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Only secondary school is bad - what lengths to avoid?

83 replies

Curlewwoohoo · 08/02/2026 14:50

What would you do if the only secondary school your child will definitely get into, sucks? I'm talking disruptive kids, unhappy teachers, ineffective management. Maybe my title was a poor choice as avoiding may not be an option and there might be other ideas to mitigate.

OP posts:
Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 17:00

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:59

I’m not sure what point you’re making?

tell me, is it in a grammar school county or not?

is it a grammar school or not?

Not a grammar

my point is - that there’s a catchment area as a pre req

Curlewwoohoo · 08/02/2026 17:00

AeroChambre · 08/02/2026 16:55

I would first of all check that what I thought about the secondary was actually correct. Where do other dc go? How it is a brilliant primary if they all end up in a secondary thats so awful?

My dc go to our catchment high school which was undersubscribed and Ofsted RI. A neighbour told me her dc would only go there 'over her dead body' and lots of other parents tied themselves in knots doing 11+ tutoring, moving house and going to church etc to avoid it.

My dc have thrived. Loads of clubs and sports, good trips and opportunities. The academic high flier got to do additional gcses and took some early (got 9s). They've got lovely friends and have been happy throughout.

There are parents in our village still moving house and then doing big commutes to the primary, paying loads and stressing everyone out over 11+ for a super selective an hour away etc....

The secondary is fine. More than fine.

Thanks. The other option is indeed to give it a try, lots of kids are fine there and on paper it should be a good year group as many failed 11+. I was wondering if anyone would say this.

OP posts:
Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 17:00

I didn’t realise that state schools still had selective criteria. My apologies. Looks very linked to distance though

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:59

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:58

Parents who wish their children to take the Entrance Examination and/or Musical Aptitude tests must
(a) Ensure that their child’s permanent home address is within one of the Local Priority Areas for the School (listed on
page 4 of this document) or that their child is educated within the London Borough of Islington at the closing date
for test registration.
(b) Ensure that their child is available to sit the tests on the dates detailed above.
(c) Complete the Test Registration Form which will be available on the Admissions Section of the school website (from
the date above) and submit it to the School no later than the closing date for test registration. We are unable to
accept registrations after this date.
Parents should be aware that the results of the tests do not guarantee a place at the School. For more information on the
Governor’s Entrance Examination and Musical Aptitude tests please refer to Oversubscription criteria 4 and 5 on
page 3 of these arrangements.
1Application
Parents who wish to make an applicati

I’m not sure what point you’re making?

tell me, is it in a grammar school county or not?

is it a grammar school or not?

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:58

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:52

my daughter is going here

https://damealiceowens.herts.sch.uk/download-page/?dlm-dp-dl=80993

she took 4 other selective tests at state schools. I could name hundreds, so no need to ask 🤣 have you reallly not heard of selective schools outside of grammar counties?

Parents who wish their children to take the Entrance Examination and/or Musical Aptitude tests must
(a) Ensure that their child’s permanent home address is within one of the Local Priority Areas for the School (listed on
page 4 of this document) or that their child is educated within the London Borough of Islington at the closing date
for test registration.
(b) Ensure that their child is available to sit the tests on the dates detailed above.
(c) Complete the Test Registration Form which will be available on the Admissions Section of the school website (from
the date above) and submit it to the School no later than the closing date for test registration. We are unable to
accept registrations after this date.
Parents should be aware that the results of the tests do not guarantee a place at the School. For more information on the
Governor’s Entrance Examination and Musical Aptitude tests please refer to Oversubscription criteria 4 and 5 on
page 3 of these arrangements.
1Application
Parents who wish to make an applicati

AeroChambre · 08/02/2026 16:55

I would first of all check that what I thought about the secondary was actually correct. Where do other dc go? How it is a brilliant primary if they all end up in a secondary thats so awful?

My dc go to our catchment high school which was undersubscribed and Ofsted RI. A neighbour told me her dc would only go there 'over her dead body' and lots of other parents tied themselves in knots doing 11+ tutoring, moving house and going to church etc to avoid it.

My dc have thrived. Loads of clubs and sports, good trips and opportunities. The academic high flier got to do additional gcses and took some early (got 9s). They've got lovely friends and have been happy throughout.

There are parents in our village still moving house and then doing big commutes to the primary, paying loads and stressing everyone out over 11+ for a super selective an hour away etc....

The secondary is fine. More than fine.

