High-achieving ds feels teachers have turned against him in Y13

I think this is a very good post. I don’t know about your son, and this may be way off the mark, but young people who have suceeded at everything they’ve done or never experienced adversity have not had to practice reliance so may be unprepared. Who knows why the teacher(s) have cooled off. I’d say it’s more important that rather than searching for answers he (and you) do not internalise this - at this point in an A Level course the writing’s pretty well on the wall. He needs to relax, keep doing what he’s doing, use his head, don’t let him turn a little blip into a wobble and he will smash it. Good luck to him.

I was always a high-achieving student, and if I wasn’t getting top marks, I’d be asking exactly what I needed to do to reach them.

Looking back, I did come across a couple of difficult teachers. In some cases, it felt like there was an element of insecurity—especially with students who were very capable or aiming high. Not every teacher achieved top grades themselves or went on to the most competitive paths, and occasionally that can show in how they respond to ambitious students, particularly if they know your son wants to pursue that subject at university.

If that’s what’s happening here, it’s important your son understands that this likely says more about the teacher than it does about him. I look back now and realise just how much more intelligent I was than the difficult teacher and how pathetic he was- I kind of wish at the time someone had pointed it out to me. The teacher is unlikely to change their attitude and just deny they are doing anything, so his focus should stay on doing as well as he can and proving himself where it really counts—his exams.

However, if this teacher has any influence over coursework or internal assessments, that’s a different matter. In that case, I’d seriously consider raising it with the school and asking whether another teacher in the department can be involved in marking, just to ensure everything is fair.

This is what I was coming on to say. Many years ago I was a student who sounds very like your son. I was told by my English teacher to just stop working at about this point in the year as I was in danger of moving beyond the rubric of the exam and not hitting the 'obvious' points. My son clearly did just this in one of his Classics A levels. He came home full of how he'd written lots about a complicated theory he'd just developed. I was sure that in doing this he'd missed the things the examiners were looking for, and this proved to be the case - he got the worst mark for what he thought was his best paper (still an A star, but only just!). (He did something very similar in one of his Oxford finals papers, so didn't really learn).

I was also later told at Oxford, by someone I had thought was a great friend (and did later become one) that she had greatly resented me at school as in History I had always made the point she meant to just before she did. Unintentional intellectual arrogance is something teachers need to manage.
As an academic myself, I was often aware of the need to stop the bright and keen students from sucking up all the oxygen.

It's a matter of weeks now. I would expect they've covered all the material. Maybe they're trying to focus on the borderline students since they're already confident he's going to get the grades. To be honest, the time for discussion and debate is done now. It's the time for students who feel they lack confidence in aspects of the syllabus or who perhaps have gaps to check that they have all the material they need, and for tweaking of exam technique. He might also be, however unwittingly, intimidating other students who are doing well but he is almost certainly working beyond A-Level standard by now, and that can make others feel bad when they're doing just fine.

I would just tell him to keep his head down and focus on revision. It sounds like he's ready for the next challenge.

@stripycats even if there's no eyerolling, do you/he think the neither the trachers not his classmates not pick up on his impatience?

A trait that is often so difficult to supress aa an adult, not to mention a child. Body language, facial expressions and non verbal clues will gave him away.

It's the fact that both you/he can't even contemplate that he's part of the problrm, that makes me certain he is.

Goodness knows how I have managed thirty years of teaching and the some of the best results in the school (and nationally as it goes) then.

Thanks for your wise advice. I shall take it on board (I was tempted just to answer 'eh?' but that would have been silly.)

It sounds the opposite though, that he’s losing confidence? Rather than ‘simply refuses to believe he’s not perfect’ or ‘spitting his dummy’?

That all sounds quite derogatory, was that your intention?

‘Marking is a dialogue’ isn’t an excuse for vague sloppy comments. You’re not a troll standing on a bridge, and the point of teaching isn’t for the student to guess your riddles three so that they can pass. Good feedback means encapsulating quickly and concisely what the issue is in a way that no only allows the student to learn in that individual instance but to grasp a principle more broadly so they can apply it in future. It is simply a massive waste of time, not only the student’s time but your own time, to mark an essay by writing comments like ‘eh???’ If you are going to do that you might as well give up on the idea of external teaching altogether, and just tell the students that you expect them to teach themselves. If that is your expectation fine, but in that case give up your salary as well.

Exactly. There seems to be a lack of transparent feedback on what is happening.

He needs to know if his performance has dropped or factor in tighter marking.

