Daughter being excluded from prom

They are not my assumptions! All those things are here on this thread! That's what people think is happening!

And I'm overthinking it? @Warmlight1

You have just made up a long list from A to J, half of which is your own speculation and assumptions. Of course you are overthinking it!

No I've not argued inviting everyone at any point. Think we agree there. I agree it's overblown as well. There should in my view be a simple risk assessment for pupils for whom the event will be too much it should be communicated well in advance before the invites go out and maybe alternatives looked at. It should not be seen or promoted at that stage as a sanction for transgressions.

The non payment If the teachers is a big issue. If the teachers were paid that would go some way to solve the problem. You sound as if the incentive for the teachers in this process is getting their own back. I know the teachers are better than that but anyone can get frazzled. Even in prisons- some would say especially- there's a need to counter burn out and it's a leadership job.

You might want to look at the definition of the term "confirmation bias" @Warmlight1 . One example when you've googled "prom where there were security staff police turned up" does not mean it's the norm.

Well not really- here is a prom where there were security staff- and police were also called and turned up- so seems schools are taking safety seriously and employing extra security staff as part of the assessed risk mitigation.
The parents are questioning the communication and process that's a separate issue I think. It's not airy fairy to expect an event not to be disturbed by having to evacuate everyone.
meonvalleytimes.co.uk/police-called-as-pupils-turned-away-from-school-prom-in-swanmore/

You're right @Warmlight1 that invitation to events may not be respected by some participants.

But that doesn't mean you invite everybody because they might turn up anyway. If they are risk assessed to not be a suitable risk to attend, then they would not be invited.

I'm not a teacher, but I'd assume like with anything like this a risk assessment would consider likely behaviour and mitigate risk by removing invites from those more likely to be harder to supervise.

You do seem to be arguing for both extremes here. That a prom is far too dangerous to hold, but also that all kids, irrespective of behaviour should attend it.

It's a bloody party! It's some crisps, some pop and music FFS! It's attendance at school, slightly out of school hours. It's a voluntary act by teachers so they're under no obligation to invite the little shits who have made their lives hell for 5 years. It's not Glastonbury. It's not a wedding. It's not a community event. It's an overblown US import that many kids on the ND spectrum will say "no thanks" to anyway.

In summary, it's really not a big fucking deal, the OP has been vague and deliberately so IMO because if she'd not been, she would easily have defended by she felt it to be unfair. But most importantly, the OP has long gone.

It wasn't highly likely that Timmy would turn up based on our previous experience with him. But he did. Obviously there was a risk assessment and the plan was to get rid of the other kids if someone dangerous turned up, so that's what we did.

This thread has just shown the difference between the airy fairy all can be redeemed world, and the real world.

Safety is non negotiable. If it can't be done safely enough within budget the responsibility unfortunately is not to run it. That should all be clear previous to the event.
Ok can you explain what the process is?

If they are not rational.whatever made you think being excluded from an event will have any effect or even be respected?
Risk assessment re individual pupils to determine whether they can safely attend yes. But all major events have a whole event risk assessment. That's basic health and safety. So it should cover the eventuality you described given you seem to think it's a strong possibility. And yes if there are real unresolved safety concerns consulting and involving the police is a good idea.

A simple risk assessment wouldn't change anything, as proved by Timmy turning up.

You're expecting the children and parents of excluded children to be rational. They aren't.

Schools - not all schools- have decided
A) to have a prom which everyone says is very troublesome
B) not only that but to have a performance type framework which connects to it
C) to award points to pupils over - how many years? 2/3/4?
D) to exclude some pupils right at the end of their school career on the basis of behaviour from 2/3/4 years ago?
E) that that is going to work as behaviour management ( because kids are well known for planning their behaviour months even years in advance)
F) whether it works or not it satisfies the teachers that justice is served so doesn't matter if it works
G) it's not about the excluded kids
H) it is about the excluded kids and they will benefit specifically from being excluded from a prom.
I) someone has to keep track of all that.
J) if an excluded pupil turns up.it might have to be evacuated anyway

I just suggested a simple risk assessment and sensitive communication about that since it's the end of their school career.

And I'm overthinking it?

Dear @Warmlight1. You have a very bizarre view of what a "large community event" is, as this is, by nature, private. Also if it's "highly likely someone threatening will turn up" then you've got the process wrong.

Community events requiring policing are charged for. At full cost.

See post to Lemonthyme above

You've experienced police turning up to prom?

Nope it's experience.

Prom doesn't really come under large community event.

I have known police to be on hand in large community events in a preventative way. PCSOs could do that. To run an event where it's highly likely someone threatening will turn up, and for the plan to be having to evacuate it- is what seems unrealistic to me. If you are in the position- expose kids to risk or don't have the events- it sounds appropriate for police to be involved.

I think considering how upset the OP is about this, that it would be very reasonable to assume that if they weren't making adjustments, that she'd have said so 20 pages back.

So you're now expecting police to turn up? They don't turn up to crimes in progress. That's very unrealistic.

Haha community police turn up.
Again you're showing how clueless you are.

You're overcomplicating it. You've turned a school party into a redemption ceremony!

Any child who has been at risk of exclusion from school has at some stage, been at fault.

The threshold for that is high, there are many steps involved, and schools can’t just do it.

OP’s DD being even close to that in the past implies at some point, she’s been at fault. The fact she’s still there implies there’s been some behavioural support to make that happen.

I’m reading between the same lines that you are, just getting different answers I think.

"Acknowledging transitions and well managed endings are central to resilience"

You are quite correct. Part of making it "well managed" is to publish behaviour standards and expectations so that is a safe, enjoyable experience for the students that attend

Unfortunately for OP, in this case, this has meant her daughter cannot attend.

Schools haven't excluded your child without a genuine reason but your experience isn't replicated in every school and for every pupil. Sometimes schools do get it wrong

I don't understand why people are incapable of recognizing that schools aren't infalable perfect oasis that never make a misstep

I think it's perfectly possible that the behaviour may be worse than OP knows (in which case schools should have discussed the actual situation with OP), or that OP is in denial or that the OP is justified that the school are unjustified.

I do not understand others blind faith that the school can not have done anything wrong and the pupil must always be at fault and therefore any punishment must be reasonable.

They haven’t banned her from prom incase they don’t like her dress.

There’ll be a reason. Schools don’t just exclude children from events without one.