Daughter being excluded from prom

No I don't generally A previous poster talked about everything teachers have to put up with and the implication in some posts is no one should question the decision or policy ever especially not a parent 'because there must be a reason' and 'teachers do it voluntarily' .

I'm saying that proms are not a good way to work through sanctions and shouldn't be used like that- and I'm portraying the kind of power we don't want teachers ( who are very powerful people in relation to children) exercising.

Events which exclude young people for safety would normally be done through risk assessment and often the parent is co operative with that.
There's nothing in the OP that tells us there's a safety issue in the prom.
If there had been a risk assessment and parent disagreed the parent normally should have been involved in a conversation about how to mitigate it. She could be on hand for example? She's just been told something about behaviour points ' toilets uniform and reminders' and thinks a lot of it is historic.
The school appear to have a blanket policy of an amount of points. That's not indicating a specific risk in a prom situation. So there's no suggestion presented that she's a danger.
If the YP wants to go she should be there unless there is some insurmountable problem.
Like I said I think a lot of people don't believe the OP and believe there is a lot of missing information. That's possible. But a lot of people don't believe in anxiety either.

Families should not have to put up with the school and LA failure to provide the education and support a child with SEN needs but not only do we have to put up with it we pay the price and our child pays the price for education deprivation and trauma
And we get the blame for the system failing

Teaching staff shouldn't have to put up with badly behaved children at asocial occasion.

The child has been sanctioned for not complying with school uniform expectations. This has led to her being excluded from the prom, together with other behaviour and attendance issues. Keep up.
She is very immature and not grown up enough to attend the prom. She is not workplace ready. She is probably not well prepared for her college course.
Op still hasn't told us what her future career plans are. Maybe she would be better off getting a part time summer job instead of fretting over the stupid prom.

P.s. the last person I knew who was flaunting her prom photos was pregnant within 2 years. Not a great career choice

Again this isn't the child's fault it's a fault in the system
Children shouldn't be paying the price for school system problems

It's like the canary in the mine situation

Schools are no longer fit for purpose. They are causing so much damage it's just SEN children / autistic children are struggling first (they are the canary) but everyone is ignoring the issues and more canaries are struggling and kneeling over but apparently it's the canaries who are at fault not the mine.
When you child becomes the next canary - will you blame them or realise it's the mine ?

Because there aren't enough adults in the building or funding available. That's not the fault of the school. Ultimately these kids need to cope in the real world.

I didn’t make your assertions, it’s not on me to research the basis for them. Your AI post doesn’t back them up.

And lots of kids get no support or the wrong support

Very few kids are actually getting adequate support

@Dozer I haven’t got time to do all your research for you. As a starting point AI says this:

Psychological research consistently shows that authoritative parenting—often described as "firm but fair" or "warm and structured"—is the most effective style for promoting healthy child development.

Using this as base you can look at the multitude of tested, confirmed and retested psychological investigations and evidence.

Problem is there is an explosion of kids needing support. When 1 in 5 kids are identified as having a special need, it's not "special" anymore in a way, but the norm.

Perhaps you're right that school isn't working for anyone but it doesn't seem like the requirements now are that much different to when I was younger.

If the answer is meeting needs better, why have those needs exploded?

These kids get so much support in most cases and still act out and ruin the education for the rest. Take a girl I teach, she has 1:1 check-in 3 times a day, soft start, movement breaks, in class adjustments. Yet she's still on the phone loudly saying what a shit school we are, how no one gives a fuck etc. None of that is an unmet need, it's choice behaviour.

Thank you psychopathic was what I meant. A bit psychopathic. That's the policy not the people. Though it's possible it could be the people. Or a person.

What is your evidence for your assertions about the causes and treatment of mental health and neurodiversity, then, @Thetreesaregreeninspring ?

I would imagine that some of those creating the damage are children with unmet needs

If we do not meet need early and effectively then situations will occur.

A child with unmet needs is more likely to be me frustrated and more likely to do disruptive things.