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 08/02/2026 16:54

I would move in a heartbeat. I got my children into good schools through appeals (with genuine and legitimate reasons). I would go to any lengths feasible to avoid a shit school. Primary is a bit easier but secondary can make or break kids.

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:53

Poster above also named grey coats which is central London. So you got 2 names 😁

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:52

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:48

Where is a state that is selective in any way (aside from religious affiliation)? Just one

my daughter is going here

https://damealiceowens.herts.sch.uk/download-page/?dlm-dp-dl=80993

she took 4 other selective tests at state schools. I could name hundreds, so no need to ask 🤣 have you reallly not heard of selective schools outside of grammar counties?

Download Page | Dame Alice Owen's School

https://damealiceowens.herts.sch.uk/download-page/?dlm-dp-dl=80993

ShetlandishMum · 08/02/2026 16:50

We moved. State of schools were simply too bad. No regrets.

LesserSootyOwl · 08/02/2026 16:50

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:49

What county?

Hertfordshire

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:49

LesserSootyOwl · 08/02/2026 16:11

This isn't correct. In my county there are lots of state schools that offer 10% of places based on selective criteria (often sport or music). They're not grammar schools as grammar schools offer 100% of places based on academic selection.

What county?

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:48

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:06

But you don’t need to be in a grammar school county, was my point. That’s why I am referring to them as state selectives

Where is a state that is selective in any way (aside from religious affiliation)? Just one

Elizabeta · 08/02/2026 16:33

I would move. Really. Lots of people move for schooling.

I’m in central London where there aren’t grammar schools, but there are state schools with weird selection rules that you might fit into (eg Grey Coats), and independents with very good bursary policies (I know about Dulwich, I’m sure there are others). So I’d be researching like mad for things like that, and making sure I fitted the criteria.

Iworkmiricles · 08/02/2026 16:22

In places like Northumberland, there are towns with one secondary school, and the others are 30 miles away, or even in Scotland.
If that one school in town is not good, your choice is travelling. Do you drive? Some situations like this need a parent who can get there in case of emergency.
The surrounding schools will be used to this so speak to them.

Thingsthatgo · 08/02/2026 16:16

I would move. When we chose our house the top priority for me was to be close enough to the best secondary in our area to guarantee a place. We live on a busy road, and have a small garden, but my DCs are thriving at a school where the teachers are enthusiastic, the after school clubs are excellent (and free), and the students are friendly and hard working (mostly).

LesserSootyOwl · 08/02/2026 16:11

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 15:59

@Itsmetheflamingo there is no such thing as a selective state school unless it is a grammar school.

It is that simple

This isn't correct. In my county there are lots of state schools that offer 10% of places based on selective criteria (often sport or music). They're not grammar schools as grammar schools offer 100% of places based on academic selection.

Curlewwoohoo · 08/02/2026 16:09

I will give more info if it's annoys people.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:08

Curlewwoohoo · 08/02/2026 16:07

I'm trying to keep things hypothetical for this thread because I'm just interested to hear how far others would or wouldn't go to avoid a poor secondary. Rather than give all of our info and get advice on what we should do. I know the options available, and they are few, unfortunately.

It’s common for people to move house where we live.

Curlewwoohoo · 08/02/2026 16:07

I'm trying to keep things hypothetical for this thread because I'm just interested to hear how far others would or wouldn't go to avoid a poor secondary. Rather than give all of our info and get advice on what we should do. I know the options available, and they are few, unfortunately.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 16:06

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 15:59

@Itsmetheflamingo there is no such thing as a selective state school unless it is a grammar school.

It is that simple

But you don’t need to be in a grammar school county, was my point. That’s why I am referring to them as state selectives

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 16:00

It’s obviously it’s dependant on being near selective state schools.

Do not exist unless grammar

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 15:59

@Itsmetheflamingo there is no such thing as a selective state school unless it is a grammar school.

It is that simple

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 15:59

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 15:55

Dependent on a county with a grammar school system

It’s obviously it’s dependant on being near selective state schools.

however I am not in a grammar school county and suspect most aren’t (which counties even are? apart from Kent, and I guess the north of Ireland) and my child was able to sit 3 selective state entrance exams.

check out 11+ forum for details of the ones that may be near you OP

Todayuneed · 08/02/2026 15:55

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/02/2026 15:52

I would sit all selective exams within 30
miles

i would sit all schools with sport/ music spaces (admittedly we were prepped well in advance to do this)

finally, move. Even though our options are good 7 people in my DC year 6 have moved purely for school catchment

Dependent on a county with a grammar school system