The thing that would concern me is less the debate and attitude of teachers and more the dropping marks.
Marking should be consistent and if he is dropping marks then either his work is not as good as it was or the marking is different. He needs to know which it is so that he can work on it.

And just to add - for my most able I would share full mark answer exemplars or re-write answers to make them full mark.

This type of feedback is the most useful (and perhaps they have done this!) but I’d be asking for this to help him understand why and where he is dropping marks.

I write 'not quite', 'not sure about this', 'hmmm', and 'really?' ALL the time on marking! I have been know to write 'eh??' It's for the (especially a bright) student to go away and think about how they have expressed themselves or what isn't quite grasping or articulating the point. Marking is a dialogue. This is better than the teachers who only ever annotate and mark in exam spec language which is no use to anyone!

On a point of order , it was never the OP who said 'golden boy' or 'eye rolling'. There is an awful lot of creative thinking going on. OP : never ever say really positive things about your own child on MN . It gets the sharks circling.

I agree.

At this point good teachers should be highlighting issues and troubleshooting to help him optimise his performance for A levels and beyond.

Just to say I’ve taught Y13 in what you would consider “social sciences” ie essay based subjects, and the second half of the year it is normal to push your very top students to challenge and stretch them so they’re both ready for the exam (where more in depth analysis is required) and for university, where there is far more independence and less guidance from tutors.

Hopefully he has his confidence restored soon, and is able to have a good open conversation about it with his tutors. It must be really hard to watch him struggle with this - it’s such a highly stressful time for young people AND their parents. I wish you all the best with supporting him - from my experience not all parents are as thoughtful and invested as you.

I don't know where you got the idea 'A' levels are more difficult than degrees? I suppose some degrees maybe. But most Oxbridge students will have got 3 A stars, and are still nearly floored by the amount of reading and essays they are expected to do EVERY WEEK.

‘not quite’ is just poor teaching. There’s no mystical benefit to OP’s son to trying to guess what his teacher had in mind. The teacher should make the effort to express themselves more clearly. I know some Oxbridge dons do give ‘feedback’ like this, so to that extent I suppose it’s useful preparation for what he may encounter, but it’s not for any high-minded reason. They’re just spending minimal time on teaching so they can give more time to their own research.

Actually, op, by writing off some of the comments on here you are probably demonstrating why your son is struggling with the setting.
Personally I haven't seen a useless point being made in this thread. Everything is salient. But you've been a bit dismissive and said ah well, at least some of you get it.

My feeling is your son's achievements need to be strategised in a classroom setting by his teachers. Whilst he sees them as "gushing" over others, there can easily have been several of them seeing teachers "gushing" over him for the whole of the course. The teachers see all of the responses. You only see your son's.

You are resistant emotionally to some of this thread, exactly as your son is resistant emotionally to some things in class.

But that's already been said several times, here.

He’s bright but sounds like he needs to build up a lot of resilience and quickly (and you also) or he is really going to struggle mentally at oxbridge

Is this impatience with those stating the obvious new? He may just be outgrowing school and not appreciate that he is light years ahead of where some other students need to be just to pass, and that the teacher is not there for his sole benefit. I've had similar conversations about stating the obvious with my Y10 DS who gets frustrated with not being able to charge ahead with challenging ideas in some subjects, yet needs to be reminded that he needs to tick all the boxes on the mark scheme because while his teachers may know he knows it, the examiners don't.

The vague feedback sounds frustrating for him. While I agree he needs to build resilience and critically examine his own work, can he approach teachers once he's made a stab at it and ask why they've put those comment to help him do better next time?

OP, don't worry about him at Oxbridge. Concentrate and encourage him right now and reassure him that for whatever reason this teacher is being a bit difficult- but it might be worth listening. He will find his own way. I've found that trying to advise my children never goes very well, but listening and allowing them to learn, whilst completely having their back, lets them figure it out for themselves. He's done pretty well to date and there's no reason to think this is beyond a natural edginess as the exams approach.

Perhaps if you repackage it as a good opportunity for learning to cope with an Oxbridge style he might feel less offended by it?

I do think he sounds as though he needs to toughen up and dial down the sense of being affronted by what he feels is a lack of esteem, as no-one will pander to him there. Actually, even dons can be really quite rude when it comes to academic discussion! If someone thinks your argument falls short, no-one is taking any prisoners.
ETA think Mumsnet but with an IQ screening before taking part! 😂

Sorry I don't understand what you're saying.

Some teachers are 'masters of learning' if they're very passionate and experienced? I don't get your point.