My SEN child didn't as they were scared so much in school that they fawned but in many ways I sometimes wished they would act out because fawning resulted in the school being able to totally ignore their responsibility to support and educate. Whereas usually the more it impacts the teacher / school the more likely it is that the child will get support.

Most kids want to do well. However, most kids don't want to be seen as stupid by their peers. Being seen as naughty is preferred to being seen as thick

If we get the support right then we will see less infractions

Agree.

I've worked in food factories all of my life. There is a strict dress code which leads to disciplinary if not adhered to. As you have to change in and out of clothing (which takes time) to get to the toilet, you're expected to plan to go in break times that you get.

She wandered off to the toilet. That's an issue.

I don't believe the OP having heard many similar protests from parents over the years. "they were only....."

There's no dress code. It's a prom. Shes not going to get lost abroad whilst going to the toilet.

The issue is teachers do do so much in their own time. However, some children are not getting the support they need in school time. I would much rather schools focussed on actually ensure SEN kids get an education that is right and fair than schools spent so much time in other things that the actual needs get pushed further down the list of jobs.

It's not an individual teachers fault but the education system isn't meeting the needs of the most vulnerable and hasn't for years

What makes you think she wanders off? OP reports she was going to the toilet
I think a lot of people just don't believe the OP.

I'm with you on that if it's within the teachers capacity that's fine and it's appropriate for them to do ending events- I really value the plays etc- but I don't require them to do disco's outside school much less use it as an opportunity to sanction some children. Also there should be extra pay or toil involved when It does occur. Life is frenetic enough around these times. It always seems to me a lot of effort and I'd rather they focussed on the in school.experience. Would happily let the discos go.

Danger and safety are different. Danger is she going start a fight - probably not. Safety is she going to wander off - a strong possibility based on behaviour that has been sanctioned. Therefore due to her sanctioned behaviour a decision based on safety has been made. The issue is trust - do you trust this child to behave in a different, exciting, possibly emotional environment? On the balance of probabilities based on behaviour the answer is no. These decisions are not emotion based on pissed off or gotchas they are following safety protocols so staff don’t end up getting sanction or sacked because children end up in difficult situation.

@Dozer it is absolutely the case that lack of structure and kind but firm boundaries leads - in some cases - to MH issues. Many autistic and ADHD people want, like and need boundaries. I include myself in that.

Since when did year 11 prom become a thing?
It used to be For 6th formers who had worked hard and taken their A levels.

Year 11 are much less mature and less likely to behave; especially if they have essentially left the school in question. Though I have heard that it's now spreading to year 6 leavers parties.
I would vote for it proms only for 6th formers, in order to bring some sense to the situation.
It is perfectly normal for badly behaved kids to be excluded from school trips. Especially abroad! Teachers can't have kids wandering off in foreign countries, not turning up at the right time and place.

As For uniform. Air hostesses and pilots would be reprimanded if they didn't adhere to the dress code. Vets. Nurses. Vet nurses. Hospital staff. Some childcare settings. Some hairdressers. Kitchen staff. Hotel receptionist and cleaners. All have to look smart and wear uniform.
The college where I worked- all the hair and beauty students had to wear a smart tunic and black trousers. We had a beauty salon which was open to the public.
Still waiting to hear the career path that this child has chosen

Children wilfully leaving the classroom are a safety risk. They can't be trusted to follow the instructions of the adults.

Now you have selectively misquoted me - and no one is calling anyone bastards and the issue if the OP is believed would be senior leadership (I know how very dare I)
Who should be clear about why they are doing things. Is it a safety issue in the prom or is it a sanction?
The OP has said it's a sanction under a policy- for mainly historic transgressions - going to the toilet and uniform and other unspecified stuff. But there is no behaviour plan in place - so the current problems can't be as you are suggesting.
A child who is currently a danger to safety is a completely different conversation. You are free to disbelieve the OP. I'm saying in this case on what is presented I don't believe this is an appropriate sanction. Not that there should be no sanctions for anything.