Travelling to school? How?

Train or bus sounds fine. Neither too early or too complicated and either should be doable for a typical high schooler. Personally I’d go with train just for the later start, unless the bus is more affordable. You should start practicing now and she’ll be fine by then. And it won’t matter if she has to stand for a little while unless there’s something you haven’t mentioned.

You do sound very worried so I think the more you get used to it now the better. Start using the train more, show her how it works and how to read the transport maps. Make sure she has a debit card etc.

You’ll have to find a way to make it work. Surely this came up before you applied? Sounds like you have a good range of options though.

The train sounds absolutely fine. Dropping her at the bus stop is also an option.

In my day you worked all this out before you applied. Schools should take distance away and travel into consideration when offering places.

@Animalover. Worried about a child getting child standing? Surely the children are fitter and more able to stand than the middle aged commuters with all kinds of health problems! Assume standing is the norm

Train, practice 2-3 times with her then let her try alone during the summer, once term begins walk her to the station the first week. Lots of dc use the train

When I was 11 I used to have to get a bus to the station, then a train and then a tube for 2 stops. The train will be fine for her at that age.

Or you try and move her to a more local school, but you would be crazy to do that.

Most London children use public transport alone from 11. That train journey sounds fine and, if the school is as sought after as you say, I guarantee there will be others doing the same thing. Do you not have anyone in your extended social network joining the same school, so the children could travel together, at least at first? Worth asking around.

Make sure you teach basic personal safety as well as the ins and outs of the journey itself - keeping to main roads and not using lonely cut-throughs, not having phone visible, being sensible about crossing roads.
I had a 45 min public transport commute to my school and those journeys evolved to be some of the most fun and social times of my day.

Either train (I know several children who take the train to school on their own from year 7) or you give her a lift to the bus stop.

Im assuming it’s a private school (school bus) in which case I’d opt doe coach for first year if she’s going to have sport or music practise / rehearsal before school. It’s much less stressful for them if bus is late or held up they’re they don’t have to explain and the coach usually gets them there 8am
or just after so they can go straight to rehearsal / practice.

the train is stressful as if it’s running late she’ll have to explain to the office what’s happened (and take a photo of the departure board etc). She likely won’t always get a seat and certainly some adults would expect a school child to give up their seat …

so maybe school coach for a term or two and then switch to train?

lots of 11 yo get the train

My son witjh SENDs is walking to the train station, taking a 20 min train and then a bus to school since year 7. He leaves the house at 7:15 every day, home just before 6pm.
If my ASD child can do that, your neurotypical child will most certainly cope.

The train is your best option IMHO.

An NT 11yo should be fine to catch the train. Has she used public transport before – with you or better still, alone? If not, start practising. Most 11yo make their own way to school and in London that often involves catching the tube; outside London a walk to a service bus is not unusual.

Honestly I’d suggest you drive her to the school bus for the first year or so. I saw your update and given driving all the way was an option I can’t work out what you were going to do with the sibling at that point? Assuming it’s a private school then most school buses round here leave that early (a consideration when not choosing the local school of course).

Unless she’s going a weird route then train’s will be packed, no hope of a seat and if anything like my commute, frequently delayed. My kids frequently use public transport so I’d have less issue with them navigating this, but you do sound quite anxious and that it doesn’t seem she usually goes on a trains.

Given it’s all new and you are insisting on a school a long way away then for first couple of years I’d opt for the simplest option.

Finally how will she get home if clubs etc ? Is there a later bus?

Train. My DC, young for year, travels on a packed tube every day and has since third week of first term. They get used to it and they are now better then me with optimal entry and exit positioning on platform for a few stations!

I think you’ll find that other kids will be doing similar routes and the school may promote a travel buddy system as well. Driving seems a no go and the school bus won’t leave any flexibility if she misses it. Honestly, the train sounds perfectly fine and the best option. She’ll be absolutely fine.

I think the train sounds fine.
The trains round here are stuffed full of chikdreb getting to and from school.

Remember also that you can start with the bus if you feel its safer and then when older change to train.

Can you not do a dummy run on the train this week and see before deciding? Or at least nip down the station and see what the train looks like in terms of passengers

My dc take a train across London to secondary. I went with them for the first 2 days, then they found another kid in the same class on the same route and went together. Entirely normal at that age.

Is there anyone else living near you going to that school she could maybe travel with? Or is there a parents Facebook group or something?
I agree with people saying the train is probably the best option, but it would be nice for her to have someone to travel with wouldn’t it? It could make the journeys more fun.

I would do the school bus. Drop your dd off at the bus stop in the morning - just leave the other dc in their pyjamas and take them in the car with you.
My dc did the school bus from years 7-13 and they never complained. They said it was a great way of making friends and a fun part of their day. Their bus came at 7.30am and they managed fine - they walked to the school bus stop or got another bus to it if they were running late plus the bus was free with their zip cards

which school and which area do you live in?

I don't think 7.45 is crazy early. My ds leaves at 8.
I think the train journey sounds fine.

Train and start getting the train with her on weekends and school holidays so she can get used to the route. She might not be the only child at that school taking this particular train, there may be others and they usually come together.

I know it seems daunting but it is completely normal. What you need to do is equip her with knowledge, what to do if the train is cancelled in either direction. How long until the next one? And practise her holding her head high, looking in the mirror to practise looking confident even though she probably won't feel it.

She needs to do this by herself. Ds walked 20 minutes to school, I had to take my youngest to school in the opposite direction, no choice.

At 11 they should be getting themselves ready - you shouldn’t need to be involved.

Train is fine. DT’s got the Tube to school - met school friends on route. If she can’t get a seat, she stands like any other passenger.

Train will be fine as long as she has a phone. She’ll quickly learn what to do when the trains are up the spout. Train and station staff are very good with kids when that happens. My DC take the train and much prefer it to the school coach (which eventually got cancelled for being too expensive in any case).