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Original poster

Our secondary schools much different because of where they are?

32 replies

teachermum23 · 10/12/2025 21:22

Hello,
In short: what has your experience been of sending your kids to school in a rural area versus a city area?

Some context: I live in a busy city. My oldest child (of 2) has just started reception. He’s had a very positive start and I am feeling good about his journey through this school. He is a very sensitive boy, which is a trait that I have shared with him.

Whilst the city life is extremely convenient for the stage of life, and we are mostly happy, I imagine that in the future we will move to a less populated area, possibly even rural. This is partly due to my husband having grown up this way and his keenness to do this again. But I have to be honest and say that it is also because I am a little terrified of sending my kids to a secondary school in a city. To give some background, I grew up in the outskirts of London, and then moved to another capital city abroad, before moving to my current city. I am not just scared of cities in general.

When I do the nursery/school run, I cross over with some kids from two different secondary schools and to be honest I am just horrified at the way they speak to each other, the way they treat members of the public and just the general demeanour. As an adult I find it intimidating, so I just cannot imagine how a little year seven must feel going into a place with hundreds of kids like this. I see them vaping, smoking, mocking members of the public, including elderly people, I mostly hear them punctuating in their speech with swearing and generally talking to each other in an unkind and derogatory way. I could Recall invade detail the interactions that I have had with secretary school pupils that have been positive because they have been so few and far between.

I do realise that a lot of this is just teenage behaviour in general. However, is there any truth in the thought that kids in a rural place with less kids in the school may have a slightly more positive/less intense experience of secondary school? I am possibly looking at this through Rose tinted spectacles…I do realise this. I have never lived in a rural place, so I have no experience of how different this life could be.

Why I’m writing this post is because I would like to hear others’ experiences on how realistic or idealistic my vision of another type of life could be.

I would love to hear from anyone who has moved from a city to a less populated area. How have you found it? How has your schools experience been? Would you recommend it? What was it like for teenagers growing up in this area as opposed to a city? Etc etc.

Thanks in advance ☺️

OP posts:
Clementine12 · 10/12/2025 22:19

DS goes to a city school. I work in a rural school. You get challenging kids in both. Deprivation in both. Good and bad teachers in both. SEN in both. It’s how the school deals with things that counts, rather than location.

Pieceofpurplesky · 10/12/2025 22:11

I've taught in rural and inner city. Teenagers are teenagers wherever they are. The language and the behaviour is standard in both. It isn't all of them though - you probably haven't noticed the vast majority of polite and well mannered kids!

Rural kids can be less street smart.

MigGirl · 10/12/2025 22:07

PurpleCyclamen · 10/12/2025 21:31

You will only find secondary schools in towns though so moving rurally you will have a bit of a trek to secondary school.

No not true, we live in a small town, yes there are 3 high schools. But I work village high school some distance away and I know of at lest 3 other village high schools. The difference between them and the town schools is that they will often take students from a very large area. One village school I know is actually bigger then the town ones, another is a smaller school and the one ai work at has an average number of students.

I would say to OP that the behaviour is often slightly better then places like London, but yous do get unruly children everywhere. Also DD did complain that loads of kids at college (so 16+) vaped. Which seems to be the thing now rather then smoking.

clary · 10/12/2025 21:56

My DC went to school in the city where we live and I don’t recognise the behaviour you describe at all @teachermum23. Tbf the last one left in 2021 but I cannot imagine things have changed so much. They and their friends were pleasant and polite. Yes I am sure they behaved a bit differently when I wasn't there but still I would be surprised if they mocked the elderly (not saying you haven't witnessed this behaviour btw).

There are secondary schools in villages as well as towns; I can think of at least three local to me. All three are popular for different reasons but I am not sure that the politeness of the students is a big draw in any case.

The thing is, living rurally is a pain in the neck for a teen. I grew up in a very rural area, bus to school, friends all lived miles away, no social offer to speak of in the nearest town, no late transport, no clubs to speak of in my village. I am sure it was a blight on my childhood. Yes things will have improved as SM makes it easier for teens to stay in touch, and no doubt parents today are more keen to tote their DC hither and yon than mine were. But honestly, if you have never lived in a rural area, take it from me, it's not a always great environment for a teen, unless they are excessively into rural activities (like horse riding).

Treylime · 10/12/2025 21:38

PurpleCyclamen · 10/12/2025 21:31

You will only find secondary schools in towns though so moving rurally you will have a bit of a trek to secondary school.

Thats not always true. We live in a village and dc2 goes to school 6th form in a small village 6 miles away and dc3 goes to a school in a different village 4 miles away. The kids in the schools are nothing like those you have described.

TheNightingalesStarling · 10/12/2025 21:32

My children attend the village secondary. It has 240 children per year, so no different to a more urban school in size. (It covers 6 villages, and everything in between)

The children are perhaps a bit more nieve than city children, but they aren't completely innocent.

PurpleCyclamen · 10/12/2025 21:31

You will only find secondary schools in towns though so moving rurally you will have a bit of a trek to secondary school.