Daughter being excluded from prom

But it's entirely possible their policies are inclusive.

The OP hasn't exactly elaborated much on her daughters behaviour though.

I would go to the local press/ social media about this tbh. Make then take notice

In my previous job, work do's were informal and organised by staff. If someone was barely at work due to sick leave, they would have just been forgotten about.

Perhaps because the OP doesn't think she did anything deserving of such a hard consequence, and from what I have read so far, I would agree with that point of view. Stopping someone - and I am sorry if this isn't PC enough - but particularly a teenager girl, from going to her prom under such circumstances, is both very unjust, and actually cruel as well.

They’d sack them for poor behaviour against company policy though. And this isn’t about attendance at all it’s about behaviour.

Going to the toilet isn’t the issue. Leaving class and then messing about, walking round the school and causing problems. This child was referred to a Pru. Are you going to go to the prom and keep an eye on these students? Give up YOUR evening? Or is this something someone else can do?

what about the other students who have tried hard, masked, made adjustments and worked hard? They don’t count, their efforts are for nothing because one badly behaved child is waving her autism card. By crying ableism and excusing poor behaviour you re the problem.

Work wouldn't exclude a member of staff from a staff party based on poor health.

There's a wide difference between behaving normally and some of the rules in schools that do discriminate. And masking to manage sensory overwhelm or masking be ause you are scared and worried does come at personal cost. Which is why we have lots of children burning out and unable to attend school.

Autism impacts people differently. 3 autistic siblings 1 masked and managed school but this has caused so much damage to metal health, one couldn't cope at all and can't even walk near a school.vuilding and the other loves schools and thrives in the structure.

But what we have learnt is needs are frequently not being met and many many autistic young people are being failed.

And that is why we have out of control young adults that think they can do as they please because they have parents that do as they please. Not doing this child any favours, just setting her up for a life of chaos and bad feeling.

They are not discriminating, they are treating all children equally. We need to stop making excuses for bad behaviour and I say this as a mother of three, two had sen, one on the spectrum.

You're right, cardibach; that was my silly mistake, though the point about us not knowing how far below the threshold she is still stands - as does whether school have the same view as OP about claimed improvements

As PPs have said these things are staffed voluntarily, and at a couple of local secondaries they've stopped them completely because the hassle of appalling behaviour and threatening parents simply became too much
This led several such parents to approach alternative venues with a view to running it themselves, except that word gets round and - knowing what was coming their way - the venues refused

So reminders - which the OP has ignored several requests to explain and could mean that she has to be told to do/not do things repeatedly before she complies (and these things coukd involve safety) uniform and ‘going to the toilet when not permitted’ which coukd well be code for leaving class without permission and wandering the halls.
So not in any way ‘because she needed to go to the toilet’ once or twice.

My dd has a toilet pass due to heavy periods. So she can get to the toilet. But some children may not have a toilet pass but still have a heavy period there and there. If they dont have a pass they cant go so thete would be a risk of leaking.

My dd leaves school once exams are done . Yet about a month ago they asked for another letter from the GP. Gp was not impressed and said the school shouldn't be asking. He did write a note Byt on the note he also added they should not be asking and they should be allowing children to go to the toilet.

Oh well, that's kinda tough then.

From the OP Although much improved her behaviour score is not high enough to meet the 90% prom threshold
Behaviour score. Not attendance.

Ah right, behaviour score.

I'm sorry, what?

What is her reason for being denied prom then?

The OP says the behaviour is reminders, uniform points and going to the toilet
so yes, that is what we are being told.
if there is more to it and the OP has not told us everything then the whole thread is pointless 🤷‍♀️

Once more. It’s not abput her attendance. Rad the OP at least. This constant misdirection is making the thread unreadable.

You are correcting a poster when you haven’t read the OP yourself! It’s not about attendance at all, but about a behaviour score!
Although much improved her behaviour score is not high enough to meet the 90% prom threshold

Some people on this thread seem to think that an autistic child can’t possibly be badly behaved and it’s always their autism causing the problem, never their own behavioural choice. When does this stop? When they turn 18? 20? 25? If an autistic 18 year old stabs and kills another human being, is that simply their autism acting rather than them? This is a dangerously slippery slope.
It’s this thinking that has got society into the state it’s in

Wise words, @Pricelessadvice

Even allowing for delays in diagnosis I was surprised to see that the National Autistic Society reckon it affects between 1-2% of people ... surprised because, to read threads where children have been subject to the least correction, you'd be forgiven for thinking it was the vast majority

Okay, I'm gonna try and be realistic here.

Schools have to enforce the correlation between students attending prom and their attendance.

I mean, if you don't go to school often enough, you're therefore not considered a part of the school community enough to entitle you the privilege of going to prom.

It's like being an employee, constantly being off on the sick and wondering why you didn't get invited to the Xmas works do.

I understand she has MH issues, but I guess this is the reality of these situations.

90% attendance does seem a pretty harsh attendance cut off though, I don't agree with that.

But I do absolutely agree with there being an attendance enforcement in line with prom invites.

It’s. Not. About. Attendance.

I'm very knowledgeable about masking. If it helps, before becoming a teacher I worked in clinical neuroscience specifically in the area of autism. So, you see, I really am very knowledgeable about masking. For example, it doesn't always come "at great personal cost." It's actually very worrying that people seem to think this. It suggests that autistic people can't behave 'normally' because they simply don't have the spoons to do this. And that kind of thinking is the actual discrimination.

Re: Asking to go to use the toilet, I can tell you now that all children who are assessed by their GP or Ed Psych as requiring a toilet pass are given a toilet pass. You don't end up on the road to PRU (which are hellishly expensive themselves) because you've got a weak bladder and your teachers are horrible. This isn't what's happening here. The current secondary I've worked in for years has never had one single child whose period has leaked through their clothes, and we've only dealt with one Y7 wetting himself when he got too caught up in PE. I know it's super fashionable at the moment to say this is totally widespread and a national scandal, but it isn't, it's some made up crap circulating in Facebook groups. It's unsurprising, given that we're living in a 'post truth' society that we've fallen into the trap of thinking if you say something often enough it must be true.