How to choose between these grammar schools and nearby family areas?

Living in Sevenoaks is extremely expensive though. Especially close to the station, more expensive than Tonbridge or Sutton, for sure.
Also QE is not a good suggestion for a kid where the parent is worried about mild dyslexia/ADHD. It is incredibly competitive with some culling at Sixth Form.
Judd or Sutton would both be more gentle.
I think Tonbridge and surrounding villages are all fine price wise.
Wallington County is also a good school.
I just think moving out of Central London with an extremely international vibe and not being British to somewhere like Tonbridge could be a bit of a culture shock, to put it mildly. But plenty of people do it. The OP does not say their heritage, race, religion or anything like that. It is difficult to advise without any of that.

@justasmallbiz
What would put you off Kent schools?

Personally I wouldn’t want to move to Dartford. Have you visited that bit of Kent OP?

I agree with the previous poster who said lots of boys travel for Judd. Living in Sevenoaks seems common and then kids and parents both commute in opposite directions.

If you move into catchment for KEGS, then you’d move to the in catchment waiting list - however, it doesn’t move that fast. So unless his score is 355+ then you’d not be top. With CRGS as there’s no catchment, where are you on WL?

ignoring area, I’d go:
QE
CRGS or KEGS (they’re equal in my opinion)
WHSB

I wouldn’t consider Kent schools.

A quick Google indicate that Sutton will respond to emails about waiting list places from March 23rd

(AI so do check any info on the school sites)

ETA this is the central site which says you can ask from today but that individual schools may have various dates

www.sutton.gov.uk/w/national-offer-day-for-secondary-schools

Gosh OP I’m finding you very hard to follow . For us a Grammar School place has been superb for our son ( the son that got a place anyway ! ) Not one you’ve considered .

If you have an offer then I would personally get on with researching the area and finding somewhere to live . Easter holidays are not far away - I’d suggest you make that your trip away . Go and find out about the area first hand . I personally think you are fairly unlikely to get anywhere much with waiting lists for other schools . People go to great lengths to get their offer - not that many turn it down ( though I do know a couple that still went private )

I would take the offer you have and not overthink it if it’s a school you like and commutable for your job.
Judd has been great for our son. Many boys travel quite long distances to Judd each day (eg from Bromley or Orpington). I don’t know anything about Dartford Grammar, that looks brilliant too.

I'm going out now, but can post my thoughts on the pros and cons of Sutton soon.

Housing in Sutton / Wallington probably £600k min for 3 bed semi up to 950k 4 bed.

Do you have any idea where you are on the waiting list for Sutton? Because it would be best just to make a decision and start making your living arrangements for Kent.

Tonbridge area is 93% white according to the Census and they voted in Reform in Kent.
Sutton is much more mixed with 43% minority but I think as it is suburbia less kids move constantly and so your DS will settle into friendships. Your focus should be on him making life long friends and settling into his life, in a safe environment. The school itself is less of an issue. Quality in all these grammars is very similar. The one thing to note though is Dartford still only does International Baccalaureate, that may or may not change in next few years.
Judd is a great school but definitely far more of a white preppy feel to it than the others you have listed.

Right so you’re holding Dartford or Judd. There are fast trains from Tonbridge into London - around 35 minutes. They go into London Bridge/Charing Cross.
Dartford also takes longer as they tend to stop more. However somewhere like Bexleyheath which has a few faster trains and you can get a bus to the school may work better. Orpington has a bus into Dartford and a fast train service into London. If you need fast trains - look at somewhere near Ebsfleet (you’ll pay more for the commute though.) Dartford is patchy some nice bits and some not so nice bits!
Just beware of the suburban train line trap - it can often take longer because the stations have stopping trains where as further out the trains are faster as they come straight in.

Do you currently have an offer at either Sutton Grammar or Wallington? If you do, these schools are some of the best located for commute times to Central London, although house prices may be higher than some areas, due to being relatively close in. It's more suburban than some of the other areas, which can be a pro or con, but may be less of a change from Central London and easier to travel back to see friends etc.

You won't get many people who can compare all areas, as most people will only apply in 1 or 2 areas. As my username suggests, I know Sutton quite well, but not the others. I can give my thoughts on areas/housing there, but I think at this point you need to commit to researching the area around the school already you have. I would only go on waiting lists for other schools if you feel strongly at this point. Otherwise you will potentially get other waiting list offers and then have to make quick decisions about which place to take. If your first choice was a school you really liked at the time, then trust that decision! It sounds like you have a bright, well-rounded boy who will do well at any of these schools.

Edited to say, I was writing this before your final post. I now see you have a Kent school, not a Sutton one.

OP - you are more likely to get advice if you say which school you have been offered.

As we have all said you are unlikely to get a place on the waiting list on any other school, so advice on other locations is a bit of a waste.

Ahahaha that answered no questions or eased no arguments 😀

For which school are you holding an offer, OP?

Trying to decipher the OP’s situation feels like an 11+ question in itself.

Which school have you been offered and what are your thoughts about moving to an area that would give your child a reasonable journey to school?

Which is the other school you think you are still in scope for, and same question for the location? Is the location considerably better for your family that you’d gamble on a wait list?

The idea behind some of the superselectives not having distance criteria was not intended to enable exam tourism. In most cases, it is because they are located in built up areas, for example in and around London or the South East, and have a local main line station, which theoretically means that children from a wide area could easily travel in. So instead of limiting places to those living within 10 miles or so, they decided to exercise flexibility. Sometimes you can live 15 miles away but the train journey itself is shortish as the main line station enables that.
However, the more people abuse the system, the more they end up cutting the superselective places. So Dartford Grammar just cut a whole lot of out of area last year. There won’t be any left at this point if people keep doing this kind of thing. The places are meant for bright kids within a reasonable commuting distance, not meant for exam shopping or system gaming.

Some grammar schools are 'distance blind' and offer some or all places just based on score.

But OP is not actually holding multiple offers - she will be holding one offer and possibly on the waiting list of others.

I don’t understand how they can be holding offers in London, Essex, Surrey, Kent if they don’t live in those areas.

Also if you got offered your first choice in the area you won’t be on the waiting list for the other schools. It doesn’t make sense.

It is also possible that this poster is another of those foreign education consultant fishing for information. Like I said, there appears to be some international exam tourism going on which I completely object to as a British taxpayer. There is too much not adding up.