and let them make their own mistakes, and decisions even if those seem pretty big ones.

aspacefordifference · 04/05/2026 09:07

I was the same at school and now my daughter is similar too, pushing just creates avoidance. I think you're in a difficult position and it's tricky to witness, I feel it at times too. As long as she can get the grades to continue with A-Levels I wouldn't worry too much. We're teachers and can't motivate our own kid lol! Is there anything that motivates her? A way in?

Original poster
OldCat79 · 04/05/2026 07:51

Thanks for replies. She did well in her French mock 8 I think and teachers encouraged her to do French.
its not so much advice on A levels I need more tips on how to get her motivated to revise! Its mainly for the sciences I run the risk of making things worse if I tell her “ you need to do well to get accepted at 6th form” She knows that.

I know I can’t be alone. I don’t know if there’s much more I can do other than be consistent and try not to lose my temper and hope to God she doesn’t completely flunk the sciences. I guess part of me is just really disappointed in her attitude.

OP posts:
clary · 03/05/2026 22:18

What will she get in French? French A level with anything less than a grade 7 is not a good idea (MFL is my subject) – not to be annoying, but because your verbs and tenses plus basic GCSE vocab need to be secure before you start A level (as the work will just build on that) and if they are secure, you will be gaining at least a grade 7.

Original poster
OldCat79 · 03/05/2026 21:44

shes quite bright and I think she’ll
pass them all but with maybe getting 6’s when I know she could get 8/9s. It’s the sciences she hates and she’s doing French geog and business A level
I’ll try and get a friend who teaches in a 6th form college to talk to her- she
probably go mad🙄

OP posts:
clary · 03/05/2026 21:35

Yes I agree, what A levels does she want to take? It’s not as simple as starting afresh; if she wants to take maths, science, MFL, they totally build on knowledge from GCSE. Even text and topic based subjects like English lit and history use skills from GCSE. Yes many sixth forms have min grade requirements- and taking A level science or French with a GCSE grade 5 will be a struggle.

Could she focus at this stage on a few key subjects? She needs maths, Eng lang, science ideally and then whatever she might study post 16. Would that help reduce the overwhelm? I do recognise that and see it in my DD.

wafflesmgee · 03/05/2026 21:22

Do you have any friends in HR who could chat with her? Along the lines of if there r two candidates for one job sometimes GCSEs will sway it
also my husband works in a sixth form college and they don’t accept children with low gcse grades on a level courses, you could try phoning a college admissions adviser and asking what their criteria is. Even if your CV kid doesn’t revise more at least you can say I told you so when they can’t do the levels they wanted to. Does she realise the consequences of this?
sometimes you have to let them fail to succeed later… you could take her to an adult gcse English evening class and have them point out how much harder it is to do when older